Question about telephone support

[sunshine_gg]

Hey guys,
I'm a bit uncertain about how to respond to a member here... I had offered my telephone number to call before doing anything stupid (there had been talk of suicide). Last night, the phone rang at 1:15am and Mr. Wonderful answered the call. He declined waking me up (mind you, I heard the phone and got up later, anyway) and was proclaimed an asshole.

It is to be expected that a call for help or support/advice may be made while intoxicated, it is also conceivable that time differences may be overlooked. But I really don't want to put my partner in a position where he has to take abuse.

So, my question is: Does it come with the territory? Is this something you have to expect when you give out your number? Have you had any experiences?

[FlyAway]

Question about telephone support

Oh my gosh how incredibly rude! It was very generous of you to give your phone number to someone in need. But that was over the line and uncalled for. Of course you never know what you're going to get when someone is drunk. I have no experience with this because I haven't given my number out to anyone and I wouldn't unless it was someone that I knew well. I hope they don't call back in the middle of the night again.

[stirly-girly]

Question about telephone support

I got a member's number once and called them because there was talk of suicide as well. It never occurred to me until after, that they would have my number and could call at any time, day or night. As it happens, I called the same person again several times and they had listed my name and number on their phone and knew it was me when I called. I just hoped that the person would never get drunk in the middle of the night my time and call and wake us up or even not drunk, call asking for help because I would have had a hard time not talking to them and I would have felt bad. I would have also been upset that Mr. Stirly would have been wakened up by the call. Luckily, the person never called me. However, when you give your number to someone, you do risk the chance that they will call at some inappropriate hour, like the middle of the night or very early in the morning. Sunny-bean, you're not an a**hole for wanting to reach out and help someone, but we do take chances by giving someone our number. And, if the phone the caller calls from is checked for outgoing calls by a family member, and our number comes up, our anonymity is blown. It is as easy as pie to check who a phone number belongs to in many countries of the world. Unfortunately, it's all right there on the web. All you have to do is know the right place to look....

[JackieClaire]

Question about telephone support

Crikey, GG.

There's a few here have got my landline number and a few more have my cell phone number. I suppose it goes with the territory.

Saying that the only time I've been drunk dialled has been on my cell phone and after a couple of times I asked the person to text me first so I could ring them back. I very, very occasionally still get a call but I now let it go to voice mail and ring them back when I know that person will be sober as I know I'd get more sense out of Black Bess than talking to them at the time.

Don't know if you could them to do the same. It is a very tricky situation to be put in.

[sunshine_gg]

Question about telephone support

Thank you for your thoughts, guys :l

Stirly, I'm not that concerned with anonymity.. I'm easy to find if anyone is really looking. And, I never spoke to the caller last night... it was Mr. Wonderful who was being called an asshole - for not getting me up, I presume.

I guess what also worries me a bit is that I may not be equipped to actually 'help'. I can have a pretty short temper if attacked and a rash reaction may be the very thing to send someone who isn't thinking straight over the edge?

[techie]

Question about telephone support

Hi gg. Sorry you had to experience that. I like the way Jackie Claire handled her situation. While I too like to be supportive, some individuals can take advantage of me or my family. I think we all need to be mindful of how others can add unneeded stress to our lives, and possibly loosen the underpinnings of our own sobriety.

I will help anyone anytime, but I will not allow someone being abusive and taking advantage. As many of us struggle to find that balance in our lives, I think its important to look at the whatifs. What if it was your child that answered that call. What if it was a friend or relative.

I went through many months of dealing with an employee I had to fire due to substance abuse and poor performance. This individual harassed me and my family. While I did have his number blocked, he continued to call my home for several until he was arrested.

I hope I don't sound over-the-top here but we ALL need to protect ourselvs and loved ones!

Techie xxx

[sunshine_gg]

Question about telephone support

:H All of them thar technically advanced folk here!

I do like JC's way of handling phone calls, too... however, I live in the woods. There's no 'texting' and whatnots :H And, I guess I'm a sucker for middle of the night calls... they're never good. I'm always afraid it's my dad (overseas), or one of the kids in trouble. That's what got me up last night, too.

But you're right, Techie... I never even considered MWO calls affecting my family (don't have to worry about kids anymore) until now. Yikes on your employee. What is wrong with people?

[Kaslo]

Question about telephone support

Hi Sunbutt, you are a kind and generous person to offer your phone number, and I am sorry Mr. W was met with obnoxiousness. Some of us dont even tell our sig others that we are on this site!

This is a good question you have asked tho....am I qualified to talk to a potential suicide, and I have to say very few of us are. I know suicide hotline people usually get quite a bit of training and have ways of getting preventative information out of the potential victim as well as tips on how to talk them down.

I wish there was a way that any potential suicides are automatically referred to a hotline here.

Every suicide is a bit differnt, and I dont think you can really generalize. In the emotional preparation for suicide, some people are very secretive and cryptic, some only let vague indications out to people they know will not stop them, and some are doing various things to draw attention to themselves and to set up a way of taking some kind of action that will then be circumvented.

I think you are very right to worry that you may not be able to be of assistance to a suicidal person especially if they are drunk. There are some suicides who plan to drink then kill themselves, and some that drink, and threaten or take action when drunk. And lots of things in between.

When someone was on here threatening suicide about a month ago, there were various helpful, somwhat lengthy posts, but the person who was most on the money in my view was Guitar Man who immediately provided a number of international and national suicide hotlines and a short on point message....I was very impressed with that.

I am one person who wishes I saw the signs, was more knowledgeable about prevention, etc.

Kaslo