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From moderation to abstinence: Sunbeam's journey

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    #1

    From moderation to abstinence: Sunbeam's journey

    Sunbeam was posting in the mod section when I joined MWO 5 years ago. Through time and spacing the frequency when she drank, she became one of our most successful modders and others looked to her for inspiration. She eventually decided to abstain and posted a beautiful reply to NextPlease with a little bit about her journey toward abstinence. With her permission, I want to share this beautiful post with you today so that you know that when given choices, some people may start with moderating but determine through time that abstinence is the preferred path for them. Thank you Sunbeam!!

    Hi NextPlease,
    I think that recovery from alcohol abuse is a long process, you can see that I am in my fifth year since joining MWO. One important step was changing my thinking from I won't drink to I don't want to drink. In drinking moderately there is a lot of "I won't drink" thinking in order to stay within your limits.

    When I started posting in June, I thought a lot about vacations and holidays, how maybe I would drink just on those occasions. But I have concluded that alcohol truly does not improve those occasions in any way for me anymore. I can relax and enjoy those occasions just fine. The pleasure of drinking is just an illusion, based on long-ago memories. The current reality is that having an occasional drink would most likely lead to drinking more frequently than on those occasions. The angst would be back, thinking about drinking, should I or shouldn't I today, wasting my time instead of doing the things I truly enjoy. Or taking a nap. Or getting absorbed in a good book. These are all better and more enjoyable choices than drinking.

    The most important tool I have used is my personal recovery list. I developed it based on the list that is the current last post on the tool box thread. (Go to monthly abstinence). People here talk a lot about having a plan to follow in order to quit, but I think I don't hear enough about how to change your thinking, your attitude toward alcohol. The collective power of the activities and wisdom of that list was the final boost to strengthen my resolve.
    __________________
    Wine is NOT my friend!
    AF since 9/1/12
    two af months since 6/12
    For the toolbox thread Sunbeam mentioned go to Monthly abstinence under Sticky:Tool Box. Her post is #227. #224 is also an excellent post for advice to discourage drinking. For those who want to moderate, you would still get excellent ideas of how to better moderate from reading these posts.

    :l
    Eve11

    .
    "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

    ~Jack Welsh~:h

    God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:
    Tags: None
    #2
    From moderation to abstinence: Sunbeam's journey

    Nice job, Eve. I am glad I can still help people here. My best wishes to everyone in finding YOUR own path.
    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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      #3
      From moderation to abstinence: Sunbeam's journey

      Thank you Eve and Sunbeam. We can all learn so much from each other. This is excellent.


      "I like people too much or not at all."       Sylvia Plath

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        #4
        From moderation to abstinence: Sunbeam's journey

        Thanks so much for sharing that with us! It really doesn't matter what any one individual's path may be, so long as the destination is a healthier life than what they were living, I think this is a place that can help all. The collective knowledge of the group is so much bigger than any of the individuals that may come and go or stay for the years. I think the name of the site, MY Way Out says volumes more than anything that has transpired since it's founding: it's all about using the collective wisdom, with each person picking and choosing what will help them on journey to find their own "MY Way Out."

        :good:
        Well the 1st are the hardest days don't you worry anymore.
        When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.

        Comment

          #5
          From moderation to abstinence: Sunbeam's journey

          I agree with all the above, Its all about your own personal way out for you.What ever works for you is the way to go.


          :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

          Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
          I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

          This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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            #6
            From moderation to abstinence: Sunbeam's journey

            Many thanks for this Eve and to al of you...

            as stated:
            DfromCT;1391658 wrote: The collective knowledge of the group is so much bigger than any of the individuals ...... MY Way Out says volumes more than anything that has transpired since it's founding: it's all about using the collective wisdom, with each person picking and choosing what will help them on journey to find their own "MY Way Out."

            :good:
            Thank RJ and all those who have contributed over the years and today for this site!
            If you think you're free, there's no escape possible. ~Ram Dass

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              #7
              From moderation to abstinence: Sunbeam's journey

              DfromCT;1391658 wrote: ...it's all about using the collective wisdom, with each person picking and choosing what will help them on journey to find their own "MY Way Out."
              So well said D and that is why it's so important when modders and abbers can post info to each other to help each other and leave the debates of which way is better at the roadside. Everyone has their own journey but we can all help each other along the way no matter what our choice is for ourselves at the present moment. I saw Mario's comment above and want to shout out to him. He's been a long time abstainer and poster and I'm glad to *see* him. Thanks Mario for providing your valuable 2 cents!
              :l
              Eve11
              "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

              ~Jack Welsh~:h

              God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

              Comment

                #8
                From moderation to abstinence: Sunbeam's journey

                DfromCT;1391658 wrote: Thanks so much for sharing that with us! It really doesn't matter what any one individual's path may be, so long as the destination is a healthier life than what they were living, I think this is a place that can help all. The collective knowledge of the group is so much bigger than any of the individuals that may come and go or stay for the years. I think the name of the site, MY Way Out says volumes more than anything that has transpired since it's founding: it's all about using the collective wisdom, with each person picking and choosing what will help them on journey to find their own "MY Way Out."
                I very much agree DT. I appreciate the words of all on this thread. Good to hear.
                You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

                :lilangel:

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