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    The Gravy

    Hi everyone! Please let me introduce myself to those of you who I haven't met yet. My name is Deirdre. I was very active on the Monthly Abs boards last year, mostly before we switched over to this new website. Anyway, I've been AF now for - holy sh*t - it will be 11 months in early March. Sorry, I just surprised myself - haven't counted in a while I guess. Anyway, I hope to stick around and get more involved again as I really like what's going on here on the LTA boards. Props to all of you for that!

    So here's my gravy post:

    We've all done so much work to get our drinking under control, and repair our lives in the wake. Eventually we find ourselves with a new foundation - stronger even than the original, because we have come to know ourselves better through the process. My question to you all is, what is your gravy? What are those little rewards, or pleasant surprises that pop up. Unexpected things or events that arise out of all your hard work. Things that happen to you, or even just things you are now able to see in the world because your eyes are a little more accustomed to the light, so to speak... things that bring sweetness into your life.

    I'll tell some of mine & then you all can tell some of yours:

    Standing in the shower thinking about nothing in particular & having a deep feeling of gratitude just well up in me. It goes up to my mouth & spills out in laughter. Then in a flash I'm crying too at the same time (tears of joy I think they're called). And all I can think is - I got my life back, and I can make of it whatever I want.

    Being able to get up early in the morning - even if I don't have to -I actually enjoy it now. And I have never been a morning person - but they are really nice!

    Feeling much more comfortable looking people in the eye.


    Love to hear from you all about your gravy!

    Deirdre:h :heart:

    #2
    The Gravy

    Snuggling with my daughter while she reads to me... Seeing her smile and talk excitedy about how her teacher says she getting so much better at her fluency in reading...knowing that I have something to do with that. For the past several months, I've been to wrapped up in my misery to do much other than the cursory glance at homework and a quick good night kiss. But lately, since I been trying really hard to get a handle on drinking and the isolation that occurs as a result, I've seen the difference in her happiness (even in something as simple as twenty minutes of snuggling and reading). Her happiness makes me happy. It gives me such a strong will to keep fighting the fight against drinking too much.

    Thanks for helping me to focus on the positive in this struggle.

    Julie

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      #3
      The Gravy

      Having clarity of mind and being able to focus and use my time productively.

      I have been living in spain for 3 years and in the past have made a real half-hearted attempt to learn the language. Last year I had 7 months Af and I started to really make some progress, signed up at a school and spent hours with books / CD's etc. Then I started drinking again and it all came to a stand still - just always seemed like to much hard work - why bother!!

      Now I'm on day 63AF and have got the language bug again. All that time I used to spend wasted or wasting, I now spend learning. It is like a drug, I have made fantastic progress and am really on a high....
      Hasta pronto
      Changeling

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        #4
        The Gravy

        I HAVN'T COMES FAR AS AS YOU HAVE BUT LIKE WHAT YOU ARE SAYING THANKS

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          #5
          The Gravy

          Hi Deirdre:

          You know, the year 2006 was the first year I had been completely AF since 1971 I think.

          I had a physical exam almost two weeks ago now, and it was such a great thing to hear the doctor say, "Good.....good.....good....good"

          That instead of, "Lungs sound like crap. Heart sounds not too good. Chest x-ray looks suspicious. Liver is borderline. Cholesterol is high. Blood pressure is high. Immune system in the crapper. Blood sugar not good. etc. etc". Thats what I was told during my last physical 3 years ago.

          Just hearing those words, "Good, good, etc." ......well, I just can't put a defining word to how that sounded to me. Truly gravy.

          Neil

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            #6
            The Gravy

            (Welcome back Deirdre!)

            Last Saturday morning I was heading out around 8:30 to run some errands. As I drove out of my neighborhood, I saw a man walking down the street with a 12-pack of beer. I wondered for a second what he was doing. Then I realized: oh yes. The store at the corner would have just started selling beer at 8:00. That poor devil HAD to have beer, and maybe even was out of beer before the store opened when he could get some more.

            Thank God I don't have to have alcohol, at 8:00 in the morning or at 8:00 at night. I don't guess that really counts as gravy, though. That's the meat.

            Some gravy would be that I have more money. Every day that I don't drink saves me anywhere from $10 to $20, so that adds up pretty quickly. Add to that the fact that with a clear head, I'm able to make better choices about how I manage my money, and I find that I'm in much better financial shape than I used to be. Now that's gravy.

            Mike
            "Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance." -- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

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              #7
              The Gravy

              drEAmIng;101039 wrote:
              Standing in the shower thinking about nothing in particular & having a deep feeling of gratitude just well up in me. It goes up to my mouth & spills out in laughter. Then in a flash I'm crying too at the same time (tears of joy I think they're called). And all I can think is - I got my life back, and I can make of it whatever I want.

              Feeling much more comfortable looking people in the eye.
              Deirdre:h :heart:
              What a lovely idea for a post, thanks Deirdre :goodjob:
              I found myself walking down the street with a big grin on my face just feeling how beautiful the world and the day was and I too started to cry with joy.It is great to have your life back and I too feel so much happier looking people in the eye and not wondering if they can see how drunk I am and yes Mike,the money I'm saving is amazing!
              Also, being able to jump in the car and go wherever and whenever I want.
              Have a great day everyone.
              Love to you all :h
              Victoria xxooxx

              Comment


                #8
                The Gravy

                Hi De..........
                It's great to have you back here.
                I've been working on this for about a year and have made progress also..

                The thing I think about when you say "gravy" is............
                SLEEP! I rest so much better and longer now.

                It has been a long road this past year for me as we grow and make our own wine here on our farm..
                I've had to put myself first in many ways and stop trying to please others. I've moved into my own bedroom so that I can have peace and quiet and do the things that help me rest. My hubby has sleep apena and will not do anything to help himself...He also drinks almost everyday and snores like a fraight train.
                Any who.....
                Gravy......Many new friends here...

                :welcome: back De!!

                :h Nancy
                "Be still and know that I am God"

                Psalm 46:10

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                  #9
                  The Gravy

                  MY gravy is.....looking people in the eye(like you said) and also a big one for me is when i talk to someone eg one of the mums at the school gates, I feel I can speak out more and not feel quite so embarressed and insignificant, i think that is having a little more self-confidence. The one thing heavy drinking gave me was a massive insecurity feeling, a desperate need to hide away, a feeling of being a nobody and even though i am only 14 days AF I already feel a little bit taller and my head is held a little bit higher.

                  This gravy thing is a fab topic to talk about. Thanks

                  Comment


                    #10
                    The Gravy

                    Where to start with gravy....Right now I'm swimming in it there is so much.....

                    The looks on the faces of my son and daughter when they visit me and I am stone cold sober, not half drunk, and we can have an intelligent conversation..

                    Proper sleep. deep down restful sleep.....

                    Getting up early in the morning, no hangover or regrets about the night before....

                    More energy and enthusiasm, also more money in the bank.....

                    But, the most important things, realising that I am worth it, I am important and I have strengths I am only just finding out about....

                    My God, life is GRAND...

                    Love, Louise xxx
                    A F F L..
                    Alcohol Free For Life

                    Comment


                      #11
                      The Gravy

                      Deirdre- nice post. Happy you are back too.
                      I love everyone's posts too- isn't this great? I mean, to feel like this?

                      I have never been athletic or strong or even very toned.
                      On the day I decided - no more fooling around, I'm done drinking - I also signed up for a trainer at my gym (the gym I never went to). Oct 28th - to be exact.
                      I told myself I was working out and that was that.
                      I think I may have missed one week while being sick - but other than that I have been at that gym.
                      My gravy is that for the first time in my life I am really taking care of myself. And that includes physically. I can feel my progress. I have muscles I never thought possible! I'm doing things I never thought possible.
                      I am 43 and I think I will be in better shape this year than - well, ever.

                      My gravy is that I have decided I am worth working on.

                      :h
                      Lisa

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                        #12
                        The Gravy

                        I agree with all of you! Life is so much better being sober. No more hiding behind a haze of alcohol. I am actually starting to like myself. I never thought that was possible. I am able to deal with what life gives me (or at least try) instead of running to the bottle and making it worse. I can wake up in the morning with a clear head and have the energy I need to make the most out of my day. Not to mention I am not cranky, edgy and hung over so my time with my child is no longer a 'burden of chores'. I hate to say that ... but it is true. I was completely exhausted and needed to nurse myself most days so I could take care of my child's most basic needs. How sad is that?

                        Gravy.... swimming in it! Loving every minute of it. So grateful to you all for this wonderful place. I can't imagine getting this far without you all. You are my gravy too.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          The Gravy

                          Gravy for me is

                          Real sleep for the first time in over 20 years!
                          Getting up in the morning - and feeling .....good? Eh? - What is that all about?
                          Gettng up early at the weekend.
                          No indigestion.
                          Eating breakfast.
                          Getting stuff done in the evening - rather than spending the time in an alcohloic haze.
                          Getting fit again and losing 14 pounds in weight.
                          Walking down the street and actually "seeing" the world without the haze or the hangover.
                          (Shh......sober sex .. and working erm..."equipment"! )
                          Not expending huge amounts of emotional energy feeling guilty / beating myself up.
                          Not spending a load of time planning drinking, actually drinking and concealing the evidence!
                          Actually being able to meditate every day instead of on the rare occasions that I was sober!
                          Saving loads of money.
                          Seting my kids a better example
                          Spending more time with my kids.
                          Not having to lie to my family or friends.
                          Here is a weird one - my sense of smell has improved - anyone else had that??
                          Not letting family down
                          Not letting friends down
                          Not feeling guilty and stressed because I was not as productive at work than I should be

                          How much more time have you got?

                          The list goes on and on!

                          Satori

                          xxx
                          "Though there are many paths at the foot of the mountain - all those who reach the top see the same moon - as any fule kno"

                          Comment


                            #14
                            The Gravy

                            Hi Deirdre...welcome back!!

                            I seem to have so much gravy at the moment it's slopping off the plate and the dogs licking it off the floor.....here are some of the ingredients

                            being able to breathe at work without wondering whether people can smell last nights brewery...
                            being able to shower on HOT instead of cool to try and relieve some of the bloaty sweaty morning after
                            waking up at 4:30 for some quiet time because I WANT to, not because I need a nurofen/panadol/vit C cocktail
                            Being able to walk down the vino aisle without stuffing a carton in the trolley
                            Having a trim toned bod, without the toxic booze/food binge filled bloat
                            Enjoying the simple things...a walk on the beach, ambling round the shops, going to work, as I never have to rush home and start drinking, and have ten times more energy without the hangovers
                            Sleeping soundly every night...waking with a smile
                            Every memory of the night before...not one embarrasing booze related crap up
                            Self Pride and self love.....
                            Extra money for the occasional massage, new books, a coffee when I am out
                            Counting my sober days.....

                            Sorry....it's slopping....somedody grab the vax...it's sure to stain the carpet!!!
                            I could just go on and on............
                            LIFE IS GRAVY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                            Yippee..........................

                            Comment


                              #15
                              The Gravy

                              hi Deidre

                              Good to meet you I am relatively new but feel as though I have been around for ages...

                              I am just starting to make a little gravy for myself - not as much as the expert gravy makers Louise and Melon but its a start (11 days AF).

                              I take pleasure now in the small stuff.... no longer am I trying to have the most exciting, social life - I like a good long bath with a butterscoth pecan candle.

                              I get real joy from my kids telling me stories about school and nursery now and am not just giving them lip service till I can pack them off to bed so I could have a drink. And feel a total fraud. I actually really giggle and get the joke!!!
                              I wake up thinking oh theres something different, what is it? I feel good!!!
                              And I feel that I am important now.... my point of view does count and I am not paranoid, nervous and anxious because I am hung over.

                              But most important is the feeling that no matter how bad I feel, how stressed I get I can smile and say - I haven't had a drink for 11 days and am beating this beast.

                              Deidre - it is sooo nice to hear that 11 months on this feeling has not worn off for you!!!!
                              Love S

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