Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone:

In our Sun. night group, we read all the stories in the BB. We're on the section where the people sharing haven't lost everything yet. It's the part of the book I most identify with. I was able to be in denial for quite a long time, because I managed to function. I didn't lose my family, job, license, etc. Even after I came into AA & started hearing the stories, I still questioned my alcoholism.

I now know that I am an alcoholic. That admission is crucial for me, because I will drink if I lose sight of the fact that I am, in fact, an alcoholic & cannot drink under any circumstances. Even before I drank on an almost-daily basis, whenever I drank, I always drank too much. I never moderated...hard as I tried to do so.

So, my lesson is to never let myself think I'm not an alcoholic & maybe I can have "just one." That isn't in my future.

I have a lot going on in my life right now, but I know I can handle anything if I stay sober. Drinking will not help ease things. It only makes everything harder in the long run.

Mary

[Bean]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

Hi Mary & all to come

This is pertinent for me today. I just had an unpleasant evening at my sister's house. She's a daily drinker of 1-2 bottles of wine (I'm not sure exactly how much). She's so irritable, negative and nasty about other people. I just sent her an email explaining some of my feelings about her behaviour and that I know it's largely due to her excessive drinking.

I am 99.9% sure she will say she's NOT an alcoholic and it's got nothing to do with it because she has been a daily drinker for over 20 years and manages to keep house and home going. So she's one of those that hasn't lost everything (or really anything) yet except that she's poisoning her body and spirit and it shows.

I am afraid my email will put a big spanner in the works but since sobering up myself, I am determined to speak my truth and not allow AL to maintain it's miserable grip over any more relationships or situations.

Bean

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

bean: I think that, in seeing the truth about her drinking, your sister might see what's she's doing to herself physically, emotionally, & spiritually. 1 - 2 bottles of wine daily is NOT normal drinking. I drank like that, & I knew something was terribly wrong. In fact, I knew I was an alcoholic but was in too much denial to admit it. As hard as this is to say though, your sister might not want to give it up. She might not hit bottom any time soon. The alcohol takes its toll, & someday she might. This is a progressive disease. All you can do is be an example & be ready when she does want to change. Good luck. Thanks for the post.

Mary

[Kaslo]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

Hi Bean, She may be telling herself that but I bet deep down she knows her life is a negative experience. I really feel for you, because I couldnt stop my own sister from spiraling down. But at least you tried. I wish I had an opportunity to do more for my own sister. Regardless of how polished she comes across, my guess is there are more than a few flaws in her fabric. Shes got to really know it deep down. I hope she doesnt get mean with you over it. Shes lucky to have you.

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

Bean, it is difficult to approach family members about drinking. Some folks suggest the best method is by living in your sobriety.
Good luck to you.

[TheSunFlower]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

Because I don't know where to go

I know that AA is the solution. However, everytime I go there....some wall gets puts up....probably by me. I finally heard someone say....that all the "take what you want.....and leave the rest" did not work for him. So he just decided to accept it all. I've been working on that. The furthest I have gotten is to understand this "mental craving". Which is much further than I have gotten to even with several months sober in the program. I crave it so badly that I just want to cry. I succumb at times...and others I don't. Which makes no sense to me at all.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

the sf: I was scared to death of AA when I first started. I didn't identify as an alcoholic for months even though I knew I was one. I just kept going to meetings because nothing else worked for me...not even MWO. Now, I know for sure that wo/AA I would be drinking today. I cannot stay sober wo/the fellowship. Good luck. Mary

[TheSunFlower]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

Thanks....

Mary....I know what you mean. I have been in and out of those rooms for 8 years. I need to just sit back for awhile. Listen and take in. MWO is a great site.....but, it never really worked for me. AA has worked....but I am not one of those who walk in and never take a drink again. Mental craving is crazy. Now I just watch it. I succumb....but I am watching what it does. I am taking this ever slowly. Too slowly....but, I never got the damn thing before. I want to get it this time. For years....."if you want want what we have".....I was like hell no.....you have an incurable disease....that means I have to come here forever.....and dang I already did up to the 9th step odf your program......and I still hate it. I love it too. I just saw women go an clean out a women's house....just because...Where else do you get that? Where else can you find a friend no mater where you go......I just can not get there...and it makes me sad...so very sad.

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

AA is a simple program, but it is not easy. Yeah, I know, we hear that all the time from the AA community, but you know what, it is true. I had to be ready to stop drinking. I tried on my own, read a bunch of books (still reading), joined MWO YEARS ago and still could not stop drinking. Just like it says in the Big Book of AA, after some time in the program, poof, the desire to drink was gone. Some call that a miracle....I don't know....I just know I will not drink today.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

phil: Well said for the newcomer. I just kept hanging on, & now I don't have the craving/obsession. How did that happen? I'm not sure, but it did. This is not to say that I'm complacent that I'll never drink again. I've heard too many relapse stories to think that I'm "cured." Mary

[catch22]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

Bean ,They say not to get in any1 way of there rock bottom !! but be there when the time comes, when they need you, and i know you will be. x
I had not lost everything myself BUT i did lost me inside, Hitting bottom i felt so helpless and in bits inside me when i first come into the rooms of AA idid not want to be there but deep dwn i knew this is the place for me where ppl understand want am going through and can relate to me. It takes times sunflower my first year was a roller coaster...

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

My first year was a roller-coaster as well. In addiItion to learning to live alcohol-free, my father died & my daughter was diagnosed w/cancer. I didn't know how to go through a crisis wo/numbing out. I used the simplest tools of the program, especially the slogans:
-one day at a time
&
-first things first.

I still feel like a baby when it comes to getting through difficulties. I try not to look too far into the future. I tackle what is in front of me the best I can.

Last night's meeting was on step 7. There was plenty of talk about humility which is always a good topic.

mary

[TheSunFlower]

Weekly AA Thread - June 11 - June 17

Thanks

Mary and Phil. Many times AA has driven me to drink. As I read the book now I can now see where I was taking everything so literally too fast. One day at time....the miracle will happen....as long as I don't drink. I have faith this time. In the past I was too inpatient.