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    #1

    losing the kids

    It looks like things are really not going to work out with my husband. He says he will never let me have the kids b/c of my drinking. I really think this program will work for me. But does anyone know how long you have to be sober to be able to keep your kids?
    Twinsmommy
    One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your 3 closest friends...If they seem OK then you are the one.
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    #2
    losing the kids

    I don't know the answer to that, twins, but that is heartbreaking. Stay sober, prove you are changing and are commited to that change. Of course I know nothing of your situation but if you feel you are worthy of having the kids then fight like hell for them. Your husband could be using your drinking as his "excuse" to gain control over you, but again I do not know the specifics. I am really wishing you the best.
    I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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      #3
      losing the kids

      Twins, :welcome:

      I don't know the answer to your question, but my heart goes out to you....

      Be positive for your family, they are worth it.

      Love and hugs
      sigpicXXX

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        #4
        losing the kids

        Thanks

        Thanks so much both of you. I am just feeling so hopeless. Last night was my 1st night of hypno and today was 1st of meds & supps. It seemed pretty hard. Plus when I tried to talk to him about the way I feel about one of our situations it snowballs and of course THAT gets thrown in my face. There is never any defense. It hurts and just makes you feel defeated every time.:upset:
        One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your 3 closest friends...If they seem OK then you are the one.

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          #5
          losing the kids

          Twins, I would just try to concentrate on getting the drinking under control. If you know that things are not going to work out, then the best thing you can do is conquer this problem. I don't know much about divorce, but I do know that lots of people on this website can offer better advice than I on this issue. Might I suggest posting this question on general discussion. More people will see it there. Good luck, twins.

          Hugs,
          Pansy

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            #6
            losing the kids

            Sorry twins I can't answer that question. However I can say that I am so proud of you for keeping with your goals and getting your life in control. Keep going and show the world that you have changed and that you can take care of those kids. Show them that those kids are number one to you. Stay focused on what matters.
            "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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              #7
              losing the kids

              Good evening Twins,
              You are in the midst of some very trying times, I'm sure..I'm a child of divorce, child of an alcoholic (maybe two) and have been through a two divorces with the same man..my drinking came after the pain of divorce, and wasn't the cause. I agree, that the most important thing you can do for yourself and your children, and possibly for your husband is to be confident in your efforts to get control of the drinking..no one will have confidence in you until you have confidence in yourself...you have much at stake here, it should be enough to keep you focused..if your motivation for your own life and well being, we can always default to doing it for our kids...whatever works, right? Just keep posting, follow RJs recommendations to the T..especially for the first month, if not longer, and you may be amazed at how everything in your life looks in just a few months.
              Much love and hope for you and your family.
              Dianne

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                #8
                losing the kids

                Thanks much!
                One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your 3 closest friends...If they seem OK then you are the one.

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                  #9
                  losing the kids

                  Just saw this thanks for the encouragement
                  One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your 3 closest friends...If they seem OK then you are the one.

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                    #10
                    losing the kids

                    Twins, So sorry, you are trying can't your ex see that? how old are your children,If you don't mind my asking. I have a sister who literally abandoned her 3 boys for a party lifestyle and they adore her. And here you are trying to get straightened out and you may loose yours. Dosen't seem fair. do you live in a state that favors men over women in divorce proceedings. I live in Va. it's definetly a man's world here. I wish you well, I care and so does everyone else
                    Mary

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                      #11
                      losing the kids

                      I just saw NJ Don't know about the law there.

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                        #12
                        losing the kids

                        Oh Twins.....this is a heartbreaking, and VERY stressful time for you.....my thoughts are with you dear, but all I can do is echo the thoughts of others here....concentrate on getting the drinking under control. I do not know your situation, but perhaps your husband is feeding your 'guilty' senses when he uses this as a threat, is your drinking so bad that you really believe it could be a major deciding factor in the custody issue??
                        If it is, or even if it isn't, with all the upheaval you must be going through now...a healthy mind and body is what you really need sweetie...It won't be an easy time to address this issue...when is? But with commitment, and help from the information and the good folks here, I hope that the changes you need to make come relatively easy....

                        Much love...keep posting....look after yourself for you and your children my love
                        Weemelon xxx

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                          #13
                          losing the kids

                          Thank you both. I live in NJ yes where they always favor moms. We are still married but I really want to make a new start. I have no where to go and no money I will keep posting and keep working on me. Maybe things will fall into place. Thanks for your support. :-)
                          One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your 3 closest friends...If they seem OK then you are the one.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            losing the kids

                            Everything is such a blurr right now
                            One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your 3 closest friends...If they seem OK then you are the one.

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                              #15
                              losing the kids

                              Ok Momo, just breathe. a deep breath. I have been married 3 times, and have been where you are. There are always solutions. We just to get our wits about us and find them.Take this day enjoy it, and lean on us. I have had desperate days and somedays just putting it in writing helps.
                              I care
                              Mary

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