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Daya
May 17th, 2012, 04:16 AM
Well, my partner and i are at our farm...its really cold , we have a fire blazing, and the red is calling to me....daya....daya....come to me....

Argh.i will not do this. have taken all the MWO suplements....

i was going to ramble on about a theory i have about addiction only existing in the future, as it predominatly resides in the mind, which never really exists in the now, only the past and future...but am distracted....

Marshy
May 17th, 2012, 05:19 AM
Hi Daya,

Can you talk to your partner to get his/her support, including not having alcohol in the house so it's readily available?

Daya
May 17th, 2012, 05:51 AM
We have talked and talked about this, Marshy...he will not stop bringing booze home.

In the 15 years we have been together, he has never, ever, not drunk in the evening, including checking himself out of hospital after a major operation, so he can drink. He is very loving , caring and supportive, in every other way.

I gave up drugs whilst being surrounded by them...I hope to be able to do this also.

Actually i just discovered a yummy AF drink, tonic water , grape juice, and a twist of lime:)


Marshy;1317868 wrote: Hi Daya,

Can you talk to your partner to get his/her support, including not having alcohol in the house so it's readily available?

retteacher
May 17th, 2012, 05:55 AM
daya: Can you distract yourself? Call someone. Do something. Every time you resist the temptation to drink, your brain readjusts. When you drink, your brain gets that groove even deeper than before. When I'm tempted, I try to remember the last time I got really drunk. It was disgusting, upsetting to my family, & humiliating for me. When I'm tempted, I try to remember the havoc alcohol played in my life, from blackouts to vomiting to passing out. None of it was fun or pretty. Do anything: call a friend, get involved in something, just don't drink. Mary

retteacher
May 17th, 2012, 05:58 AM
We have alcohol in the house for when we have friends in. We keep it out of sight, & after 3 years of sobriety, it no longer bothers me. I don't have open wine bottles in the fridge, but we do have bottles down the basement. I've even heardof recovering alcoholics who are bartenders & have to handle it on a daily basis. So, keep the focus on yourself & your sobriety. You can do it. Mary

Daya
May 17th, 2012, 06:05 AM
hi Mary, the urge seems to have passed...was pretty strong for a while, the old mind tricks doing their thing, whispering" go on..one wont hurt" the usual blather.

I tried to keep in my mind a feeling, inspiration I had today, that i am incredibly grateful for experiencing this addiction/ compulsion.. It has truly humbled me, and in a strange way, made me a better person.

I agree Mary, I have to get over it whilst its in the house, as i actually have no other choice.

Thanks for the support guys, posting here instead of reaching for the booze is really helping.



retteacher;1317877 wrote: We have alcohol in the house for when we have friends in. We keep it out of sight, & after 3 years of sobriety, it no longer bothers me. I don't have open wine bottles in the fridge, but we do have bottles down the basement. I've even heardof recovering alcoholics who are bartenders & have to handle it on a daily basis. So, keep the focus on yourself & your sobriety. You can do it. Mary

retteacher
May 17th, 2012, 06:21 AM
daya: I'm glad the compulsion passed. Definitely reaching out to other alcoholics is a help. After years & years of struggling w/relapsing, I finally joined AA 3 years ago. I needed the face-to-face contact w/other alcoholics, though I do still come to MWO every day. For me, alcoholism is cunning, baffling, & powerful. I cannot let a single thought of drinking into my mind. I would start to tell myself that I might be able to have "just one." That is not possible for me. Once I start, I cannot stop. I do not have an "off" switch.

I've heard many people in AA say they are grateful for their alcoholism. It has made them better, more spiritual people in the long run. I think that is true of me.

Take care of yourself. Your partner is his/her own person. You have perfect control over yourself. Do what is right for you.

mary

Marshy
May 17th, 2012, 06:36 AM
Daya;1317879 wrote: I have to get over it whilst its in the house, as i actually have no other choice.

I suppose that's true given your situation. Must be tough, though, I'm not sure I could have done it that way. I was living by myself when I stopped and some people think that's difficult. Swings and roundabouts...

Anyway, good to hear the urge passed. It does, even though sometimes it seems it never will. Have you read about urge surfing? That helped me sometimes. I think there's something about it in the toolbox thread.

Are you finding it harder or easier than giving up drugs? Just curious...

daisy45
May 17th, 2012, 06:42 PM
Well done Daya, for not giving in and also for having the sense to come here in a time of need. I have struggled and given in so many times but never came here mid-urge, so to speak. More fool me!
I have seen quite a few who do and it works. You'll be so much stronger for this. All the best.....

daffodil1003
May 18th, 2012, 09:55 PM
Marshy;1317868 wrote: Hi Daya,

Can you talk to your partner to get his/her support, including not having alcohol in the house so it's readily available?

I don't understand question

Daya
May 23rd, 2012, 05:44 AM
Well caved the other night

And last night. So back here "urge surfing"

My partner asked me yesterday, what are all the gold stars on the calender? i said, they are the nights i dont drink. On the nights i have had 1 wine, i've put half a star.

He seemed suprised.....

Anyway, nohing new, still feel fat and gross.....

I supose that there are a fair few stars now is good...

Daya
May 23rd, 2012, 05:59 AM
Hi Marshy

belated reply...I am finding it much, much harder to give up booze than drugs. I was a heroin addict before i had my son, and luckily got really sick, and ended up in hospital...so that was an enforced withdrawal.

Then I didn't take any drugs, or drink (I took ever drug known to man as a teenager, but never drank) for a long long time after my son was born. he was brought up with me sober, and drug free. When he was about 18, I got involved in an industry that takes cocaine like its a cup of tea, ended up addicted to that for about 7 years. Really battled it also. Anyway, I had a defining moment one night, I had been working on a clay sculpture, as a present for my partner, i was at a party, and was offered some coke. I looked at it, and though t"if I take that, the consequences will be predictable,I'll go out, party all night, do all sorts of things I will hate myself for, and wont do my sculpture.

So I said no thanks. And that was pretty much it. I wasn't tempted to take it again, was still surrounded by it. I actually told my partner that it was me or the drug. he gave up a 30 year habit. I had some about 3 years ago, and instantly wondered why, I hated it, and have not been tempted once, and i am still around it.

Its funny, I still know all the people I used to party with, they just understand not to offer it, as i cant be bothered to take it. Its just not in my reality. I have forgotten all about it.

I developed a drinking problem when i got with my partner, i was very much an occasional social drinker before then, hated getting drunk, so didn't really drink. I never had alcohol in the house, it wasn't something I thought about . My partner has always drank....


I am hoping and praying I can get to this stage with alcohol.....Sorry for the long winded reply Marshy. I DO find it bloody difficukt having it always here....



Marshy;1317885 wrote: I suppose that's true given your situation. Must be tough, though, I'm not sure I could have done it that way. I was living by myself when I stopped and some people think that's difficult. Swings and roundabouts...

Anyway, good to hear the urge passed. It does, even though sometimes it seems it never will. Have you read about urge surfing? That helped me sometimes. I think there's something about it in the toolbox thread.

Are you finding it harder or easier than giving up drugs? Just curious...

Marshy
May 24th, 2012, 10:03 AM
Hi Daya,

I used to mark on the calendar too. Have you seen drink tracker here?

It seems it's very common to swap one drug for another (even with a big gap between them). I used to smoke, gave it up for years, drank like a fish for years, then stopped drinking. No drugs whatsoever for about three years, then I was under massive stress throughout my mum's illness and death and started to smoke on and off occasionally (knowing that it was less "dangerous" for me than drinking but still a ridiculous and harmful thing to do).

It's a weird thing.

So I've been reading up about addiction transfer and found this quite interesting: Understanding Addiction Transfer and Cross Addiction - Drug Addiction and Drug Abuse Center - Call For Help (http://www.drugaddictioncenter.org/drug_addiction_center/understanding-addiction-transfer-and-cross-addiction.php)

What do you think?