Weekly AA Thread - May 28 - June 3

[retteacher]

Everyone:

I just read the end of last week's thread. DG, it's not easy to change sponsors, but sometimes we must. I had a male friend help me my first year in program. I knew that I needed to find a female sponsor which I found over a year ago. It wasn't easy, but I did it & have benefitted greatly. I'm almost entirely through the steps again & feel more than ready to help someone else.

We discussed holiday drinking at our last discussion meeting. I honestly don't think about it very much. Yesterday we went to a wedding. It was fairly small wo/the usual over-drinking that weddings seem to bring on. That said: the wine was being poured pretty freely throughout the night. I had a slight twinge when we first arrived & saw everyone having their first glass. I held off even on soda & just experienced being in a crowd wo/any kind of crutch. It only took a few minutes for me to feel perfectly fine.

My husband drank 2 glasses of wine & the champagne toast all night. I realized all over again that I just could not do that. I'd have been sneaking off to the drinks table MULTIPLE times & then would have still felt deprived. Socializing for me is so much easier when I stick to soft drinks. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I'll go to my usual speaker meeting tonight. I don't feel I'm missing out on anything in not going to any kind of back-yard bar-b-que w/all the attendant drinking that seems to happen at those. We'll probably take the dog on a nice walk instead.

Take care one & all.

Mary

[pingu1997]

Weekly AA Thread - May 28 - June 3

Me again.... Sorry
Been to a nice aa meet, finally found one where I felt I could really be and not feel intimidated, scared,out of place. Found someone who seemed to be totally on my wave length. She has been texting me this week
So, having been told, and got upset about the fact, that I had to go to loads of meetings until I found a suitable sponsor, it all changed last week after that meeting. I felt I wanted to get started on the programme sooner than later. Now I have to decide. Do I go with this or do I wait a while and see what happens. I've done over a year on my own but recently I've been frustrated trying to imagine a sober future. Having said that I went to a piss up at the weekend, and came away happily sober. It felt so good
So any advice about the way forward with aa would be appreciated
Thanks

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 28 - June 3

pingu: I'm not sure what you're asking. Are you saying that you have a chance of getting a sponsor that you like? I would go ahead & get a sponsor & begin the steps...if that's what the new sponsor wants to do. I felt uncomfortable for a long while when I first got into AA. I didn't want to join in or even meet people. I made myself go to meetings, because I had tried to get sober over & over, only to relapse. I finally felt I could commit myself to AA. I now have a sponsor & have worked the steps. I don't usually think in terms of never drinking again. I just take my sobriety one day at a time. It has worked well for me. Mary

PS: Please clarify your questions if I have misunderstood your posting.

[pingu1997]

Weekly AA Thread - May 28 - June 3

Hi, sorry for being a bit un clear

I went to a few Sunday meetings in the past few weeks, and dared to bring up the idea of actually stArting the programme, since I had done over a year by myself so had got over the withdrawal stage
They told me I had to keep coming to meetings and when I had been a while and felt more comfortaable then I was to search for a sponsor. I was a bit upset by that as I kind of wanted to explore it straight away, having had difficulties recently coping with living sober
When I went to a different meet last week things changed for me, I liked the meeting so much better and saw some people there who seemed to be on my wave length. One lady who I'd met the previous week at a wedding came over to me and immediately gave me her phone no. We started chatting and it appeared she had a kid with similar issues to mine. I kind of clicked with her. I asked about how long I had to wait until I was allowed to start the programme with a sponsor and she said well how soon do you want to feel better. We've been texting all week, she keeps checking I'm ok and asking questions about drinking and emotional stuff. Nothing has been said about sponsor stuff but I feel that I may have found someone I click with, trust and who seems to be on my wavelength.
Now I'm trying to do some soul searching as to whether the programme is what's want to do. I feel pretty sure it is, I'll try anything to live happily sober, but i need to give it some thought. That's why I asked on this thread. To see if anyone who was doing it could advise. I am sober but i sometimes struggle with staying that way... I've got so far using willpower but I think I need something more solid for the longer ter,
Thanks for reading

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 28 - June 3

P: Okay, I now know what you mean. I would ask this woman who befriended you how long she's been in program, & if she's done the steps or not. If she has experience, I would go for it. What do you have to lose? If it doesn't work out, you haven't lost anything. I've only been sober in AA for 3 years, & I went through the steps the first year w/someone I trusted. Now, I'm just completing a second round of the steps. It's my understanding that the steps are a life-long process: cleaning house (metaphorically speaking), helping other alcoholics, staying in touch w/a higher power. Maybe you could set up a meeting w/this woman & discuss your issues w/AA. I'm sure she'll listen w/an open mind. Good luck. Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - May 28 - June 3

I just got back from a topic/discussion meeting. The topic was about whether to confront someone whom we suspect is drinking (maybe after a period of sobriety). The general consensus was "no." Lead by example. Wait until the person either hits bottom or asks for info. The discussion was very interesting. Mary