This post is designed for those that have been trying to moderate or control their drinking. Those that abstain may definitely relate to the struggles shared here as trying to control one's drinking can come with many challenges.
WHAT TYPE OF MODERATOR ARE YOU?
I finished an excellent book written by two PhD?s who are advocates that moderation can work for some people. What I was surprised to read was that their research placed people who moderate in 5 different categories. I wanted to share the info as I thought it would be thought provoking for us. My personal belief is that some areas may cross over into others. You?ll see what I mean after I share the info. I will also share how I feel I fit in and wonder where you think you do.
The Stable Moderator: These are people who have found that moderation works well for them and once they cut down it?s no longer a struggle. They can take it or leave it. They don?t feel like ?controlled? drinkers. They don?t drink daily and when they do they have one or two without the craving for having more. Their drinking poses no real problems and they are comfortable with moderation.
The Pretty Good Moderator: These people (like the stable moderators) have cut down on their drinking but still may have days when they drink too much and still have problems related to their drinking but nothing as severe as before.
The White-Knuckle Moderator: Although these folks have tapered down their drinking they find it?s a continual struggle to keep it under control. They often feel like they?re on a tightrope and could fall at any time. They find moderation to be an awful lot of work as they find that they drink less but still want more oftentimes. In the long run they usually decide it isn?t worth the effort and they quit drinking altogether.
Pointless Moderation: Even if these folks succeeded in moderating and didn?t struggle to keep their drinks down to safe levels, they started to wonder what the point is in drinking so little. Previously they drank to get drunk so now they have found alcohol has lost its meaning.
Nice Try: These folks tried to moderate but didn?t have much success with it. They may have had some days of moderation but ended up going right back to completely overdoing it. The experience of giving it a good but unsuccessful try helped them to let go of the idea of controlling their drinking and they chose to abstain rather than to continue to harm themselves and others.
I wish I could say I was in the first group. Wouldn?t that be nice. I fluctuate between the Pretty Good Moderator and the White Knuckle Moderator. Most often I can have one or two drinks and feel satiated. There are times however when I still struggle and want to have another drink. Sometimes this happens when we get home from an evening out where I allowed myself two drinks. Now I am home and really want a third drink. I purposely try to not have alcohol in my home because I never know when a crazy craving is going to hit or when it isn?t. Because it can be such a ?white knuckle? event for me at times, I do entertain the thought here and there of completely abstaining and getting off of the merry go round. Being a ?white Knuckler? is not a lot of fun.
There may be some very lucky ones who fall into the stable moderator role. Perhaps those are some of the people who leave the board as they took the advice they got here, felt moderating wasn?t a difficult thing to do, and they don?t want to be reminded of their previous struggle so they don?t come back to post anymore.
I have read others (who abstain) say there?s no point in only having two drinks so people like that would fall into the Pointless Moderation category. And there are many who have been real honest with us and shared that they gave it a go but it just wasn't working for them and they felt they would have more peace and freedom by letting go of the thought that moderating could work for them.
Share your thoughts friends, where do you think you fit in?
The book is entitled Controlling your Drinking, by William R. Miller and Ricardo Munoz. Has lots of good information.
:l
Eve11
WHAT TYPE OF MODERATOR ARE YOU?
I finished an excellent book written by two PhD?s who are advocates that moderation can work for some people. What I was surprised to read was that their research placed people who moderate in 5 different categories. I wanted to share the info as I thought it would be thought provoking for us. My personal belief is that some areas may cross over into others. You?ll see what I mean after I share the info. I will also share how I feel I fit in and wonder where you think you do.
The Stable Moderator: These are people who have found that moderation works well for them and once they cut down it?s no longer a struggle. They can take it or leave it. They don?t feel like ?controlled? drinkers. They don?t drink daily and when they do they have one or two without the craving for having more. Their drinking poses no real problems and they are comfortable with moderation.
The Pretty Good Moderator: These people (like the stable moderators) have cut down on their drinking but still may have days when they drink too much and still have problems related to their drinking but nothing as severe as before.
The White-Knuckle Moderator: Although these folks have tapered down their drinking they find it?s a continual struggle to keep it under control. They often feel like they?re on a tightrope and could fall at any time. They find moderation to be an awful lot of work as they find that they drink less but still want more oftentimes. In the long run they usually decide it isn?t worth the effort and they quit drinking altogether.
Pointless Moderation: Even if these folks succeeded in moderating and didn?t struggle to keep their drinks down to safe levels, they started to wonder what the point is in drinking so little. Previously they drank to get drunk so now they have found alcohol has lost its meaning.
Nice Try: These folks tried to moderate but didn?t have much success with it. They may have had some days of moderation but ended up going right back to completely overdoing it. The experience of giving it a good but unsuccessful try helped them to let go of the idea of controlling their drinking and they chose to abstain rather than to continue to harm themselves and others.
I wish I could say I was in the first group. Wouldn?t that be nice. I fluctuate between the Pretty Good Moderator and the White Knuckle Moderator. Most often I can have one or two drinks and feel satiated. There are times however when I still struggle and want to have another drink. Sometimes this happens when we get home from an evening out where I allowed myself two drinks. Now I am home and really want a third drink. I purposely try to not have alcohol in my home because I never know when a crazy craving is going to hit or when it isn?t. Because it can be such a ?white knuckle? event for me at times, I do entertain the thought here and there of completely abstaining and getting off of the merry go round. Being a ?white Knuckler? is not a lot of fun.
There may be some very lucky ones who fall into the stable moderator role. Perhaps those are some of the people who leave the board as they took the advice they got here, felt moderating wasn?t a difficult thing to do, and they don?t want to be reminded of their previous struggle so they don?t come back to post anymore.
I have read others (who abstain) say there?s no point in only having two drinks so people like that would fall into the Pointless Moderation category. And there are many who have been real honest with us and shared that they gave it a go but it just wasn't working for them and they felt they would have more peace and freedom by letting go of the thought that moderating could work for them.
Share your thoughts friends, where do you think you fit in?
The book is entitled Controlling your Drinking, by William R. Miller and Ricardo Munoz. Has lots of good information.
:l
Eve11
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