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    Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

    Just wondering how many people actually go unnoticed as being alcohol dependant/being an alcoholic?

    My close family certainly know that I like a drink and I have certainly been very drunk in their presence on numerous family occasions but I don't think any of them truly know the extent of my drinking, nor do my friends, the only one who knows how much I actually get through is my DH, I feel as if no-one really knows the true me! Also today I felt for the first time in a long time like I was a 'normal person because I haven't drunk for a few days and don't smell of AL or look hungover!
    Taking it ODAT

    #2
    Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

    Everyon knows i drink to much but to the extent do not think so.Started drinking last night i do not think i can stop even tho i want to.

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      #3
      Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

      I have been trying to keep it to myself. I almost think it will make more sense to be upfront about it however...my partner is telling her friends that I'm not going out to fancy dinners (featuring wine) because I have a crippling case of shyness!

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        #4
        Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

        When i was drinking nobody really knew how bad i was. My sister and my roommate knew i drank everyday but they had no idea of the personal hell i was in. When i first stopped drinking i think i told only my family and roommate. Now almost 10 months later i feel no shame in telling anyone. I worked very hard to get where i am today and i am proud of who i am today. I also figure there are millions of us out there and maybe if someone hears about my successes and they or someone they know have a problem, maybe i could help even if just to listen.

        My shame was in my drinking. Today i am proud to be sober. If people choose to judge me based on who i used to be then shame on them.
        AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

        Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

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          #5
          Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

          Maybe it's just my own experience, but after years of battling this, in a basically non-woman-drinking-tolerant society, I've found everyone who listens knows about my past problems. Thought I was so clever, a closet drinker, but now that I know it's public knowledge, actually saying to someone 'I'm not drinking because I choose not to' is SO easy! Kinda like shedding a hair coat. There are no explanations needed, or deserved. I had a really nosy person I knew hound me once at a social function after I'd deferred, and I turned on her, asked 'And why do you need to know this?'. Stopped her cold. I'm sure it didn't stop the gossip, but that's cheap, from cheap people. Be yourself, be sober, and you owe no explanations to people who don't care about you.
          sigpic
          Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
          awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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            #6
            Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

            As stated in a previous post of mine, I LOVE the internet message boards. I certainly made no bones about how much I used to drink when I was on the boards. It really didnt bother me, that people knew I drank everyday, I was sort of "Otis of Mayberry" on the boards.

            Now, having some success living AF, I DAYUM sure am shouting it from the rooftops, doing my best to strike a balance and not be "that guy".

            Dont want people thinking I feel elite, because I choose not to pour poison down my throat, if they wish to, that is certainly their choice
            Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




            DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

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              #7
              Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

              I think that people are hesitant to use the word alcoholic. It seems that they prefer to reference a "problem with alcohol". Ont the one hand people who care about seeit and would like to help and don't know how. Then there are the ones who only mention it to judge you.
              In my case it's a work thing. As I've said before I was or was starting to be the company drunk. Looking back at comments made I'm sure of it. This worked in my favor because I hace a really great job that I certainly don't want to lose; I also want it to do it well without my performance affected by hangovers etc
              I don't say much, but I don't care who knows about it. I'm kinda proud that on Oct 7th I said NO MORE SMOKING AND DRINKING! And I've done it and it's not scary.
              I'm sure the local bar people are wondering where I've gone. They mught as well get used to it because I ain't coming back.

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                #8
                Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

                When you don't take a drink in Ireland people assume your an alcoholic or there is something wrong with you :H,I know to well its not a laughing matter but its true,The social pressure on non alcohol drinkers here is immense when one goes out,Anyway back to the question everyone around me knew that I had a massive drink problem as I drank in bars never at home,And i would assume that a lot more people know how bad we are/were than we care to admit or acknowledge.Its just not really talked about, espeicially in front of you.


                :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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                  #9
                  Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

                  Ann 221, GREAT!!! I often thought that about the clerks I knew frequently who, when I stopped in for something would also men 'no beer? no cigarrettes?' Guess they thought they were being helpful, huh?
                  sigpic
                  Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                  awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

                    My family didn't know how "bad" I was. They all drink, but moderately. They can have one drink before dinner, and that's it for the night. I rarely drank in their presence, but when I got home I'd have a 12 pack and then some waiting for me, although I'd tell them I was going home to have a "couple". They are aware of my DUI's in the past (10+ years ago), so alcohol is rarely offered to me, much less pressured on me. My drinking was all done at home. I was too cheap to go pay for it at a bar, plus I didn't want to have to worry about how I'd get home. Now that I've quit drinking, I don't think my family realizes what an accomplishment it actually it is for me, because I did keep it hidden. I've mentioned in passing that I am cutting way back (off, actually) and they don't even think twice about it. But no, they do not know of my struggle, or of the stupid stuff I've done while drunk.
                    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                      #11
                      Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

                      No one aside from my wife would have pegged me as an alcoholic, and she really had no idea during the last 4-5 years how much and how often I was drinking. In fact I hid and avoided her as much as I could. Sort of funny to think I was trying to avoid the person I chose to spend the rest of my life with.

                      As far as everyone else, no one knew I was normally drunk most days for 4-5 years. I coached youth baseball and football almost daily, I am in sales and went and saw many customers under the influence, and I never had anyone say, "Dude are you drinking?". So I assume that no one caught on. But I drove around with mouth wash and visine in my car 24/7 and chewed alot of gum and I had a huge tolerence. Now when I let people know I was drinking on weekends or at parties, everyone knew me as a "big drinker", and if you saw me after a long night or a bender you could tell, and I have been known to be the "wildman" and the "life of the party" for 27 years, but I honestly can say that no one would have said, "That guy is an alcoholic". I have a steady job, drive a nice car, live in a nice home in a nice community, I pay my bills and have a great family. It was easy for someone like me to hide my problem. But I am sure that there were times over the period that I was drinking daily that some of the people closest to me had to have an idea. I mean my wife could tell if I had been drinking 1 beer...over the phone. It almost became a game for me to see how far I could push it. I mean I was at a point where I was drinking tall boys driving on the freeway at 7AM to get myself back to normal and thinking "look at the poor guy in the car next to me, he isn't smart enough to figure out how great it is to drink beer instead of coffee to get your day started!" The reality was I was the one trapped in the death spiral unable to quit pouring poison down my throat. I am so grateful that alcohol is no longer a part of my life.

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                        #12
                        Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

                        Wow Supercrew

                        So happy that you "saw the light" . I never drank every day, or in the morning but I could see the writing on the wall. Onr thing that scared me was drinking alone. I would get beer or wine, already have weeg, and just sit here and get a bozz and play my guitars for hours.
                        It was fun but destructive. I have not played yet sober.

                        In the crack days my crack buddy and I would smoke crack and play chess for hours. Not much talking, just smoking and chess. Somehow I saw the light on this and put a stop to the crack after about 6 months. It wasn't hard to stop actually. I gues I'm not wealthy enough to be a crackhead; that shit is expensive!

                        So here I am working from home today-grateful for another day and grateful to have this place to yammer on. In sobriety I'm learning to have more self-respect and to not be such a people-pleaser.

                        Have a great Friday all

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                          #13
                          Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

                          My family knew that I was starting to have a problem with it but thankfully I quit drinking before it got too bad.
                          I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

                          Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

                          Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

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                            #14
                            Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

                            When I told my doctor I was an alcoholic he looked at me like I was crazy! He said he'd give me Naltrexone for a month but "you should try to quit on your own" - like what part of 'I'm an alcoholic' didn't he get? There are lots of alcoholics in my family, and my sister and I talk about our problem drinking a lot as we support each other.

                            As for my social circle, well, they ALL abuse alcohol so they never noticed that I had a problem because they all have the same problem. I'm newly sober but I know the next time there's a neighbourhood party and I don't drink there will be eyebrows raised! I'll just say no thanks. I don't need them to know any specifics about my personal life, and I don't want to embarrass my husband. Why put a label on myself or them. I'd be happy to talk to any of them about their bad drinking habits but only if they are really interested in stopping.

                            I got all brave when I was buying all the amino acids at the health food store where I know the clerk fairly well - I told her I was using them to quit drinking - that I had a problem with alcohol - she looked astonished!!!! So, people, we look so damned normal!!! I think people think alcoholics are all on skid row!!!! But we're everywhere!!!!
                            Ask yourselves, would you rather be a non drinker with an occasional desire to drink or a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it?
                            (quote from Bean )

                            Goal: Survival

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                              #15
                              Does everyone know you are an alcoholic?

                              The funny thing is I think more people might suspect or think I am an alcoholic now that I don't drink at all as opposed to when I was always drunk.

                              I have had people inquire about why I quit, and I don't let them know how bad I got, but I will tell them that I realized drinking just wasn't working for me anymore so I decided to make a change.

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