I'm just starting the program. I got the supps, the tapes, and the book. I have topamax on order.
I have been cutting back over the last week (now 2-3 drinks a day) and plan to go AF as soon as I get the topa maybe sooner.
So who knows I have a problem? My husband, of course, and my mother-in-law are probably the only one's that really have a clue. I come from a long line of let's-not-talk-about-it-ers. I am a pro at pretending everything is great while secretly dying inside.
I've suffered from depression most of my life, contemplated suicide, and alcohol has been a great, temporary, anti-depressant (depressant). I went to a psychologist for six months and did very well, quit drinking, lost 50lbs, then he pcs'd (military). Went to a new psychologist and after an hour of telling him the root of most of my depression (very personal) he told me he couldn't help me because I'm a military spouse not a soldier, why he couldn't tell me that to start off with, I haven't a clue, but it was extremely humiliating and depressing.
I think I hid in plain sight. Never hid bottles or anything like that, just bought the big vat (box) of wine and put it on the counter. I did become the quick change artist though, pulling out the new box while alone so it looked like the same box. More of the hide in plain sight mentality.
I don't think even my husband knows how much I was drinking. He was worried, and he knew I had wine (every night), but I don't think he could tell anymore when I had too much. I was starting at about 10am and going until 8pm and probably had about 15-20 drinks a day.
I married and divorced two abusive husbands by 22, then married again, started a family, and we are celebrating 15 years this Sunday.
I started drinking when stationed in Germany at 18 (legal drinking age), completely quit when pregnant with both my kids, then started up again shortly after each birth. Now it's 20 yrs later and I need a change.
I have no excuse now, a wonderful husband, two beautiful children, two grumpy dogs...who could ask for more.
Whew! I can't believe I said that out loud.
I have been cutting back over the last week (now 2-3 drinks a day) and plan to go AF as soon as I get the topa maybe sooner.
So who knows I have a problem? My husband, of course, and my mother-in-law are probably the only one's that really have a clue. I come from a long line of let's-not-talk-about-it-ers. I am a pro at pretending everything is great while secretly dying inside.
I've suffered from depression most of my life, contemplated suicide, and alcohol has been a great, temporary, anti-depressant (depressant). I went to a psychologist for six months and did very well, quit drinking, lost 50lbs, then he pcs'd (military). Went to a new psychologist and after an hour of telling him the root of most of my depression (very personal) he told me he couldn't help me because I'm a military spouse not a soldier, why he couldn't tell me that to start off with, I haven't a clue, but it was extremely humiliating and depressing.
I think I hid in plain sight. Never hid bottles or anything like that, just bought the big vat (box) of wine and put it on the counter. I did become the quick change artist though, pulling out the new box while alone so it looked like the same box. More of the hide in plain sight mentality.
I don't think even my husband knows how much I was drinking. He was worried, and he knew I had wine (every night), but I don't think he could tell anymore when I had too much. I was starting at about 10am and going until 8pm and probably had about 15-20 drinks a day.
I married and divorced two abusive husbands by 22, then married again, started a family, and we are celebrating 15 years this Sunday.
I started drinking when stationed in Germany at 18 (legal drinking age), completely quit when pregnant with both my kids, then started up again shortly after each birth. Now it's 20 yrs later and I need a change.
I have no excuse now, a wonderful husband, two beautiful children, two grumpy dogs...who could ask for more.
Whew! I can't believe I said that out loud.
Control the Mind
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