Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

[retteacher]

Everyone:

Very interesting discussions last week. Last night's story was from the back of the BB where people have reached very low bottoms. That they rise up out of those low places is absolutely amazing...proof to me that there really is a spiritual awakening. My particular bottom was not as low. I didn't lose everything, so sometimes I question whether I really am an alcoholic. Of course, that's stinkin' thinkin', because I really am one. I was admitted to the ER for alcohol overdose. I blacked out, passed out, & threw up on a weekly basis. What normal drinker does that? None that I know of.

Anyhow, I hope all is well w/all of you. The newbies to AA: please come & share & ask questions. We'll do our best to answer.

Mary

[TheSunFlower]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

Mary,

Last night I was reading two stories in the "They Did Not Have To Lose It All" and i was thinking if these people barely qualified.....then I definitely don't. Except I can relate to all the emotions they felt.

Regardless, even if I am a "problem/heavy drinker" and not a real alcoholic.....well, I don't want to be those either....so I'll just be an alcoholic.

Who cares what I really am. I lived years of being a zombie and that is enough for me

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

Sunflower, yeah it doesn't matter what you call it. For me, I just wanted to stop drinking. Really only for 30 days to see if I "qualified" to moderate. I couldn't do it on my own or with the tools and support here. I think you know the rest of the story.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

I liked seeing what you both had written. Likewise for me: I do not need a label though I choose to call myself an alcoholic. Because when I did drink, I always drank too much. I wanted to stop, & AA was the answer...thank God.

Tonight a speaker meeting that I like. I'm getting as many meetings in as I can, as my son & g-children will be here next week. I'm not sure what I'll be able to attend.

[TheSunFlower]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

I had the desire to stop drinking....so I'm in the club. My mind sometimes would get so wrapped up in the label and "if I was one or not".....that I kept drinking, losing sight that I wanted to quit and had a hard time doing it.......for years!

I am light on meetings this week due to family responsibilities. I was suppose to meet my sponsor last night before she goes out of town for two weeks.....but, had a sick kid. I felt the frustration rise...and then I realized it just was no longer a luxury that I get....and I should just go with what life handed out.

Phil and Mary....very grateful to both of you.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

SF: Remember what the 3rd tradition says: (paraphrase) The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop drinking. We don't have to admit we're alcoholics or drink too much or anything else. All we have to do is have a desire (& willingness) to stop drinking. Mary

[TheSunFlower]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

Mary,

No you do not have to identify as one, but you do get singled out and remembered if you don't identify as an alcoholic.

At the end of the day....for me personally....
Did I feel shame, guilt, despair, remorse, regret? Did I put alcohol in front of other things in my life? Yes and yes.

That is what I need to identify with more. That is why I went to the rooms.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

SF:

I too have felt those awful feelings. The guilt & remorse were absolutely killing me. It's so great not to wake up w/that every morning. I'm just beginning to feel the other feelings that normal people feel...even good ones.

There's a small meeting I go to on Thurs. nights. We study the first 164 pages of the BB. It's in depth which I can definitely learn from.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

That small meeting is great. It's more like a study group. We read & reread the first 164 pages of the BB. We take it a chapter at a time, & there's plenty of time for sharing. Tonight we read the chapter: To the Wives. Of course, in my case, I have to reverse everything. Interestingly, my husband who is an Alanon member, followed all the suggestions that Lois (Bill W's wife) made in that chapter. He never nagged or even suggested AA, never threatened or complained. He's not a saint, but I again realized tonight how lucky I am that my relationship survived...40 years & counting. I feel very grateful tonight.

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

Hello fellow travelers!! I have missed posting here with you all. This has been a crazy summer with my Dad's passing, helping my Mom, some oral surgery for me (a result of the many years that I wore a suit, but neglected my teeth in favor of drinking every night!). The good news is that by the grace of a power greater than me, I did not desire a drink - not even once - through this wildly emotional time.

Anyway...school starts in another 10 days but I'm hoping to reconnect here, and then stay connected!

Any time I have heard someone comment in meetings about people not saying "I'm an alcoholic" there seems to always be someone else there who reminds that saying "I'm an alcoholic" is not a requirement for membership. As time has gone on, I have become one of the second type of person!

I ended up in an awesome discussion meeting yesterday. We ended up talking about forgiveness, and especially about forgiving ourselves and learning to love ourselves again. It was awesome and very healing.

It's great to see everyone - the familiar *faces* as well as some new *faces*!!

I look forward to catching up.

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

DG: How wonderful to see you here again.

I need, need, need the reminder about forgiveness...both myself & others. It frees up so much in my mind & spirit when I do that.

My mom has adjusted to my dad's death. It takes a while but it happens.

Mary

[TheSunFlower]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

At last night's meeting we are reading "to the wives" as well. In this group i feel particularly comfortable We read the different types of husbands. I said that sometimes the book confused me more because as it describes i fall in category 1. We discussed that it was more of a progression of the disease....rather than each being a separate type of person. All recalled being in each category and at what point they got off the elevator. They talked about how we are lucky this day in age with the wealth of information that more and more are getting off the elevator earlier than later. I also stated that even if I was just a heavy drinker.....I really did not want to be one of those either.....and I found it easier to be an alcoholic.....regardless....it is the direction my boat was sailing in.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

I fell somewhere between category 1 & 2. Toward the end 2 definitely. But, again, I wanted to stop drinking & that's what AA is about. It's not about how bad or not bad I was. It's about me wanting a better life for myself.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

You are right Mary. It's not about how bad we were (or not) but what we want for today that is so much better.

Heard from a guy in the Big Book meeting yesterday who was sober 16 years and then decided to drink. Not pretty. The usual story about life unraveling pretty quickly.

There is also a woman who is fairly new among us who recently came out of treatment and is relapsing big time. She is on leave from a very high powered job. She has all the money and things a person could ever want, and yet she is going through the same problems as anyone else whose life is being controled by alcohol.
* Her husband moved out
* She is losing a custody battle for her children
* She is refusing to go to the hospital to detox
* She is driving her friends and supporters away - isolating

AL doesn't care what walk of life we come from or how big a house we live in or whether we live in a house at all. I sure don't want to go to that place where AL is running my show again.

DG

[cpn1004]

Weekly AA Thread - Aug. 6 - 12

DG,
I am being selfish for the moment, but it makes ME so happy to see you here again. Whether you like it or not you and Mary are part of my recovery. Yes, I am selfish about my sobriety.

Forgiveness, that topic is so funny for me right now. I had been dealing with a difficult situation with the job. Every time I thought of this person, I said "F*&( him". After several weeks of praying for him ( as suggested in the Big Book of AA) and reading some other literature I am now using a different "F word". Yeah, "forgive him". It has been hard to do. But wow, it does work.
Forgiveness has to be part of my recovery too.