I always give my future self way too much credit when it comes to remembering passwords.
We can talk to astronauts in space, but we can?t get phone reception inside elevators.
What if that light at the end of the tunnel you see when you die is just you being born from another vagina?
It?s extremely frustrating when you spell a word so incorrectly that even spell check isn?t able to help you out.
The good part about reuniting with an ex is that having sex with them doesn?t change the number of people I?ve slept with.
I hate that awkward couple of seconds after you?re give a free sample and you try to appear interested out of politeness even though there is no way you?re buying that product.
Apparently companies can now effectively use ?talk to a real person? as a selling point.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why are there no hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
Why is it that 98.6 degree weather feels so unbearably hot? Shouldn?t that feel just right?
I don?t know what my neighbor?s name is and we?ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
I mentally correct people?s grammar when they?re talking.
When I turn on my blinker, I?m not asking permission ? I?m warning you.
If I could somehow find a way to bottle the feeling you had on the morning of ?field trip day? in elementary school, I would be a freaking billionaire.
To the dude who flipped me off in the Starbucks parking lot for honking at him before taking off line a maniac?You left your breakfast and coffee on top of your car.
Usually I don?t like to think before I speak?.I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
If men bled out of their penises every month, I am pretty sure they would be bitchy, too.
I love taking showers, I spend at least 30 minutes in there, but it only takes about five to wash myself. The rest of the time I?m winning imaginary arguments and contemplating the meaning of life.
We were on the same page, but reading different books.
Even when I?m home alone, I still answer Jeopardy questions out loud.
We can talk to astronauts in space, but we can?t get phone reception inside elevators.
What if that light at the end of the tunnel you see when you die is just you being born from another vagina?
It?s extremely frustrating when you spell a word so incorrectly that even spell check isn?t able to help you out.
The good part about reuniting with an ex is that having sex with them doesn?t change the number of people I?ve slept with.
I hate that awkward couple of seconds after you?re give a free sample and you try to appear interested out of politeness even though there is no way you?re buying that product.
Apparently companies can now effectively use ?talk to a real person? as a selling point.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why are there no hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
Why is it that 98.6 degree weather feels so unbearably hot? Shouldn?t that feel just right?
I don?t know what my neighbor?s name is and we?ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
I mentally correct people?s grammar when they?re talking.
When I turn on my blinker, I?m not asking permission ? I?m warning you.
If I could somehow find a way to bottle the feeling you had on the morning of ?field trip day? in elementary school, I would be a freaking billionaire.
To the dude who flipped me off in the Starbucks parking lot for honking at him before taking off line a maniac?You left your breakfast and coffee on top of your car.
Usually I don?t like to think before I speak?.I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.
If men bled out of their penises every month, I am pretty sure they would be bitchy, too.
I love taking showers, I spend at least 30 minutes in there, but it only takes about five to wash myself. The rest of the time I?m winning imaginary arguments and contemplating the meaning of life.
We were on the same page, but reading different books.
Even when I?m home alone, I still answer Jeopardy questions out loud.
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
Comment