mae everyone ..and how are we today?another weekend looming on the horizon ,so get your plans put together for it.
Lets make a start got to get on!! Tea and coffee on the go..also lemon water for anyone that wants it..yep back on that kick again !!
Evening TT..how you doing today?Still pretty busy? dont forget your "me" time ..now chill and have a cuppa!!
morning ltlw..how are you today?how was the gym yesterday? you got that mode back on? sometimes all it takes is a wee nudge in the right direction to get you re-motivated...just like quitting drinking!!..results are the same really..improved health.Hows the painting doing?you have a great day
morning Cinders..and how are you today? how many cups so far ? Im on no2 now..oh and lemon water.Glad you are settling in here its a good place to get serious and quit..you can do it. Interesting thing you mentioned about the list...good idea that..not ever been to AA,I cant comment but that certainly seems like a good idea
Morning ppqp..well dirt shifting day today is it for you?hope the weather holds for you..dont forget the virtual diary..heres a coffee to get you on your way
Evening KY.....or should I say Ruth (Madoc)..take it you remember all that :H So hows your evening going?what are yo up to?
Yes you are right...we do need core values..doesnt that sound like corporate image shite??? :H ok we need standards ,and I for one have got very few,but those I have I will not break,irrespective of cost..I would try and work round and through it all.there is not a single objective that can only be tackled from one direction only.You not gyming n swimming mate?
Morning Lav..thanks for the pic..wow fair pile to shift..one large brew for you..good plan getting son over to crack into it...lots of greenery there musta had some rain!!looks a nice quiet place
morning Cat..what a lovely story....Col RJ certainly left his mark and impressed you..mind you with his background and military history,I would imagine there are a few more who would be impressed by the man..he certainly did his bit for America....read his military history..you may a lready know it seeing as your dad was in it too !! could do with trading you some Georgian sandy soil for some peat and clay from up here on the moors!!My influence in gardening was def my dad.28 years in the Navy,he came out ..gardening and marine engines were his hobbies ..as well as a source of food for us.As I recall,we were never that close,but I did respect the man and always will.So Cat..next time you are on a downer..take yourself off into the garden and let it work its magic on you.
Hiya Det hows the appendix today?just take it easy n be careful!yep coud do with some of your sand too..get some carrots going!!
right peeps thats it.......have a great day whether you are shifting soil/mulch, working or just dossing..have a good one
A really drunk guy at a party walks up to the host and asks, “Do you have some green toilet paper that says, ‘Fuck you’?”
The host, stunned, answers, “Of course I don’t have any greentoilet paper that says, ‘Fuck you.’”
“Oh, no!” the drunk cries. “I’m really sorry…I think I just wiped my ass with your parrot.”
This guy sticks his head into a crowded barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop at all the customers and says, "About two hours," and the guy leaves.
Every day, the same guy pokes his head in at the busiest time, and every day he’s told there’s a long wait and he leaves. Finally, after about two weeks of this, the barber looks over at a buddy and says, "Bill, why don’t you follow that guy and see where he goes?"
In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.
"Well?" says the barber. "So where does he go?"
"To your house."
A Texas farmer vacationing in Australia meets an Aussie farmer, who shows the Texan his wheat field.
“Oh, we’ve got wheat fields twice as large back home,” boasts the Texan.
They walk to another field, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.
“Oh, we have longhorns that are twice as big,” says the braggart.
A little while later, the Texan spots a couple of kangaroos hopping across a field. “What the hell are those?” he asks.
“What?” says the Aussie. “Aintcha got grasshoppers in Texas?”
Daniel turned very ill and was on his deathbed.
His wife sat at the bedside holding his hand, praying silently. He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother."
"I know," she replied. "Now just be still and let the poison work."
oe is walking down the street when he sees Neil Armstrong coming toward him.
Joe says, "Hey, you're Neil Armstrong, aren't you?"
Neil says, "Yes, I am."
"Man, you're my biggest hero," Joe says, "and that speech you gave about one small step for man and one giant leap for mankind was just awe-inspiring."
"You have to understand something about that speech," Neil says. "Back then, communications weren't that good and that's not what I said."
"Well, what did you say?" Joe asks.
"I said, 'That's one small step for man and one giant leap for Dan Rind.'"
Joe is confused and asks, "Who the hell is Dan Rind?"
"Well, he's my next-door neighbor," Neil says.
"What the hell has he got to do with anything?" Joe asks.
"You see," Neil says, "about three months before the launch, I was walking past Dan's open bedroom window when I heard his wife exclaim, 'They'll put a man on the moon before you stick that in my mouth.'"
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: “So, where y’all from?”
The girl from New York said: “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.”
The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: “So, where y’all from, BITCH?”
A man gets on a plane and takes his seat, only to realize that the occupant of the seat next to him is a parrot. The plane takes off and after some minutes a stewardess approaches. “Can I get you anything, sir?” she asks the man.
“Yes, I’ll have a coffee, please, when you have a minute. Thank you.”
“And for you, sir?” she asks the parrot.
“A double whiskey and Coke, bitch, and make it quick, I’m fucking thirsty!” demands the parrot.
The stewardess returns a few minutes later with the parrot’s drink, which he snatches without a word.
“Excuse me,” says the man, “but I ordered a coffee.”
“Did you, sir? I’m sorry, I'll get you one right away.”
As the stewardess turns to get the coffee, the parrot finishes his drink and shouts: “I want another double whiskey and Coke, you stupid whore. Quick, you fucking bitch, I can’t wait all night!”
Again the stewardess returns with the parrot’s drink and without the coffee. Naturally the man thinks the only way he is going to get any service is to adopt the attitude of his fellow passenger.
“Listen here you stupid skank,” he says to the stewardess, “I want my fucking coffee and I want it now, you dumb slut!”
Two minutes later the stewardess returns, but this time with two enormous security guards, who drag the man and the parrot to the back of the plane, open the door and throw them out.
As they hurtle toward ground, the parrot turns to the man and says, “You're a bit of a lippy bastard for someone who can’t fly, aren't you!”
On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a New York Yankees jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.
As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Boston Red Sox jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious Yankees fan from the water. Then using autographed Manny Ramirez baseball bats, the three Beantown heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.
Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between Red Sox and Yankee fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth."
As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, "Who was that?"
"It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing…how's the bait holding up?"
An old man and a lady walked into a fast food joint and ordered one hamburger, one order of french fries, and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the french fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip, and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat a few bites of his hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine—they were used to sharing everything.
The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."
As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over and once again offered to buy more food. After once again having his offer refused, he finally asked the little old lady, "What is it you are waiting for?"
She anwsered, "The teeth."
Lets make a start got to get on!! Tea and coffee on the go..also lemon water for anyone that wants it..yep back on that kick again !!
Evening TT..how you doing today?Still pretty busy? dont forget your "me" time ..now chill and have a cuppa!!
morning ltlw..how are you today?how was the gym yesterday? you got that mode back on? sometimes all it takes is a wee nudge in the right direction to get you re-motivated...just like quitting drinking!!..results are the same really..improved health.Hows the painting doing?you have a great day
morning Cinders..and how are you today? how many cups so far ? Im on no2 now..oh and lemon water.Glad you are settling in here its a good place to get serious and quit..you can do it. Interesting thing you mentioned about the list...good idea that..not ever been to AA,I cant comment but that certainly seems like a good idea
Morning ppqp..well dirt shifting day today is it for you?hope the weather holds for you..dont forget the virtual diary..heres a coffee to get you on your way
Evening KY.....or should I say Ruth (Madoc)..take it you remember all that :H So hows your evening going?what are yo up to?
Yes you are right...we do need core values..doesnt that sound like corporate image shite??? :H ok we need standards ,and I for one have got very few,but those I have I will not break,irrespective of cost..I would try and work round and through it all.there is not a single objective that can only be tackled from one direction only.You not gyming n swimming mate?
Morning Lav..thanks for the pic..wow fair pile to shift..one large brew for you..good plan getting son over to crack into it...lots of greenery there musta had some rain!!looks a nice quiet place
morning Cat..what a lovely story....Col RJ certainly left his mark and impressed you..mind you with his background and military history,I would imagine there are a few more who would be impressed by the man..he certainly did his bit for America....read his military history..you may a lready know it seeing as your dad was in it too !! could do with trading you some Georgian sandy soil for some peat and clay from up here on the moors!!My influence in gardening was def my dad.28 years in the Navy,he came out ..gardening and marine engines were his hobbies ..as well as a source of food for us.As I recall,we were never that close,but I did respect the man and always will.So Cat..next time you are on a downer..take yourself off into the garden and let it work its magic on you.
Hiya Det hows the appendix today?just take it easy n be careful!yep coud do with some of your sand too..get some carrots going!!
right peeps thats it.......have a great day whether you are shifting soil/mulch, working or just dossing..have a good one
A really drunk guy at a party walks up to the host and asks, “Do you have some green toilet paper that says, ‘Fuck you’?”
The host, stunned, answers, “Of course I don’t have any greentoilet paper that says, ‘Fuck you.’”
“Oh, no!” the drunk cries. “I’m really sorry…I think I just wiped my ass with your parrot.”
This guy sticks his head into a crowded barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looks around the shop at all the customers and says, "About two hours," and the guy leaves.
Every day, the same guy pokes his head in at the busiest time, and every day he’s told there’s a long wait and he leaves. Finally, after about two weeks of this, the barber looks over at a buddy and says, "Bill, why don’t you follow that guy and see where he goes?"
In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically.
"Well?" says the barber. "So where does he go?"
"To your house."
A Texas farmer vacationing in Australia meets an Aussie farmer, who shows the Texan his wheat field.
“Oh, we’ve got wheat fields twice as large back home,” boasts the Texan.
They walk to another field, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.
“Oh, we have longhorns that are twice as big,” says the braggart.
A little while later, the Texan spots a couple of kangaroos hopping across a field. “What the hell are those?” he asks.
“What?” says the Aussie. “Aintcha got grasshoppers in Texas?”
Daniel turned very ill and was on his deathbed.
His wife sat at the bedside holding his hand, praying silently. He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother."
"I know," she replied. "Now just be still and let the poison work."
oe is walking down the street when he sees Neil Armstrong coming toward him.
Joe says, "Hey, you're Neil Armstrong, aren't you?"
Neil says, "Yes, I am."
"Man, you're my biggest hero," Joe says, "and that speech you gave about one small step for man and one giant leap for mankind was just awe-inspiring."
"You have to understand something about that speech," Neil says. "Back then, communications weren't that good and that's not what I said."
"Well, what did you say?" Joe asks.
"I said, 'That's one small step for man and one giant leap for Dan Rind.'"
Joe is confused and asks, "Who the hell is Dan Rind?"
"Well, he's my next-door neighbor," Neil says.
"What the hell has he got to do with anything?" Joe asks.
"You see," Neil says, "about three months before the launch, I was walking past Dan's open bedroom window when I heard his wife exclaim, 'They'll put a man on the moon before you stick that in my mouth.'"
A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: “So, where y’all from?”
The girl from New York said: “From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.”
The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: “So, where y’all from, BITCH?”
A man gets on a plane and takes his seat, only to realize that the occupant of the seat next to him is a parrot. The plane takes off and after some minutes a stewardess approaches. “Can I get you anything, sir?” she asks the man.
“Yes, I’ll have a coffee, please, when you have a minute. Thank you.”
“And for you, sir?” she asks the parrot.
“A double whiskey and Coke, bitch, and make it quick, I’m fucking thirsty!” demands the parrot.
The stewardess returns a few minutes later with the parrot’s drink, which he snatches without a word.
“Excuse me,” says the man, “but I ordered a coffee.”
“Did you, sir? I’m sorry, I'll get you one right away.”
As the stewardess turns to get the coffee, the parrot finishes his drink and shouts: “I want another double whiskey and Coke, you stupid whore. Quick, you fucking bitch, I can’t wait all night!”
Again the stewardess returns with the parrot’s drink and without the coffee. Naturally the man thinks the only way he is going to get any service is to adopt the attitude of his fellow passenger.
“Listen here you stupid skank,” he says to the stewardess, “I want my fucking coffee and I want it now, you dumb slut!”
Two minutes later the stewardess returns, but this time with two enormous security guards, who drag the man and the parrot to the back of the plane, open the door and throw them out.
As they hurtle toward ground, the parrot turns to the man and says, “You're a bit of a lippy bastard for someone who can’t fly, aren't you!”
On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore. A helpless man, wearing a New York Yankees jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.
As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Boston Red Sox jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious Yankees fan from the water. Then using autographed Manny Ramirez baseball bats, the three Beantown heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.
Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between Red Sox and Yankee fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth."
As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, "Who was that?"
"It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."
"Well," the harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing…how's the bait holding up?"
An old man and a lady walked into a fast food joint and ordered one hamburger, one order of french fries, and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the french fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip, and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat a few bites of his hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine—they were used to sharing everything.
The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."
As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over and once again offered to buy more food. After once again having his offer refused, he finally asked the little old lady, "What is it you are waiting for?"
She anwsered, "The teeth."
PPQP
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