New to moderation

[Nuttmeg]

Hello,

I'm not so new to the board as I am to posting! I started a thread in "starting out", but I think I should maybe post over here since my initial plan will be to moderate as opposed to go AF right away ( thanks again drinkingal!). If I give this a shot and after some time I find it doesn't work for me, then I will know that AL must go 100%.

My story isn't much different than anybody else's, I have had many regretful moments on business trips, at parties or dinners out. Although I never drink in front of my daughter, I do wish I wasn't thinking of drinking as soon as she was down for the night.

So last week I started my attempt at moderation. I was able to go Thursday to Monday without a drink. I did drink a bottle last night after my husband brought it home as he always does on MOnday ( he has no idea I drink as much as I do, nor that I think I have a problem). I was going to have just a glass or two, but my first glas quickly led to the rest of the bottle. I am not upset really over this, I always drank a bottle on MOndays and I just cleared the weekend without a drop!

I am going to try to continue this way, just scale back on the amount I'm taking in every week. The weekly, double binge on Friday and Saturday is my main concern, especially with the secret drinking. I know if I can cut down, it will also hopefully help with my behavior when I am away from home where I tend to get plastered and my decisions become regretful.

[drinkingal]

New to moderation

Hi nuttmeg! glad to see you over here. I've gotta say that is REALLY impressive that you skipped over those 4 bottles over the weekend, :goodjob:
The thing I love about your post is that you are focusing on the positives, I think too many times we aim for perfection right from the get go, and IMO I think we set ourselves up for failure that way. We didn't get into these drinking behaviours overnight so we aren't just going to wake up one day and suddenly everything is different, we have to unlearn some of those behaviours and set some boundaries for ourselves.

[Nuttmeg]

New to moderation

Just wanted to check in, since my embarassing post last week. 3 weeks in and I have had a grand total of 4 bottles of wine! I drank 2 last week, and got pretty drunk, but then went the entire following week without! Easter weekend arrived, and I had a bottle yesterday while company was over. I wasn't sloppy drunk, and I stopped after that bottle. I know most moderators only have a few drinks, but the way I had been drinking previously, I think this is going ok so far. Some days are harder than others, he'll, someways I don't evene think about drinking while others I have to talk myself out of NOT drinking. But I feel pretty good tonight, a little extra tired from yesterday. So here's to making it another week without over doing it too badly!

[Nuttmeg]

New to moderation

Just a quick update, I don't feel comfortable posting anyplace else really. But I have to share this with somebody! I just went a full week without drinking, first time in... I don't know, years if you don't count being sick! I cleared a weekend and the usual drinking Monday both this time. Cutting down feels great, I woke up this morning listening to the birds and thought how nice it was as opposed to being woken by them in the past and thinking how loud they were!

[ToMyHealth]

New to moderation

Hey, Nuttmeg, you can be very proud - wonderful progress. You're certainly into Harm Reduction. Yes, mod thread is where you want to be, at least for now.

I so identify about the birds, know I'm either depressed or more than likely hungover when the birds irritate me. And isn't it amazing how different coffee tastes after an AF day, at least for me. Enjoying it this am.

Keep up the good work! :goodjob:

TMH

[BBGirl]

New to moderation

Not quite sure what or how to post? . .. I have drank off and on and I want to continue to drink, but not as much. I have been a social drinker but then I moved in with someone and started drinking a bottle of wine a night to distance myself. After moving out, it was not as bad but I still drank almost every night. I went through some serious trauma before I started to drink this much and I just started going to a therapist because I realized I was not able to figure it out on my own, even though the trauma was about four years ago.
I enjoy my drinks, I work in the music world, and love to be social but I do not want to drink "every" night. It is how I unwind and truth is I enjoy it. But- I don't want to drink to the extent that I could be ashamed if someone really knew how much I drink. Most of it I do at home alone. My loveds ones know I drink, but probably not as much as I do. Some nights I do better and have just three beers, but then I seemed to get loaded the next night because of my cravings. With my band I have drank more during the day because I am at home chilling and on a different schedule, but then that leads into later drinking to unwind. THere is ALOT of free time for drinks. I do not feel totally centered and just want to get me back, and lose my gut! lol
I still want to go out and socially drink etc. I just don't want to rely on alchohol every night to get me through things, unwind, etc. I am hoping through educating myself it will give me more understanding, tools, and motivation. I have never been the hardcore drinking type, so when I start to drink like this it makes me go "Whoa, that's not you!" - and that I"m grateful for. So, any good advice, motivation, etc. would be great. I am VERY cravings based, so thats the one thing I am worried about. Plus I live at home by myself. So, that makes it super easy to just drink (no one knows ) I am just starting out today to really try to cut back. I started the drink tracker also. Say a prayer for me if you would. I love myself and life and just want to get my feet back under me and be as healthy as I can be.

[mightymite]

New to moderation

Welcome BB. :welcome: I can understand you wanting to cut down on drinking. I came on here too but started off being AF for 21 days and then decided that I really didn't want to stop totally and just wanted to cut down and mod. I would recommend reading the Tool Box found under Monthly Abstinence. I found that to be very helpful. I also set up my own tool box and refer to it from time to time when I am feeling like things are slipping away from me. Plus it helps to just read, read and read on here. I found that reading about others successes has helped as well. If you are concerned about your cravings you may want to look under the meds section. I know many take supplements for their cravings. I can't help you there because I don't take anything but you could read about it. I am sure it is very difficult being in the music business and trying to keep your drinking down to a minimum. You may want to post on here regularly. It has helped me to be accountable to myself, especially if you live alone as it would be easy to just drink every night. Good luck. You may want to post under April Modders under the long term mod section. There is a bit more activity there. Not much lately but a few of us are still around and tend to post under that thread. You sound very positive and sure of what you want. I think you will do just fine.

:goodjob: nutmeg! Way to go. Keep it up. Yes the birds are a lovely thing to hear in the morning when you are feeling good. Starts the day off on the right foot and yes the coffee does taste better.
MM

[Nuttmeg]

New to moderation

Coffee! That's another thing, having coffee in the morning for the taste and not for the caffeine wake up!

[BBGirl]

New to moderation

Thank you ~

Thank you Mighty Mite- It means alot to have someone show interest and of course it is VERY important to have it in a "non-condemning" Fashion. I have quit smoking, so I know I can do this. I have just NEVER been soo used to something for relaxtion. It has become a routine that when I get home for the day whether it be 4PM or 11PM that most of the time I will have a drink to relax and enjoy my evening. No big deal when I work till 11PM and have one or two. But when I get done early and I start in the afternoon and have 4-6 by the time I go to bed to maintain my relaxed buzz . . . . that's probably not that great lol I usually do not get trashed drunk. I hate to lose control. I just like to relax. So, I waited until later today to have my first (a couple of hours or so later). I had some beers instead of wine (not as much alcohol) and then I even had several hours tonight where I was sober and NOT with a relaxed buzz (but still felt good - I am also slowly reducing my intake. I have NEVER been able to quit ANYTHING cold turkey but I am excited for this. I have thought for a while I should cut back but have been really getting my life together lately and it means alot to me I'll even check out that other section you recommended. Thanx*

[Eve11]

New to moderation

Hi Nuttmeg and BBGirl,
Welcome to the mod board. I've been a long time member here but tend to post so much less now as I am so busy and doing relatively well with modding. However, want to be available as we all need support. The AFers tend to get more support from each other IMO as most of them post regularly and really form an online bond. We have the same here but maybe not as strong as we're more sporadic with our comings and goings. Glad to see you were greeted by TMH and hope to get to know more about you both. It is all about harm reduction here so no matter how much you were/are drinking, just those baby steps to drink less is wonderful. So...:welcome: and
:goodjob:

:l
Eve11

[Nuttmeg]

New to moderation

Hello, my kinda-weekly check in. I'm still doing good, though I did drink a lot on friday. My husband was having friends over, and for whatever reason I stopped off on the way home and bought a bottle. Well, I know why I did.... The night was going to be a lot of men talking, carrying on, etc and... I don't know, I told myself I needed some wine as backup in case he didn't get any? I kept that in my bag, and he did buy me some wine when he bought beer for his friends and I never mentioned the bottle I bought for myself. I knew right there I was going to drink both bottles that night (in hind site). So when his friends arrived I went upstairs and opened both, poured the first glass from his and then refilled from the purse bottle until it was empty. Plus, I drank those pretty fast to make sure I could get all of that bottle before moving on. Needless to say, I was pretty loaded, but he never knew since by the time they left, it was pretty late and he Told me saturday that he had a slight drunk on. At least he hasn't said he noticed how drunk I was...

I quickly have fallen back into my secret methods of drinking two, but making it look like one. This is the behavior I want to stop, I have cut down dramatically how often I drink, how much I drink, the work drinking and the parking lot before home drinking. But the 2-bottle binge is not something I want to do, it's not even like I was at a wedding or party... Just me upstairs, men downstairs and 2 bottles of wine. I am not discouraged in the slightest, I think I'm doing good still. And I would rather exhibit this behavior alone at home than at a work function, traveling on business or around friends. hopefully after too. But little goals are better than big ones that I can't achieve right now.

[rebirth]

New to moderation

Hi Nutmeg,

Little goals are definitely better than big ones. Its great how you have cut down on your drinking and you seem determined enough to sort out the next step.

I would love to run a 5k but only mange 2.2k so far. Hence why I try and moderate my drinking cause it saps your energy.

[Nuttmeg]

New to moderation

rebirth;1304868 wrote: Hi Nutmeg,

Little goals are definitely better than big ones. Its great how you have cut down on your drinking and you seem determined enough to sort out the next step.

I would love to run a 5k but only mange 2.2k so far. Hence why I try and moderate my drinking cause it saps your energy.

Thanks Rebirth! This is really hard, but you and DG make it seem to me like not only is it possible to mod, but you don't make me feel like a sh1t for my not-too-distant drinking habits, or my desire to not just go AF and try to curb it back down.

Plus, from the amount of exercise you are doing, you will be up to 5k in about a month I bet!

[drinkingal]

New to moderation

Hi Nuttmeg, I really agree with rebirth about small steps. I find with anything like diet etc, If I jump in and try to make big changes the novelty wears off and I go back to old habits. If I make small changes and allow myself to get used to them, I can sustain them and that's the way it has been with alcohol for me too. I've just tapered down gradually that there was never a "oh this feels too hard" moment. You do get used to drinking a bit less at a time and your al tolerance starts to drop too so you end up over time drinking much less and still getting pretty buzzed, even pretty drunk initially on less al. I honestly can not remember the last time I stumbled off to bed to pass out, that used to be normal for me to do every night but now it just seems like something I just can't imagine even wanting to do now. You do have a really good advantage in that you don't drink daily so really, if you can gradually taper down at a comfortable level, you will get there but don't look at the end game, focus on where you are at now, and what the next step is and just focus on that.

[Stewarts]

New to moderation

Running

Nuttmeg;1304811 wrote:
I quickly have fallen back into my secret methods of drinking two, but making it look like one. This is the behavior I want to stop, I have cut down dramatically how often I drink, how much I drink, the work drinking and the parking lot before home drinking. But the 2-bottle binge is not something I want to do, it's not even like I was at a wedding or party... Just me upstairs, daughter in bed, men downstairs and 2 bottles of wine. I am not discouraged in the slightest, I think I'm doing good still. And I would rather exhibit this behavior alone at home than at a work function, traveling on business or around friends. But I am going away alone next week to run a obstacle course 5k, my plan is to stay dry till the race, hopefully after too. But little goals are better than big ones that I can't achieve right now.

Good luck with the 5K! Running is really good to get you on track. I am actually training for my 5th marathon (you'll get to that sooner than you think...if you want :-) )

I like your thread, your realistic with your goals and honest with yourself.

I wouldn't say I'm necessarily new to moderation, I've been having some success with it, but every couple of weeks or so, I have a night (like last night) when I get disappointed in myself and drink more than I should've. The good news, I don't do anything crazy anymore when I'm drunk, like when I was younger (37 now), I'm in a quite content mood while drinking. I have problems with anxiety and depression (recently divorced). I don't really get real bad hangovers, usually, from drinking too much, I'll get anxiety and depression the next day.

I didn't get super crazy last night, but definitely drank over the limit that I would've liked on a Wendesday night, a buddy and I were at a show.

I'd actually like to completely stop, but I'm not seeing that to be realistic right now. I can go out and have one beer - I did that Tuesday night. I'd really like to fine tune my moderation skills for now. I'm thinking about doing a 30 (as I go off to VEGAS!! - I actually have family out there, my Vegas trips are tame if you could believe it).

I think we appear to have similiar issues in that we like to drink, or find ourselves drinking when we're out, socially. That is one of my biggest triggers, old friends, music and sports - playing or watching. I find the only time I feel really content is when I am in my apartment all by myself...I know there's nothing around to tempt to do anything. I said content, not happy - I don't want to spend all my days as a recluse.

Good luck to you, perhaps we can swap ideas...