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    March Monthly Moderation

    :H March is almost over and I didn't realize we had never started our monthly thread. nonamegirl's March title threw me but she is working on her personal AF journey through the month of March. Being most moderators are not AF but are moderating, it may not be the best thread to post our modding experiences so figured I'd better get our monthly thread up and going.

    For newbies, the monthly thread is where we post our daily accomplishments or struggles with our moderating lifestyle. If someone wants to create something different
    e.g. Mocktails for modders (listing new non-al drinks) then that would become a different thread. However, to share how yesterday went (e.g. how we fought the urge to drink or decided to have a drink on a day when we normally don't drink on week-days) then that becomes the place to post. It just seems easier to have one major thread where we share information back and forth than a lot of individual threads where we may be jumping all over the place.

    FYI, Ruby Tuesday was created years ago to report our weekly goals. So, if our goal was to go from daily drinking to 3x a week, we would list that as our goal on Sunday or Monday and then the following week we would share if we met our goal and if not, try to determine why not. It was devised to take the place of a weekly face to face meeting. It has waxed and waned with people posting on it but it's a good thread, esp. for newbies to make goals, and evaluate progress on a weekly basis. Check it out here:

    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f3...ng-41622.html:

    Also, for newbies, most people old and new post in the long term thread. Can't remember the original reason, it may have had to do with the linking system, e.g. messages would go to phones from the long term thread but not the monthly so a person didn't see the new posts there. Not sure if things have changed re that but that's why that area is kind of lifeless. Some of us try to check it out more often to catch newbies but some fall through the cracks.

    Finally, the mod forum is the place where you will not be judged, and hopefully will not get any condescending or judgmental replies from anyone. This is the place where we believe in a different philosophy which is, "Yes, some people can moderate". This is not an all or nothing approach here and you can feel free to test the waters of moderation if that is what you want to do. For newbies, you may want to check out this site if you are thinking of moderating for the first time: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f3...ate-68441.html
    Well, let's keep marching on! April will be here before we know it.

    :l
    Eve11
    "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

    ~Jack Welsh~:h

    God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

    #2
    March Monthly Moderation

    Thanks Eve! This helps clear the waters a bit for a newb like me. I probably would have started a couple of fewer threads but I was sort of observing what was being done. Some of the threads by various members might not be in the right forum. Seems to be a bit messy but still great reading. Thanks to all!

    Comment


      #3
      March Monthly Moderation

      Eve

      I may be the only one to contribute to this thread which I know was created a bit late in the month. Today is the 4th day this week AF. I had a glass of wine last Monday evening. Based on my moderation "approach" outlined in my thread, I'm allowing myself a couple of drinks this evening.

      Funny thing is, I'm not sure I will. I might. I might not. It's part of this growing "indifference" I mentioned in my revival of an older thread by LibraryGirl. I'm just not saying to myself " Boy, I can't wait until the cocktail hour this evening".

      I've been reading a few books lately on Morita Therapy and Buddhism. I'm learning more and more about quieting the "monkey mind" and about detachment. I'm learning that when I have a quick thought flash across my mind like " Hey, it would be nice to have a cocktail", such as has happened a couple of nights this week, that I can observe the thought for what it is: just a thing. A thing separate from me that my my mind conjured up out of habit. A thing that I am learning to observe as I would a lethal organism in a Petri dish to see what it's going to do...and then...watch it just fade away from my consciousness as I move on to another more productive and useful thought. I am not necessarily my mind. My essence can transcend my default thinking. Hopefully this makes sense to some. I really recommend for the less spiritual among us to learn more about Morita Therapy.

      Comment


        #4
        March Monthly Moderation

        freethinker,

        I am definitely going to google it as I like what you are saying. I don't know about buddhism well but there are certain things I have heard about it that are awesome. I have always been very eclectic in my spiritual thinking. Love Eastern as well as Western philosophy. I have a mind like a parachute - open...so am always interested in learning new things. Totally like the "monkey mind" detachment concept. How much easier it sounds to remove something negative from our lives when we are detached from it. Thanks for your words of wisdom today freethinker and I'll be *seeing* you.

        :l
        Eve11
        "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

        ~Jack Welsh~:h

        God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

        Comment


          #5
          March Monthly Moderation

          Hi, Freethinker and Eve11,
          I also am very glad, Eve, you posted the note about Monthly Moderation, and I hope I didn't mess things up with my original thread at the beginning of the month. I KNEW I was in the moderation forum, and posted here on purpose, because I really do want to moderate. However, I know that a good moderator (funny... sounds like a board meeting) starts with a 30 AF, and so that's what I needed to do. I am glad you have been posting on that thread. It made me feel welcome.

          Freethinker, I like your thoughts about monkey mind, etc. I have done a bit of study with Buddhism, have tried (unsuccessfully) many times to meditate. I have found my best meditation to happen on long training walk/runs, when my brain turns off and lets my body do the thinking.

          I feel like a little puppy, today, wagging my tail and looking up hopefully saying "Please like me! Please please please like me!" Thank you all for being here. And thank you for giving me hope that I can live a life of moderation.

          (Okay, here's another funny thing. Back when I was studying Buddhism in college, our favorite thing to say was "Moderation in all things, including moderation." Which of course we took as license to over-indulge once in awhile... once in awhile too often.)

          Comment


            #6
            March Monthly Moderation

            " A thing that I am learning to observe as I would a lethal organism in a Petri dish to see what it's going to do...and then...watch it just fade away from my consciousness as I move on to another more productive and useful thought."

            Freethinker I love this idea. Usually I debate with my urges but that can just get so tiring sometimes, so I'm going to try your method instead and see how it works for me. The more tools we have in the toolbelt the better. :thumbs:

            Comment


              #7
              March Monthly Moderation

              drinkingal;1482192 wrote: " A thing that I am learning to observe as I would a lethal organism in a Petri dish to see what it's going to do...and then...watch it just fade away from my consciousness as I move on to another more productive and useful thought."

              Freethinker I love this idea. Usually I debate with my urges but that can just get so tiring sometimes, so I'm going to try your method instead and see how it works for me. The more tools we have in the toolbelt the better. :thumbs:
              Hi DG,

              I view my mind like a theater with an audience made up of my sub-personalities, one of which happens to be "the drinker". He's the lethal organism. My "true essence" is the master personality up on the stage as the "ring leader' who oversees, gives permission to, or otherwise babysits the sub-personalities.

              When "the drinker" wants to get up on the stage and be the center of attention, he's ignored, gets bored, and just slips out of the theater for a while. The problem is he always returns. Sometimes this keeps "true essence" a little busier than I'd like. But remember, this is a daily journey.

              P.S. This post is not an admission of schizophrenia.

              Comment


                #8
                March Monthly Moderation

                freethinker;1483080 wrote: Hi DG,

                I view my mind like a theater with an audience made up of my sub-personalities, one of which happens to be "the drinker". He's the lethal organism. My "true essence" is the master personality up on the stage as the "ring leader' who oversees, gives permission to, or otherwise babysits the sub-personalities.

                When "the drinker" wants to get up on the stage and be the center of attention, he's ignored, gets bored, and just slips out of the theater for a while. The problem is he always returns. Sometimes this keeps "true essence" a little busier than I'd like. But remember, this is a daily journey.

                P.S. This post is not an admission of schizophrenia.
                Haha :H Great post and I like the whole word picture/analogy. Thanks for giving me a totally new perspective of how to view things.

                :l
                Eve11
                "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                ~Jack Welsh~:h

                God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                Comment

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