day 1

[ibelieve7]

I have a problem and I know how to fix it but have chosen not too. Well I am fixing it now or my life, career, everything are at stake. I woke up and had a hospital band on my arm this morning and have no recollection of being in the hospital. my friend told me that i was passed out in the bathroom at a bar last night with my pants down on the floor. She called 911 and they had to come and wheel me out of the bar on a stretcher and I don't remember any of this. I am utterly embarrassed and I want help. I feel defeated. This is not my first battle with alcohol, it sent me to prison for a felony DUI and through 2 years of intense treatment. I have to change my life now. I went to a meeting tonight and felt better, but also like i didn't fit it. Like I'm not one of those people, but I am. I am powerless over alcohol and I just have to say no. I'm afraid that I can't do it alone. But I can, this is the first time I have ever lived alone and as a woman in a large city living alone and having a serious drinking problem can be quite frightful. I woke up this morning with a huge bump on my forehead and a bruise on my arm. I'm really scared right now, I'm afraid of what will happen next, I really need help. I am a young, beautiful woman and I want to act that way, I don't want to act like some drunk clown staggering around town. I want to be me, the real me, not the drunk me. I guess I just need some life changing advice and I know what it will start with........quit drinking, if you don't pick up the bottle you won't go into a blackout. So I also feel very alone, I'm 3 weeks new to the city and have already blacked out at all of my neighborhood bars and am too embarrassed to go back so what do I do, black out somewhere else. What the hell is wrong with me. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills, I wish I were like normal people. I'm tired of acting the way I have been and it's really sad to see me struggle through something so simple as, not drinking, why can't I just have a diet coke, or sparkling water, why do I have to drink, why does my mind think about it all the time. Why the hell am I letting it take over my life?

[Bella]

day 1

Hello ibelieve7, It is fantastic that you have logged onto this site. If i were you i would buy the MWO book and the supps. what you have said is very familiar to me, especially the bumps and bruises bit! you have decided to make a change and that is fab. What struck me was when you said "i wish i were like normal people" you have no idea how many people think and say that. you ARE normal but alcohol robs us of so much. My confidence, self-esteem, dignity all went out the window when i drank. You say you are scared. It is scary when we feel out of control but you have got to remember that you are also strong because you want to get help. You can post here whenever you like as there is always someone who will help you, encourage you, give you advice and support you.

You can get through this. B

[Guest]

day 1

Ibelieve7,
Listen you are not unlike many of us. I lost my fiance' April 2006, by mid-May I had 2 DUI's and one DUS, had been to the hospital twice and jail once overnight....what a pathetic waste I had started to become. I have 2 children also. I continued to drank myself stupid until 2 weeks ago. I found this site and the people here have become my second family. This site has given me the strength to start a long, hard process that I knew I MUST!!!! I have a college education, own my own home, etc...single Mom and I was about to lose it all.....everything I had worked so hard for. Start today.....we have all had bumps, bruises, embarrassing beyond belief experiences. The good thing is, you have today....tomorrow. Get the supps, they help tremendously and keep coming here....post, read....get in the chat room. You will be so glad you came here!!!!!! Welcome..

[nattie]

day 1

Ibelieve7
You are in the right place - I started coming here on Monday on my first aclohol free day. The support here is fantastic & the people are the nicest I have met in a long while.
Like you I had many blackouts & embarrassing situations and also like you I just didn't go to those places again but went elsewhere to repeat it all. It is not easy living alone - when I did I drank a lot as there was no one to see me and I could get as obliterated as I wanted.
I now have a lovely boyfriend of 6 years and I have decided to give giving up a go again. I have listened to what everyone has said, ordered my book and am getting my supplements.
You have made the step in the right direction by admitting you want to change & it is so encouraging to hear from all these people who are managing it.

Welcome !

xx

[AAthlete]

day 1

I know that you're scared and that you think there is no way you'll ever be able to escape this life that you created, but that is not true.

The way that you feel is the way that I felt right before starting MWO. Finding this site, and the people in it, made something 'click' for me and I wasn't so scared anymore. Have I been perfect? Heck no, I've slipped several times - but no one here judges you for that - we just pick each other up and help get ourselves back on track.

I truly hope that you'll give us a chance. It is so lonely in the bottom of a bottle, and moving to a new city (new friends, job, etc.) only makes it worse. Keep reading, keep posting, and start living.

We wish you nothing but the best - and will always be here for you.