Morning afternoon and evening everyone...and how are we today?Bit cold over here but the sun is shining so fingers crossed, might be another nice day.Out early on a weekday jaunt tomorrow so I wont be able to start the thread..so job available..apply within!
So far keeping my weight at the 11.6/.7 mark...thats even with some strange eating habits!!Lav you know how your fav sweet was jelly beans? well mine is chocolate white mice..a mere 26 cals in each sweet! Julie bought me a packet the other day....and someone ate the lot in one foul swoop!!!oh well it happens
Right here we go on with the show..middle of the week already!!Tea,coffee and genuine tap water available
Morning Lav..how are you today?Glad Will is getting better even though it is slowly...methinks little man will be well spoiled along the road to recovery!!!as for tracing the source ..could be anything really ,food, animal airborne something he has touched/picked up..hopefully they will be able to trace the source, Im sure he will be alright with the Granny eye on him
Long road..big brew ..here you are ..have a good day
Morning Kuya..and how are you today? well what was work like yesterday? Knackered afterwards?Talking about kids hanging on....my daughter has just finished her exams.and is waiting for the results to come back ..she has got some written work results back already ..mid 60s plus..all her practical work in the hospitals...think the lowest she got was 94%.She had to go and see the Head honcho midwife the other day..they reckon she may be dyslexic and are sending her for tests!!!!!WTF..how come this wasnt discovered eons ago at school.It wont affect her midwifery career but it just amazes me how come it wasnt picked up years ago!!
Anyway ,what plans have you for today? work or is it the mad end to the hols? have a good one
Morning Nurdl..you having a new house built?:H the amount of people there! hope you are ok
Morning Cat ..how are you ? keep that smile on
good for you ..get stuck into that garden..As for strawberries...got 36 plants in containers ..6 x6 each kind..objective is to make sur madam can watch the tennis with our home grown strawbs..so far it has worked..apart from me and the rabbits eating them!!
Morning SL....wow what a great job..that must be so satisfying,knowing that out of tragedy, you are helping to help someone else..My ex boss, who is now a very good friend of mine had to have a heart transplant..weird really ...he had a heart attack then I had a stroke,he waited for about 18 months then I remember him phoning me up about 2 in the morning saying he was off to hosp,as they had found a donor match.Since then he is as fit as a butchers dog.
Isnt it strange..helping others to build their lives..and yet at the same time trying to fk up our own!!!You go for 60 ..you dont need al :yay::wd:
Morning BHOG..and how are you this morning ? bright and breezy ready to take the world on? go for it
Morning ppqp :l and a cuppa..hope you are feeling a wee bit better today..any plans or just seeing what happens? you take it easy
Well sunshine is out so off to let the wabbits out..take care and have a great day everyone
TRUE STORY
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
A man with no ears is trying to find a new reporter for their news show. The first candidate walks in, and the boss says, "This job requires you to notice a lot of details. What is one thing you notice about me?" The guy says, "Well damn! You got no ears man!" So the boss yells, "Get out!" The second candidate comes in, and the boss says, "This job requires you to notice a lot of details. What is something you notice about me?" The guy says, "That's easy, you got no ears!" So the boss says, "Get out!" As the second candidate leaves he sees the third candidate about to go in and says, "The boss has no ears so don't say anything about them, cause he is really sensitive about it." So the third candidate goes in and the boss says, "This job requires you to notice a lot of details. What do you notice about me?" The guy says, "Your wearing contacts!"And the boss says, "Yeah, how did you know?" So the guy replies, "Well you aint got no ears
Q. What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a redneck divorce all have in common? A. Someone's going to lose their trailer...
Question: What is every Amish woman's private fantasy? Answer: Two Mennonite!
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?Everyone has the same DNA.
A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink.The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness."The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table."The Russian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid.""That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you actually been there?""No," the Russian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time."
ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON
Dearest Redneck Son, I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain...we haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle.The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Ted fell in a whisky vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned.We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened. Love, Mom
What goes: Clip Clop Clip Clop BANG Clipidy Clop Clipidy Clop?An Amish drive-by shooting.
How come nobody from Mexico is ever in the olympics?Because everybody that can Run, Jump, and Swim is already over here
An Australian joke...St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo's stroll up."Your names aren't on today's list... let me go and ask the Boss" he says.In God's office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo's, and Godtells Peter to go and tell them to fuck right off.St Peter takes his leave. 5 minutes later St Peter runs back into the room and says "they're gone"God says "the Abo's? Good". and St Peter replies... "NO THE PEARLY GATES!!!".
A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry."I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest", said the eldest daughter. He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest", said the second daughter. He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground", said the youngest daughter.
How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight?He enters a duck.How can you tell if a Pole is present? He bets money on the duck.How can you tell if an Italian is present?The duck wins.
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."*
A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What part?" the mother asked. "I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied. "Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!
So far keeping my weight at the 11.6/.7 mark...thats even with some strange eating habits!!Lav you know how your fav sweet was jelly beans? well mine is chocolate white mice..a mere 26 cals in each sweet! Julie bought me a packet the other day....and someone ate the lot in one foul swoop!!!oh well it happens
Right here we go on with the show..middle of the week already!!Tea,coffee and genuine tap water available
Morning Lav..how are you today?Glad Will is getting better even though it is slowly...methinks little man will be well spoiled along the road to recovery!!!as for tracing the source ..could be anything really ,food, animal airborne something he has touched/picked up..hopefully they will be able to trace the source, Im sure he will be alright with the Granny eye on him
Long road..big brew ..here you are ..have a good dayMorning Kuya..and how are you today? well what was work like yesterday? Knackered afterwards?Talking about kids hanging on....my daughter has just finished her exams.and is waiting for the results to come back ..she has got some written work results back already ..mid 60s plus..all her practical work in the hospitals...think the lowest she got was 94%.She had to go and see the Head honcho midwife the other day..they reckon she may be dyslexic and are sending her for tests!!!!!WTF..how come this wasnt discovered eons ago at school.It wont affect her midwifery career but it just amazes me how come it wasnt picked up years ago!!
Anyway ,what plans have you for today? work or is it the mad end to the hols? have a good one
Morning Nurdl..you having a new house built?:H the amount of people there! hope you are ok
Morning Cat ..how are you ? keep that smile on
good for you ..get stuck into that garden..As for strawberries...got 36 plants in containers ..6 x6 each kind..objective is to make sur madam can watch the tennis with our home grown strawbs..so far it has worked..apart from me and the rabbits eating them!!Morning SL....wow what a great job..that must be so satisfying,knowing that out of tragedy, you are helping to help someone else..My ex boss, who is now a very good friend of mine had to have a heart transplant..weird really ...he had a heart attack then I had a stroke,he waited for about 18 months then I remember him phoning me up about 2 in the morning saying he was off to hosp,as they had found a donor match.Since then he is as fit as a butchers dog.
Isnt it strange..helping others to build their lives..and yet at the same time trying to fk up our own!!!You go for 60 ..you dont need al :yay::wd:
Morning BHOG..and how are you this morning ? bright and breezy ready to take the world on? go for it
Morning ppqp :l and a cuppa..hope you are feeling a wee bit better today..any plans or just seeing what happens? you take it easy
Well sunshine is out so off to let the wabbits out..take care and have a great day everyone
TRUE STORY
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage.A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
A man with no ears is trying to find a new reporter for their news show. The first candidate walks in, and the boss says, "This job requires you to notice a lot of details. What is one thing you notice about me?" The guy says, "Well damn! You got no ears man!" So the boss yells, "Get out!" The second candidate comes in, and the boss says, "This job requires you to notice a lot of details. What is something you notice about me?" The guy says, "That's easy, you got no ears!" So the boss says, "Get out!" As the second candidate leaves he sees the third candidate about to go in and says, "The boss has no ears so don't say anything about them, cause he is really sensitive about it." So the third candidate goes in and the boss says, "This job requires you to notice a lot of details. What do you notice about me?" The guy says, "Your wearing contacts!"And the boss says, "Yeah, how did you know?" So the guy replies, "Well you aint got no ears
Q. What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a redneck divorce all have in common? A. Someone's going to lose their trailer...
Question: What is every Amish woman's private fantasy? Answer: Two Mennonite!
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?Everyone has the same DNA.
A Russian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink.The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness."The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table."The Russian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Gouvstof's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid.""That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you actually been there?""No," the Russian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time."
ARKANSAS MOTHER WRITES HER SON
Dearest Redneck Son, I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain...we haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle.The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Ted fell in a whisky vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned.We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened. Love, Mom
What goes: Clip Clop Clip Clop BANG Clipidy Clop Clipidy Clop?An Amish drive-by shooting.
How come nobody from Mexico is ever in the olympics?Because everybody that can Run, Jump, and Swim is already over here
An Australian joke...St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo's stroll up."Your names aren't on today's list... let me go and ask the Boss" he says.In God's office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo's, and Godtells Peter to go and tell them to fuck right off.St Peter takes his leave. 5 minutes later St Peter runs back into the room and says "they're gone"God says "the Abo's? Good". and St Peter replies... "NO THE PEARLY GATES!!!".
A Chinese man had three daughters; he asked his eldest daughter what kind of man she would like to marry."I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his chest", said the eldest daughter. He then asked his second daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his chest", said the second daughter. He finally asked his youngest daughter whom she would like to marry. "I would like to marry a man with one draggin' on the ground", said the youngest daughter.
How can you tell if an Irishman is present at a cock fight?He enters a duck.How can you tell if a Pole is present? He bets money on the duck.How can you tell if an Italian is present?The duck wins.
A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I'll show you how."*
A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What part?" the mother asked. "I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied. "Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!
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