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**shueaddict** · July 18, 2012, 02:03 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

Good morning, Mick and all his windows intact,

Thank you for the coffee – mug #2 much appreciated. I had another fantastic sleep ( the one full of great dreams … ok, no going into details, suffice to say they were the nice kind, not the drinking dreams or the recurring nightmare that I was crashing the car - had that pretty much each night after drinking heavily).

I am still full of beans today – I put a pretty big dent in my hard earned bonus last night – nothing like an online shopping spree when the sales are on to lift a girl’s sprits. So back to hard work for me, I need to make the 2012 / H2 numbers look good.

Last night I went walking with a girlfriend, she said earlier that she really feels like having some wine after the walk. I no longer have any wine in the house (don’t trust myself really … there … I said it). I went to the store with her and did not buy wine on purpose, instead I offered her a beer and I had an AF one. She is one of the few people who knows I stopped drinking and is really cool about it (whenever she hosts a bbq she buys Perrier or Clausthaler just for me … true friend).

Some time ago I would have played the good host and buy wine just for her - only to torment myself further about the wine left in the bottle for days to come. Now I am a little more selfish; I read somewhere that it is part of the transition.

Wishing you all a super hump day

**lifechange** · July 18, 2012, 02:53 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

i soooo look forward to coming here each morning!
Mick, the coffee is delicious. i'm also having my 2nd cup--i'm happy to hear you so strong in your resolve. and i appreciate very much your support. i also feel different this time. i am no longer letting myself ignore HOW I AM. it's just the way it is and i don't want to fight it anymore. i don't want to take any more chances where al is concerned.
my situation is like that of many. and i found what Kaslo wrote interesting. i have also inherited this directly from my mother. she didn't drink much the first 10 years of my life, but after that she was falling down drunk until i was in my 20's. it's take years for us to mend our relationship but now she's one of my closest friends. i actually don't know about whether or not it was "directly" inherited from her-- but it's ironic that she is now one of the few people i can talk to openly about my struggles. and i worry about my 10 year old. i think she shows signs of an obsessive personality. i want to show her that drinking soesn't have to be part of a happy life. i'm very relieved, Kaslo, to hear of the choices your daughter is making.

**lifechange** · July 18, 2012, 03:02 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

damn. i'm not so good with this computer!

Shue, so good to see you this morning. i am very tempted to hit the sales. times like this i'm so thankful not to have a credit card!! so i actually have to get my butt out of the house and to the shops-- i'd be dead if i could purchase online!
really smart move on suggesting the beer. i am also being selfish right now. i've made the decision to do whatever i have to do to stay sober. and if that means being selfish so be it. you are someone who gives a lot of yourself--so being selfish with regards to alcohol is no biggie.
Lilly, like i said yesterday, i think you are very considerate and thoughtful in what you write. i have never found anything you've written offensive. really. could be because i agree with everything you say, i guess!! but i find that even when you are disagreeing with another opinion, you are very delicate in the way you disagree. as i read in the nest today, i also wondered why some were reacting so strongly.??? i'm always very happy to see you and i get a hell of a lot from hearing about your journey.

hello to Lav!! i wish you could transmit some of your energy to me. at this point i'm blaming the weather for my lack of energy.!

**Mick** · July 18, 2012, 03:21 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

Hi Lifechange go for it..just read your posts including previous ones.. dont know your background or previous history with al, but there is certainly different resolve to you now. Go for it.. up and at em girl!

**shueaddict** · July 18, 2012, 04:03 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

Lilly – I went for a flight over the newbie's nest to find it full of ruffled feathers. Oh my …

I think people are overreacting a bit and sometimes they read into words what they want to hear – not sure that makes sense, but I have seen people just waiting to pick a fight over a sentence. In the end it comes down to people being able to take on constructive criticism (especially when it is addressed directly to their own person). I am with you and wise Byrdie on this one (she has been really helpful to me too … calling me on my slips and not being really accommodating when I repeated them; I needed that, though I did not like it or the tone).

LifeChange - I have saved quite a bit of money since I no longer buy cases of expensive New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc and I am proud to say I have made even more money by being a lot more keyed-in in work. Zero guilt for blowing some cash and I love this feeling.

**satz123** · July 18, 2012, 05:27 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

Hi Folks
Day 16 and all's well chez Satz !!!
Challenge on Saturday night - but thanks to Army folks advice I have a devious plan to get over that particular hurdle...............:H

Again I will 'never say never ' as that is just looking for trouble. If I ever have a glass of wine again or a cold beer on holiday it will be my decision and does not have to lead to major binge.
I left that type of drinking behind me a long time ago.
At the moment I cannot see the logic in one or 2 as I am trying to lose weight and adding 400 calories with 2 glasses of wine is MADNESS

...... but I will always be viligent ........... always.

**Lavande** · July 18, 2012, 06:43 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

Good morning Abbers!

Thanks for the coffee Mick - you're getting pretty good at this

Congrats on your AF time!

I just want to say a few things here - This is an abstinence thread. No thoughts of moderating should be going on in our heads here. We have all been there & done that, failed every single time.
I have also found the newbies nest to be rather distubing these days

The nest was created to provide a safe haven for people just beginning MWO. I appreciated the advice I received when I first arrived. Some individuals posting there lately are just not ready to let go of AL & it's unclear why they post at all. If you cannot manage to string a few AF days together then you really should stop arguing with the people who have had success.

Greetings to shue, Lifechange, satz & everyone stopping by today!
Another hot, hot day on the way today going to at least 100 degrees.
I've been lucky in not losing any hens yet - they love ice in their water coolers

I'm going to pick up a new car late this afternoon ~ nice!
Loving my AF life & wishing the same for everyone!

Lav

**porqoui** · July 18, 2012, 06:57 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

Good morning everyone. Now that I've got my MWO fix I'm off to start my day. It's amazing how quickly "one day at a time" turned into 20. Thanks for clarifying Mick. I was confused after that moderation post, now all is right in my world again. Have a great AF day everyone.:h

**LillyE** · July 18, 2012, 08:52 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

Oh DAMN! I had written one of my characteristically over-long posts and accidentally deleted it. Oh well, perhaps you're all spared the rambling… for today. So I will try and recap at high speed because it's way past my bedtime here…

Thanks for asking about my event Mick. It was interesting. It involved talking to some high level people in my industry (journalism) that both impress and, frankly, intimidate the hell out of me. I realized later that normally I would have drunk during it for confidence and afterwards out of a sense of inadequacy. But instead I drank mineral water, spoke coherently (I hope!) and came home, got a bit more work done and logged in here. WIN!

Shue, well DONE on being "selfish" though I wouldn't really call it that. I can completely see how that is probably a very healthy part of the transition - whereby you place your sobriety first. I have done what you said in the past (bought the wine to be a good host, been tormented by the leftovers) but will think of what you've said if and when I'm next in that situation.

Lifechange, I am SO happy to hear you being in this place of strength and commitment to quitting as I think we've had a similar trajectory. It really does make it easier when you've taken it completely off the table as an option doesn't it? I am so happy right now to be around people fully committed to abstinence as I know that's really what I need right now.

Also, I keep meaning to say that your story about your daughter saying you were the perfect woman was so touching. I can also see how that'd be totally heartbreaking if you feel like you're failing in drinking. But you ARE living up to that devotion and admiration by working so hard to positively change your life. I also think you will be in an ideal place to tell her (from your own and her grandmother's experiences) and show her (through how you're both living now) that you don't need Al to be happy. And hopefully her obsessions, if she has them, will find healthier outlets, like art, music, food Speaking of, cooking anything exciting lately? (I always love to talk food…)

Thank you also for your kind words about the Nest fracas - and Mick, Lav, Shue also - as I did find it quite upsetting. But moving onwards and upwards.. Perhaps it's good it's pushed me out of the Nest as the discussions there lately haven't really been helping me. It's a shame though.

Anyway, for now, it's way past my bedtime. Night all,

Lilly x

**Kaslo** · July 18, 2012, 09:36 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

Good morning Abstinecial Fabulaters, it is Kaslo checking in from the Pacific Rim (well inland 700 kilometers, but whos counting on the global scale). Thanks for starting us up Mick, and thank you also for clarifying your committment. I am so glad to see people coming to this abstinence sactuary.

Lily, I loved your post here. I too am a writer, although its technical writing about boring stuff but still. I bet you wowed em and its so good that you did this sans AL. We think it helps but in fact not.

Lifechange, you are so lucky to have this support from your mom. Its hugely important to be able to talk about this one on one with someone. Many of us dont have that, chez moi for example, and I think the chat room has been helpful for that. It took Mr Kaslo about a year to realize that I needed some kind of affirmation, previous to that he was a bit reluctant to accept it, and that makes it very hard.

In fact its hard to make that balance with friends and family that drink, and remain contentedly AF. Shue, hang onto that friend. Maybe she doest realize how hard it is for you to cope with wine being around. I have noticed that about normal people (lol!). While they love you, and want you to do well, they dont really understand the mindset of a person struggling to obtain sobriety.

A special shout out to Porquoi, Lav, Greenie, Det (where the Feck are you?), Turn, Pap3, M3, Marshy and any I have missed.

Yes this is abstinence for life. Because I happen to like life, whereas before when I was drinking too much I was not happy. Not well. And now I is. I havent been following the Nest, I tend to drop into the need help asap thread every once in a while. It seems like there are always going to be conflicts between people who want to cut back, and people who need to quit. The problem with alcoholism is that its a condition of self delusion. So the conflicts dont help, and it seems like the only place where conflicy is useful is in the writing of novels, or screen plays.

Its been scary weather, more wash outs and torrential rain, and mudslides (there is a reason in terrain science that they are called massive catastrophic failures). I noticed this morning that several trees, not just one, are missing from my beach, I havent gone down there recently because of painting the fecking kitchen, whos idea was that anyway. Done now, the rest of the house looks like hell but the kitchen is good. Everyone have a great day. I know.....ONE THING IS FOR SURE.

Kaslo of the swollen Columbia River.

**satz123** · July 18, 2012, 09:47 AM

AF Day Wed 18th July

Lavande;1351513 wrote: Good morning Abbers!

Thanks for the coffee Mick - you're getting pretty good at this

Congrats on your AF time!

I just want to say a few things here - This is an abstinence thread. No thoughts of moderating should be going on in our heads here. We have all been there & done that, failed every single time.
I have also found the newbies nest to be rather distubing these days

The nest was created to provide a safe haven for people just beginning MWO. I appreciated the advice I received when I first arrived. Some individuals posting there lately are just not ready to let go of AL & it's unclear why they post at all. If you cannot manage to string a few AF days together then you really should stop arguing with the people who have had success.

Greetings to shue, Lifechange, satz & everyone stopping by today!
Another hot, hot day on the way today going to at least 100 degrees.
I've been lucky in not losing any hens yet - they love ice in their water coolers

I'm going to pick up a new car late this afternoon ~ nice!
Loving my AF life & wishing the same for everyone!

Lav

OK Folks
Get the message - no talk input / posts allowed by anyone on this thread unless they are totally abataining .

Fair enough

Bye so.

**TheSunFlower** · July 18, 2012, 06:13 PM

AF Day Wed 18th July

I've been sober 4 days 18 hours 6 minutes and 45 seconds....but, who is counting Since Monday I have been to 6 AA meetings. I have 2 sponsors.

Today I had a business meeting at what I thought was a restuarant. No....it was a bar. They asked me to wait for the client by sitting at the bar. I literally felt myself getting drunk just sitting in the bar stool! Went directly from there to two meetings!

Texted all my support buddies. Talked to sponsor on the way home. I don't want to drink, but I am on edge.

I know this will pass as soon as the witching hours are over!

**Kaslo** · July 18, 2012, 06:48 PM

AF Day Wed 18th July

Hey Sunflower. That is just cruel. I cant imagine that. When I finally quit I locked my self in my house and didnt see anyone for about a week and a half. Except Mr. Kaslo. I didnt tell him what I was up to either. He doesnt drink that much and didnt even notice. I dont think I could have done what you just did. WELL DONE. Keep it up.

**TheSunFlower** · July 18, 2012, 06:56 PM

AF Day Wed 18th July

I wanted to yell out....I'm an alcoholic....I can't sit at the bar. Thought it might not be considered appropiate work behavior

Funny...sitting there the bartender tells me of wreckage of last night where some drunk girl ordered shots for the entire bar at $5 each. The bartender told her no.....but, she pounded on the bar.....and then refused to pay her bill as she did not remember ordering them.

At one meeting.....one guy compared himself to a Gremblin.....except it is add AL and who knows WTF is going to happen

I could sooo picture the evolution.

Feeling better. It is storming like all hell....and going to make myself some soup.

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