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It's Day Seven - Hell Heaven !!

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    #1

    It's Day Seven - Hell Heaven !!

    Mostly it's been Heaven

    I have enjoyed:
    Playing with grandbaby while her mother gets sloshed while visiting me...
    Waking up feeling super-dooper with no self-flaggelation
    Having the energy to walk in the woods, jump on the rebounder and do my housework
    Having the presence to really sink my teeth into Eckharte Tolle's books
    Spoiling myself with candy, chips and dessert (this is temporary, I hope)
    Feeling proud and strong

    But Hell is all in the "Voice"

    The voice that:
    Is absolutely convincing me at times that I can drink moderately despite everything I have read here
    Takes over my mind for a few moments and has me actually planning on drinking
    Scares me into worrying what it will be like to never have another drink of wine
    Makes me insecure and afraid that I won't be enough fun anymore and that hubby will find me boring

    So mostly it's great but I tell ya !! The alkie monster is a sly bastard. I have to keep my guard up at all times and ride out the convincing arguments as they enter my brain.
    Tipplerette

    I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

    "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
    ? Lao-Tzu
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    #2
    It's Day Seven - Hell Heaven !!

    You're not alone Tippy... he plays those games with all of us. But you're doing it!!!!
    I'ts delightful to watch your progress!!! Keep it up
    Okay, WHO put a stop payment on my reality check?

    Winning since October 24th, 2013

    Comment

      #3
      It's Day Seven - Hell Heaven !!

      Thanks Sunshine, couldn't do it without you all.

      xoxo
      Tipplerette

      I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

      "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
      ? Lao-Tzu

      Comment

        #4
        It's Day Seven - Hell Heaven !!

        Good going Tips! I heard that damn voice yesterday.
        It can be so pervasive! All the pros of being sober
        outweigh the cons but it's still hard.
        I find that if I let myself slip into feeling sorry for myself
        I'm more vulnerable.
        You are doing great! So good to hear

        Comment

          #5
          It's Day Seven - Hell Heaven !!

          I think an important thing to keep in mind is this: even if you're able to moderate, you still have the constant struggle of trying to control. Until you stop completely you'll be fighting to always maintain. If you never give yourself a chance for long-term sobriety, you'll never know how good it might be. You may much prefer it over the never-ending battle of trying to control your intake. I'd much rather fight an occasional thought about drinking than the daily inner turmoil of drinking. You can't get to the "occasional thought" level until you give yourself the long-term gift of sobriety.

          Comment

            #6
            It's Day Seven - Hell Heaven !!

            Ann 221;1253897 wrote: Good going Tips! I heard that damn voice yesterday.
            It can be so pervasive! All the pros of being sober
            outweigh the cons but it's still hard.
            I find that if I let myself slip into feeling sorry for myself
            I'm more vulnerable.
            You are doing great! So good to hear
            It is hard but most days it's not. When it is it's really hard.
            Keep up your good work too Ann. Following your progress and you gotta be proud.
            Tipplerette

            I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

            "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
            ? Lao-Tzu

            Comment

              #7
              It's Day Seven - Hell Heaven !!

              Unwasted;1253902 wrote: I think an important thing to keep in mind is this: even if you're able to moderate, you still have the constant struggle of trying to control. Until you stop completely you'll be fighting to always maintain. If you never give yourself a chance for long-term sobriety, you'll never know how good it might be. You may much prefer it over the never-ending battle of trying to control your intake. I'd much rather fight an occasional thought about drinking than the daily inner turmoil of drinking. You can't get to the "occasional thought" level until you give yourself the long-term gift of sobriety.
              I know but that decision will come later on when I have been sober for two more months. When I go on vacation for a month camping in Fort Lauderdale this April; that's when I'll decide whether to try to moderate while away and come back to go back on the wagon or whether to continue to abstain. I have to leave that option open right now but hope that when the time comes, I'll make the right decision.
              Tipplerette

              I do this for my children, my grandchildren, my health, my peace of mind, and mostly for the opportunity to learn to live with my true, unfiltered, clear-headed, vulnerable self.

              "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
              ? Lao-Tzu

              Comment

                #8
                It's Day Seven - Hell Heaven !!

                Keep going Tip! I know you can do this... it only gets easier as you start to feel better physically, and it sounds like that is happening already. It is amazing how much easier life becomes without AL.

                boh
                http://www.aahistory.com/days.html

                Round 1 - AF/NF Sept 29, 2011-June 23, 2012

                Round 2 - AF/NF October 6, 2012-December 2012

                Round 3 - AF/NF January 5, 2014 - ????

                Third times a charm!

                Comment

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