AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

[Mick]

Wakey, Wakey..good morning all, and how are we this fine day?1st August, where has this year gone?In fact..Its my daughters 21st in 6 days time..doesnt seem that long ago since she was a screaming bundle..always wanting (and mainly getting) her own way and now she is in her last year of qualifying as a midwife!!
Tea and coffeee on the go.For all those suffering from a heatwave ,yes we still have plenty of rain here..be nice if we could do a trade off.Didnt seem there was too many people on here yesterday........must be busy

Good morning Lavande..tea or coffee? how did your babysitting duties go?Are you on them today or was that a one off?How is your weather..still the same or improving.I am finding myself jobs that have little or no great walking issues involved in fact a couple of them I had forgotten about.

Hi porquoi and how are you today?Going for my second brew..want one?Thanks for the comments on other thread..just going to keep it running to show people how far this site reaches.Its nice to read back on peoples posts, to see how they have come along, and must say yours is really positive.Not necessarily in what you say but your attitude seems a lot more positive, so well done you.

Hi Kaslo..how are you? did you get out of the "dungeon"....( that conjures up some images :H:H) and get swimming?Think there are quite a few of us can relate to what you said with only being able to celebrate target reaching with other people on here, because we all hid the problem, therefore people didn't see how bad it was.That is a really good point about MWO.. helping each other.Human nature being what it is,we all need that pat on the head when we achieve something

Good morning Satz..now in the over 30 club..well done, onwards to your next goal.

Hi Sunflower how did your meetings go? ok I hope.2 yoga weekends planned?how do they work ?Is it a structured programme or do you do your own thing?

Good morning cantoo..how are you today?Day 5 for you?I noticed that you are using the drink tracker.Its nice when you see them all racking up yeh.How is your list going?The best thing about lists and writing things down, they are fluid and can change with the times.Reckon I am a list freak.Everything I do is listed then ticked off.Guess that's the product of government service for 37years..some would say institutionalised!Anyway well done,keep going.

Hi doglover..nice avatar How are you? pleased to meet you and welcome.Day 5 now for you...big race at the end of the month?..what kind of race.Is it running or cars/bikes/boats?
Stay cool and dig deep you'll be ready.

Hi Shue ..how did your day go? all ok? grab a coffee ..quick


Time to sign off now, so as usual hello to all those not mentioned by name.Have a nice af day..stay strong

Mick

[LillyE]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

Morning Mick! We're on the same schedule for a change, that's nice, maybe I'll start logging into MWO at the end of my day more regularly instead of at the start. I've had too much caffeine today already so am now sipping on some lovely licorice tea and waiting for a Skype call from a friend.

Mick, the owl is so lovely. I look forward to seeing more. Also, it's great to hear you sounding so strong and positive! I'm not sure about the viewing the drinkers idea either though. Are you SURE it won't set off any triggers/cravings/associations? I find even when drunk people seem stupid it can still make me crave because, as Kas said, they can still look like they're having a lot of fun and you know they think they are anyway. What do you reckon? I kind of see your thinking - but just be very cautious if you do.

Day 31 and feeling a bit more positive here after some reflection and reading back over my journal of my struggles with Al the past year. I had felt some slippery thinking creeping in and also felt a bit anticlimactic finally reaching 30 days after trying for it for so long. (So now what?) But I realized 3 things you all already all know..

1) If I start drinking again I'll be back to binge drinking in no time, even if it's not immediate
2) If I start drinking again I'll soon be miserable again
3) If I start drinking again who knows how long it'll take me to get another 30 days AF? My previous longest stretch was 24 days last October and I've been trying for 30 ever since. That's NINE months lost in the on-off struggle.

So, my next goal is 100 days (celebrating milestones along the way like 6 weeks, then 60 days...)

I was listening to an AA podcast this morning and they were talking about the mental obsession of alcohol and I started wondering if I've just replaced that obsession with sobriety obsession. I know that's better but I seem to be utterly preoccupied right now with being here, reading elsewhere about sobriety, thinking about not drinking? Does anyone know what I mean? Maybe this is just normal and necessary? Maybe I just need to give myself that 100 days to adjust and then worry if things still aren't feeling a bit more balanced?

I've got 30 days and it wasn't easy and it's a great start in so many ways and I'm already seeing positive changes in myself and my life. I don't want to start over. So I'm going to keep going.

Sunflower, thanks for the words re AA. If I do go tomorrow I will definitely keep an open mind. I've been listening to podcasts of this meeting in Wellington (NZ) and getting a lot from that so I figure it can't hurt. Still, scary idea going the first time!

Kaslo, your post made me google 'alcohol toxicology' - scary stuff! Also, what you said about anniversaries and other people - me too.

Speaking of... Satz, CONGRATULATIONS on your 30 Days! :good job: Yes, if you quit July 2nd then you are 30 days. That was my date too so nice one quit buddy!

:welcome: DogLover!

And HI to everyone else!

[Mick]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

Hi Lilly E ..seems weird..you starting night ,and me day!!Well done you on your days..roll on 60 eh??thats days ..not years!!:H:H
As for my part of the plan..kind of hard to explain..as Kas said its more of a" there but for the grace of God,"and a stark reminder that al cannot and will not be part of my life...I have too much to lose and its taken me quite some years to realise that.As everyone else did, kept kidding myself no problem,give up tomorrow etc etc, the on 4 July something just said get your act together and that was it.Something made me more determined,stubborn whatever, but I will not give in, so I will take what the future holds come what may.Wow bit heavy.Time for coffee and let my rabbits run riot in the garden.Yes the snowy is lovely.She is really soft.and feeds from the hand too.As time goes on I will put them all up.Also got an Australian owl...a tawny frogmouth.. makes a sound like "more pork"
Have a good night,
Mick

[Lavande]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

Good morning Abbers,

Dark, damp, still hot & humid here, yuck!

Mick, glad you are coping with the toe situation
Very nice that your daughter is going to be a midwife - good for her.
I have my daughter & grandaughter here until tomorrow. Nice to spend a little time with them
My son's boys are fun but they also create a lot of extra work :H

Lilly, if I have to be obssessed about something I would rather it be my quits
You really need to keep your sobriety forefront in your mind until it becomes habit!!!!!
I don't constantly think about it these days but when I am confronted with AL my automatic response is 'No thanks, I don't drink'! Same with the smokes.......just one will hurt!!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Hump Day!
Lav
I have my daughter & gran

[TheSunFlower]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

It's my kids first day of school and so grateful not to be hungover standing at the bus stop. That little beast was trying to tempt me last night.....it's one day at a time.....but, knowing that I have important things to do the next day helps. And quite frankly I don't know what the next day holds....which makes everyday important.

Lilly congrats on your 30 days! I've been struggling for 6 years to get them...so nine months isn't so bad. I love the podcasts. I have an older car and I have to play my iPod through the radio. Being that I live in a huge music town....I can rarely get an open channel.

I was never all that scared of AA. Everyone there completely understands you as they have walked in your shoes. I know a lot of people who came into the program months after they stopped drinking. AA really isn't so much about quitting drinking. It's really more about personal growth. And as that occurs your drink obession quiets its self.

If you say nothing most likely people will leave you alone. If you speak up....you will find several people willing to help you navigate the whole thing. I always wanted to make it way more complicated than it is. Now I see the how simple it really is.

Mick....the yoga weekends have several things going on....so they are flexible. One is away at a retreat in the woods. Looking forward to that. Meetings went well. I need to determine the meetings I want to commit to. But today I meet with my sponsor to go through steps 1-3. I am ready to move onto 4. Back in the day they worked the steps in a matter of days and did not analyze the hell out of them before doing them

And I have a hot yoga class tonight....nothing like doing yoga at 105 degrees to cleanse the system!

[lifechange]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

good day abbers!
i'm a late poster today-- had to work then went for a nice run. we finally have some summer heat! Mick, thanks for the coffee. i'm having mine iced. should i admit that it's my 4th today? lordy me, it's a crazy day. that's great news about your daughter becoming a midwife. amazing that she knew at such a young age that she wanted to follow that path. that is actually my dream career. i unfortunately didn't figure it out until i'd had my first daughter and in germany (maybe in the states as well? do you know Lav?) the age of 33 was too late to start to study.
Satz, great gooing on 30 days!! what is your plan now?
yours sounds great, Lilly. i also wonder sometimes if this obsession with sobriety will calm a bit. i also get tired of thinking about it all the time-- don't get me wrong! i love being here and seeing how everyone is progressing and feeling. but i look forward to the days where it isn't taking up so much of my mental energy.

[lifechange]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

hi Sunflower! i also do hot yoga and love it-- but not in the summer! i'm signed up for a 10 day SILENT! meditation retreat at the end of august. it's called vispassana (i think)-- have you heard of this? a friend recommended it to me and i'm really looking forward to it. it will be a huge challenge but i think i'm up for it. i'm interested in the book you mentioned a couple of days ago--regarding meditation and the aa steps.--if you think it's worth reading.
hello to Porquoi! and Kaslo! and Shue! and Lav and now i've forgotten who is new. Goodday?
a wonderful wednesday,
Life

[lifechange]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

it's Doglvr!! sorry-- and Cantoo. good to see you.

[TheSunFlower]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

Lifechange...the book is Yoga and the 12 Step Path....by Hawk. I am enjoying it. I love to meditate when I do it. At first it was so hard....now I can sink into it pretty quickly....10 days! In don't know if I could manage it, but I am sure it will be awesome! I love hot yoga in the summer......after that class I can run around in 100 degree heat and not be bothered by it.

Have a great day!

[shueaddict]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

late check in for me too ... far too late for coffee, sadly.

Mick, congrats for your daughter, I must tell you I love how you get us going in the morning.

Lilly, just in case I have not said it - big congrats for the 30 days, and I don't agree about the time "wasted" to get here. If it was that easy loads of people would be doing it. Going back and forth with AL, while you are trying to quit is something I have experienced a lot. It took me time to reach acceptance, perfect thhe avoidance skills and get my head straight.

Apologies for being very quiet - I have loads happening in Shueland, but you are all in my heart and I do read your posts. Must run, but not before sending you all a big hug.

[satz123]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

Hi folks
Quick check-in - all is well in Satzland :H

I have reached 30 days - but not going to make a big deal of next steps. Just keep going day by day.
I have learned :
I CAN go out for a meal
I CAN go to a wedding
I CAN do a lot
without needing to have an alcoholic drink.

The main thing I CAN do is go home from work - not stop at shop - not buy wine - not drink full bottle while preparing dinner.
(Learning that has been priceless

[CanToo]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

It's Wednesday and you are all here. :-)

I am looking forward to when I can keep track of whose who easier.

Satz123 - congrats on your new knowledge especially your final point! Right there with you.

Day 6 and I now understanding what is going on with my body. Not as tired today and my heart isn't trying to take off. But man my back is killing.

First thing on my list is to find my way to the 'tell us your story' thread.

Thank you for being here today.

[Kaslo]

AF day Wednesday Aug 1st

Hi Abbers. I am way late. Probably only minutes away from Mick starting Thursday, lol! Its wonderful to see you all having success, and putting in a HUGE effort. I know well how hard it is. Gruelling, actually. And as you go, it does get better and better. I am very proud of all of you, you are big heros in my book. You might not get much recognition from people around you, but here, you guys totally ROCK.

I didnt get out of the dungeon much today. I had to send out invoices, my little consulting company consists of me and about 3.5 other people, and when it was larger I had a book keeper on contract, then my DH, now its just me, and Im not so hot at it. Better than I used to be though. I wonder if my AL consumption affected my mistake rate? Probably. Ive just been appointed a science advisor and have to read up on the toxicology of a certain contaminant (which I used to know very well, thus the appointment) in order to attend a week of hearings in the North. Mainly I am expected to translate some of the science into English for a bunch of govt appointees, provide an opinion, defend it, yada yada. I could use Shue as a coach. Although I had done this before. Its quite an honour but its also very scary, because if I get stuff wrong it will be not good as I feel obligated to do a good job, but also the lawyers for the opposing side will tear my tits right off and stomp all over them in the venerable Court, so ole Ms Science Panties is gotta lotta readin' to do.

So much better at this with my wits about me. I would completely stop all AL consumption several weeks before the week of hearings, but NOW I know that that is no where near enough time for my brain to function at its best, and lets face it, Im 58 years old, so when it comes right down to it, I have pretty much had the bun, regardless. Ha ha.

LillyE you have the understanding. I like what you are saying.

Satz, yes its amazing isnt it, that you CAN do those things. I get completely that it was not possible to do it w/o AL before.

Cantoo; the back hurts eh? I have read that there are all kinds of aches and pains, some people get bitchin' headaches. Mine were killers, and I didnt sleep for the first YEAR. But it was still noticeably better in the first couple of days, so I hope you are making a list of the good things. Waking up feeling half assed normal is one, right? Well done.

The Sunflower....wish you could teach me some Yoga. I have had both hips replaced...another symptom of AL consumption is you wreck your cartilage. Mine had help from a major fracture (hit by a drunk driver at 17 go figure). Are there yoga moves for the completely inflexible baked old ladies like me?
WAY TO GO. I bet your Yogic ability improves!

Lifechange, I get the part about feeling tired of thinking about it all the time. Trying to quit becomes an obsession. Remember your psychology has been tampered with and there is this huge transition between being guided on many decisions by AL, where as now you are building a non-dependant persona. Its tiresome. Some even find it boring, and that always is scary, cause there of lots of ways AL has wired you to fail. Dont let it happen!

Mick, I love your posts, and so look forward to them. You have such enthusiasm! Lists are good.

Shue, I just know you are getting so much better at this, I can feel it. So happy for you!

Well here is a big shout out to Lav, Determined, PapMom, Greenie, Marshy, Mof3, Turn, and I hope Universal is doing well at last.

Happy Weds Thursday, where ever you are.

Kas