can't sleep

[optimist]

Hello out there!
Up again at 3:00 am - no problem getting to sleep (even without the wine) but I wake up and then the anxiety sets in - usually for good reason. Tomorrow I go back to work (I think) - I don't know if I lost my job because I missed work because of drinking - I guess I would let me go if I were the boss. It's not just that we need the money - it's that I have once again disappointed people (especially myself).
I almost died from drinking last year - my liver completely shut down and I had an internal bleed. Thank God for the people at the E>R> - They had to drain my stomach of blood and replace my blood twice. I was in the hospital for 10 days. I had a relatively quick recovery - within 3 months my liver numbers were back in the normal range. I am stronger than I have been in years and very much aware that I almost died.
I (probably like most of you) live in a drinking society. Everyone I know drinks and it is a comfort zone when we (wonderful husband and I) get together with friends and family. You know - that's when you can relax. So - you guessed it - I started again - but only a little at first. So here I am eight months later awake and wanting a glass of wine. I could and did drink all day.
I saw the family doctor last week. My liver numbers are going up but nothing to panic about and she recommended Topamax. That's how I found My Way. I was looking for information on side effects and found this site with people I can relate to. Thanks - I'll call the doctor tomorrow and get that prescription. I'm hoping this will let me focus on other than wine. If it was in the house - I'd be drinking it.
Oh, by the way, I'm not good on finding my way through web sites so let me know if I don't quite get something right. I'm looking forward to some feedback.
Hope you all sleep well!

[Sue Can Do]

can't sleep

Hi and Wow,

What a lucky woman you are. I guess you always expect those types of things to happen to other people, i've heard the warnings and seen the signs but alcohol is a powerful drug and it is very tricky. Hope you continue on your path to recovery, my journey has just begun.

Take Care Sue

PS: Having a little trouble navigating aroung the site, computers arent my strong point.

[Changeling]

can't sleep

Welcome Optimist

I am so glad you have found your way here.
You will find much information and support here.

It sounds like you have really been through the mill with this drinking, but have finaly reached a point where you want to change. That is the most important thing, reaching that point.

I undersatand totally what you are saying about living in a culture where everyone is drinking. I am in the same place myself. BUT - for me it ceased to be glamorous, sociable or chic - I was just Drunk and thats ugly. I am on day 47 AF today - with the support of everyone here.

Keep coming here, reading all the posts, reading all the books recomended and the world can be a very different place.
Best wishes on your journey
Changeling

[Olly]

can't sleep

Hi Optimist,
Welcome. Wow, how nice to hear that a doctor out there actually suggested Topamax (and hence referred you here) So many folks here have a struggle to get their doc to perscribe. Anyway, you mentioned that you're learning the ropes with the internet site? Well, if you don't know already, every time you log on here you can click on "community" and then scroll down and click on "New Posts" in the dark blue toolbar. That will show you all the new posts since the last time you were here. Took me a while to figure that out and boy does it make life easier. Glad you're here.
take care, Olly

[Diana]

can't sleep

Hi Optimist,
Welcome and happy to see you on this site. You will get all the help that you need here. I used to wake up at 3am after drinking heavily in the evening and I still do sometimes but usually go back to sleep with the help of relaxation music or the subliminal CD. Have not felt so well for a long time and life is good. When you get that feeling you will want to hang on to it.

Best wishes and we are here for you

Diana

[Lou]

can't sleep

Hello Optimist

I too have been hospitalised, alltho not as severe as your self...i was told i have the liver of a 60 year old...I'm 29!!! Thankfully our bodies have the amazing ability to heal themselves...given time and obviously lack of the poison (alcohol) that we put in to our systems.
I am on day 38 AF and I'm still not sleeping well at all, i guess its just a case of perseverance...i try to think of it as.."my body and mind can only go so long without enough sleep...it will have to give in eventually" i cant wait for that to happen but until then i just have to put up with it. sleep deprivation can only last so long.

Good luck to you

Lou-Lou x x x

[Ezra Pound Dog]

can't sleep

What to do at night? Any suggestions to make the brain stop? Television doesn't work. I try to read some thing until my eyes droop and then will fall asleep. I have been waking around two o'clock in the morning for about 8 years, sometimes its easy to get back to sleep and some times not. My sister never drinks and has the same problem, I always thought it was the alcohol. but Im 53...today! and she is 61 so perhaps its a matter of getting older. I know or rather think that excersize makes sleep a bit easier as long as you do it in the day. once I went for an evening swim at 8 PM and was so hyped when I got home I couldn't get to sleep for hours. does any one else either have the problem or has found some great solutions meditaion.... well then there is the obvious one.
EZ

[tea]

can't sleep

Universal Hug

Big Universal Hug to you, thought I wrote that one without the serious illness! Thanks so much for sharing that, it really meant something to me. xx Lorna

[tea]

can't sleep

Naughty naughty Ezra, the obvious one is not open to us.............. yes I am with you in the wee small hours, all I can think of to do is sit up in bed reading - ho hum!! BUT at least we wake up sober!! well that is the idea anyway. Do you wake up sober and thank the higher power? I do and it makes ME FEEL GOOD. Just know you are not alone and lets think of each other this morning eh!

Lorna x

[Ezra Pound Dog]

can't sleep

I don't work with the higher power hting but I do do my morning pages and I am spiritual in many other ways. It so good being sober, aand in just two weeks my liver function has improved from 174 down to 107 and it is supposed to be below 50, I am psyched!!!!
Ive been readingnthe rational recovery book as well to help me a long. they are on the net as well. Ive been waking up happy now ! Used to immediately regret the night before beat myself up and I don't have to do that any more
love to all
EZ

[optimist]

can't sleep

Good morning all,
Thanks for your support. Happy to tell you I didn't lose my job (what a relief). I started on the Topamax last night and slept pretty well. Feel good today. Got lots to do.
Take care!

[optimist]

can't sleep

Hello again all - It's great to read all the encouraging words,especially laced with a sense of humor. Did not lose my job - still no wine - first dose of Topomax last night. I actually managed to sleep with only one interruption and then right back to sleep. Course, it might have been exhaustion. Very glad to have found this site - I'll be back.
Optimist

[optimist]

can't sleep

feeling better

Hello out there,
Very very glad to find this site and receive your support (especially laced with little bit of humor). I did not lose my job (yeah!) Took my first dose of Topamax and was only up once during the night and then right back to sleep. It's still hard for me to believe that I found a "real people" place. I'll be back.
"Still an" Optimist:thanks: