Thursday 8th February

[mikeupnorth]

Hello all,

I don't have anything in particular to post, or anything profound on my mind, but I thought I'd start a new thread for today so we'd all have a place to post.

I'm out of town on business right now, and among several big-wigs from the institution I work for. It's interesting now to sit back and see all the games and politics being played.... it's also interesting to see how much "social" drinking happens. And my reaction? Disgust. Honestly, I see them having their "fun" and I see through its chemical facade... they're not having fun, really. They're just using alcohol as a crutch because they're too unsure of themselves to relax with other people without some chemical help. The flushed skin, the boozy breath, the slightly slurred speech by the end of the night -- these very powerful people are indeed very insecure if they need alcohol to "loosen up" or have fun. (And I'm again reminded of the fact that drunkenness, even mild drunkenness, is NOT an attractive sight.)

And last night, with dinner, my boss had two pints of beer. No big deal. That's moderation by anyone's standards, I imagine. But ya know, I didn't even envy him. In the past, any time I've quit, I would have envied him because of his ability to drink moderately. I would have sat there, secretly longing for a drink, and trying to figure out how I could fix myself so that I could somehow, someday do the same. This time he ordered a beer, I ordered a Diet Coke, and the evening went on without any further mention or thought of alcohol. The reason I mention this now is that looking back on it, I think, WOW -- I didn't envy his having that beer. It didn't look good to me and it didn't bother me in the least. I guess that means that on some level I'm accepting the fact that I'm a NON-drinker and just moving past it.

Anyhoo -- I'm far from cured, but I'm glad that I've been able to change my mind about alcohol this time around. That has been the key for me. It's really hard to stay sober if half of you really still wants to drink.

Hope y'all have a good day

Mike

[Java]

Thursday 8th February

Thanks Mike, I really liked your post.

Victoria

[Rocky]

Thursday 8th February

Mike

Great to hear your musings on your journey away from the crutch of Alcohol, very interesting and helpful.

Safe travels my friend.

[xtexan]

Thursday 8th February

Hey Mike:

Glad to see you have been making those psychological strides. That one is a key. Maybe that hypnosis is making more of a difference on that deep level. Not to credit the therapist for that, as it is you that actually makes the internal shifts and changes.

Old drinking Neil tried a new trick in the last few days. Something about stress, nerves, and sleep. Something about missing that "good" old deep relief. I, sober Neil, thought "Is that the best you can come up with these days?"

Sheesh. I thought I had to give him more credit than that.

All is well today. Looking forward to some time on the bike this evening.

Gotta go.

Neil

[sammys]

Thursday 8th February

Hey Mike I really liked your post and yes drinking with professional colleagues is so weird. I am happy for you. You are doing really good.


Sammys

[capto]

Thursday 8th February

Good work, Mike.

Your close has to be up there in one of the great MYO observations:
>>That has been the key for me. It's really hard to stay sober if half of you really still wants to drink.

[dorilynn]

Thursday 8th February

Wow Mike and Kate! Great for you two for the realizations you have made! You are both definitely on to a better place I am certain! I could relate to what you each said and found it inspiring that you have "been there, done that" and now you can look back on it with clarity and go forward with integrity! WAY TO GO! This gives me the support I need heading into the weekend - I have a 50th birthday dinner party with 8 couples, most of whom I have been drinking with for many years. Thankfully, there is one recovering, and two abstaining, and I've made it known to the hostess that I'm going alcohol free for a while and she herself is too! But reading how you guys conquered your demons in a drinking environment is of GREAT support to me - thank you for sharing! Dori:thanks:

[Flip]

Thursday 8th February

oh dear Mike, don't you know I am so much prettier, slimmer, wittier and smarter when I've had a few drinks??? well, that's what I used to think. :-)

Now I know I was just making an ass of myself.

i'm moving in to the "I'm a non-drinker" zone too, just like I moved into the "Im a non-smoker" a few years back. Damn it's a wonderful place to be. But, in the same way I know I can never pick up another ciggarette, I am working on the mind set that I can NEVER pick up another drink... these things are slow....

how is the new start in the new house with no associations going? Do you think it's working?

[mikeupnorth]

Thursday 8th February

Thanks, everyone, for your posts.... I learn daily from your insights.

Dori, I wanted to say a special hello to you and good luck on the 50th birthday party!

And Flip -- it is great to be living in a place where I have no memories of drinking, no associations of having been hung over or drunk. It was very strange to empty out the old apartment and leave it for the last time.... I walked through each empty room and envisioned events from the past, and sort of said goodbye and let go of the past, and then I shut the door on it, locked it, and turned in my keys. Of course I could very easily screw up and make some new bad memories in my new home but I hope and pray I never get in the frame of mind where taking a drink seems like a good idea...