Shifting Gears
I have been going through another round of changes again here in the last several days. Even at a year and 3 weeks AF, I still have my ?crisis? points. I don?t know what brought this last one on, but I am flowing out of it now, and feel compelled to write a little something about it.
It may have to do with a new technique I recently started called Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT for short. Another member, USAnne wrote that it was a great help to her. It looked quite interesting, and I read through the training manual on it. It said that it worked best on specific events remembered, and I had a boatload of them. Key events in my past life, remembered as far back as 3 years old, which I knew were lodged in my psyche as traumas.
I hammered away on about 5 specific events all at one time, and something happened, most upsetting. It seemed as if I did too much at one time, and it flipped me out something fierce. I was awake for 30 hours I think, because even with supplements, I could not sleep one wink that night. A flood of emotional energy pent up for years, came out of me like a tornado of grief, despair, and anger. (Note to xtexan: Try to take them one at a time in the future!)
So now I am feeling better, on a new level of peace and calm after that storm. One I have not known in quite some time. The technique seems to be very powerful, (I?ll say!), if it is focused on specific key events.
Anyway, the point of this is, that I think the longer you go into sobriety, and the further you explore yourself, and resolve issues, you shift gears. This is a good thing.
Just like in a car, you go so far in one gear, and the engine gets past it?s designed power peak. Then, because you now have momentum, the transmission up-shifts, and your engine slows back down, but you are going the same speed. Now, you can go even faster.
Getting sober to me is a lot like that. I have a theory, that maybe some folks have a relapse, because they never ?shift gears?. By the way, in this case, we are dealing with a manual shift transmission. You have to consciously reach down, push in the clutch to free the engine for a bit, pull and push the shifter to the next gear, and then let the clutch back out again. It?s a metaphor I know, but for me, this is the second go-around I think. I went from first to second I believe back in September when I first joined this forum.
The last couple of weeks have seemed like I was going from second to third. I feel different, more stable, calm, and my engine is revved back down again. How fast can we go? I think that depends how healthy we are. The exercise has its place there. The meditation has its place there. Those are the things that tune the engine. How many speeds does my transmission have? Don?t know, but it will be interesting to find out!!
Be well.
Neil
I have been going through another round of changes again here in the last several days. Even at a year and 3 weeks AF, I still have my ?crisis? points. I don?t know what brought this last one on, but I am flowing out of it now, and feel compelled to write a little something about it.
It may have to do with a new technique I recently started called Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT for short. Another member, USAnne wrote that it was a great help to her. It looked quite interesting, and I read through the training manual on it. It said that it worked best on specific events remembered, and I had a boatload of them. Key events in my past life, remembered as far back as 3 years old, which I knew were lodged in my psyche as traumas.
I hammered away on about 5 specific events all at one time, and something happened, most upsetting. It seemed as if I did too much at one time, and it flipped me out something fierce. I was awake for 30 hours I think, because even with supplements, I could not sleep one wink that night. A flood of emotional energy pent up for years, came out of me like a tornado of grief, despair, and anger. (Note to xtexan: Try to take them one at a time in the future!)
So now I am feeling better, on a new level of peace and calm after that storm. One I have not known in quite some time. The technique seems to be very powerful, (I?ll say!), if it is focused on specific key events.
Anyway, the point of this is, that I think the longer you go into sobriety, and the further you explore yourself, and resolve issues, you shift gears. This is a good thing.
Just like in a car, you go so far in one gear, and the engine gets past it?s designed power peak. Then, because you now have momentum, the transmission up-shifts, and your engine slows back down, but you are going the same speed. Now, you can go even faster.
Getting sober to me is a lot like that. I have a theory, that maybe some folks have a relapse, because they never ?shift gears?. By the way, in this case, we are dealing with a manual shift transmission. You have to consciously reach down, push in the clutch to free the engine for a bit, pull and push the shifter to the next gear, and then let the clutch back out again. It?s a metaphor I know, but for me, this is the second go-around I think. I went from first to second I believe back in September when I first joined this forum.
The last couple of weeks have seemed like I was going from second to third. I feel different, more stable, calm, and my engine is revved back down again. How fast can we go? I think that depends how healthy we are. The exercise has its place there. The meditation has its place there. Those are the things that tune the engine. How many speeds does my transmission have? Don?t know, but it will be interesting to find out!!
Be well.
Neil
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