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    Chef's Story

    I didn't start drinking heavily until I moved overseas with my now ex-husband. He was physically and emotionally abusive, and I began drinking as a way of dealing with it. When I finally made the choice to leave after 2 and a half years, I unfortunately, didn't leave behind my drinking problem. When I got back home, my sister and I spent A LOT of our time (and $$) going out and getting completely wasted. I've done so many stupid things while being drunk . . . one-night stands - Thank God I didn't contract anything, b/c protection wasn't always used . . . STUPID!!! However, still that didn't stop me. It wasn't until I started dating a guy who didn't drink much or smoke (I smoke, too), and I cleaned up my act for a couple of months . . . then he moved, and I picked up right where I left off, but without the one-night stands. I had been working and going to school, so I became a little more calm in my actions, but the drinking was still going strong.

    In March of '99, I met my future husband at a . . . suprise . . . bar. A roomate of his worked for a beer distributing company, so needless to say, there was always "out of date" beer on hand. We did a lot of "partying," until he and I bought our first house. We didn't go out as much together, but I went out with my sister and best-friend, and it worked out fine. Then we moved a few hours away, and I started a new university and would to my parent's house on the W/E, and my sister and I would go out and get drunk. Once again, I would end up fooling around with men, but justified it by saying, "We're not married yet, and I didn't have sex with the guy," . . . you get the picture. So, in a few years, he and I got married and continued our drinking habits. As a result of drinking, we almost divorced . . . I was caught cheating . . . and I was drunk. In addition, he confessed to me that he had cheated as well with a dancer. As you can see alcohol had lead to some bad decisions, but we chose to work it out. Well, a few months after that, we found out that we were going to have a baby, and my emotions weren't those of joy, but those of dread - what was I going to do now that I couldn't drink or smoke for nine months? I won't lie and say I didn't drink or smoke b/c I did, but not like I had been doing - which is what I told myself. Even now, I'm racked with so much guilt about doing that, but God blessed us with a healthy 8 lb girl (who's now a little over two years old and doing fine).

    To make a long story short, I picked up where I left off . . . again, and it's not easy to care for a toddler while having a hangover. I'm a stay at home mom and have my own business, so I don't get out too much. My husband goes out to watch sports . . . I encourage this so he doesn't see how much I actually drink, but I tell him that I can't bare to see or hear any sports related program. Meanwhile, I can easily drink one of those big bottles of wine and half of another and smoke two packs of cigarrettes. Lately, though, my ears have began ringing, and I looked it up - "excessive alcohol or carbonated beverage intake" is one of the causes . . . and I don't drink soda. In addition, I've been sweating a lot more.

    Yesterday, I started taking chantix to help me stop smoking, and I've decided to cut back dramatically on drinking or maybe just stop for a while. If I stay at this rate, there's no telling how much longer I'll live, and I don't want to end up like my father (an alcoholic), who's riddled with so many health problems I'm amazed the man still walks and talks. So, here's to my and your success. God Bless. :h

    #2
    Chef's Story

    Hi Chef,

    Your story really touched me its so honest and raw that i feel your pain....i wont profess to having any magic cure or answers for you...I just wanna let you know that im here for you as im sure are many others. You have taken the first step which is really brave....stick around, read as much as you can here and ask whatever questions you need to, there will always be someone here to help you...love and good luck

    Lou-Lou x x x x x
    "Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around"...Penelope Cruz...Vanilla Sky

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      #3
      Chef's Story

      Thank you so much. I thank God that I stumbled across this site . . . though I don't believe it was an accident, it was meant to be. I look forward to getting back my life!

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        #4
        Chef's Story

        Hi & Welcome Chef:

        Read the book/take the supps or the Topa or Campral ~they help with cravings/listen to the cds/ and read the posts. We all have tweaked the program to suit our needs. Here you'll find a diverse group with much to share and lots of support!

        Glad you found us!
        :flower: Change a life; make someone feel important. ................. ........................ ..................... ........................ ................. ....... sigpic

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          #5
          Chef's Story

          I'm with you

          Chef, I am brand-new to this, too, and have 2 small boys. Most of my daily/heavier drinking began after the first child. Thank God, they are both under 4 and won't remember Mommy acting strangely!

          I had about 20 days of no drinks, then binged on 2 seperate occasions. I found this program & plan to go on the Topomax and have been attending a great yoga class regularly. Time to spend healthy focus on myself has helped. There is no doubt, though, that the stress and incredible responsibility of having kids has affected me and my past way to cope was to drink...have had too many hung mornings and really made the fatigue worse by drinking- so sad.

          Hope you and I can really make a positive change. Best to you & family-

          Phelen

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            #6
            Chef's Story

            Chef, thank you for your honesty and welcome. I can remember when I came here I was also at such a low point. I also have small children and felt so bad for them about the volume I was drinking. I encouraged my husband to go out more just so he wouldn't be home and I could get on with my own thing.
            I am glad you found us and I hope that you stick around. You will find a lot of support. I will tell you that I've been here for awhile and I've had my ups and downs. However since I have found this group of people my ups have been more frequent. The support here is amazing. Just keep talking. I have gotten my drinking to a point that I remember my evenings now. I used to pass out and wake up the next day and lie there trying to remember putting the kids to bed. I was filled with shame and embarrassment.
            Not anymore. I wake up feeling proud of myself and so can you.
            Again, welcome and I wish you best of luck on this journey!
            "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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              #7
              Chef's Story

              Thank you both for the encouragement!

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                #8
                Chef's Story

                Thank you so much

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                  #9
                  Chef's Story

                  Hi Chef,
                  Thanks for your story.
                  Drink has a lot to answer for. We make such stupid choices.
                  Over the years, I've come to realise that when I'm sober, my life is generally happy and smooth. When I drink, I make stupid decisions about the way I behave and the things I say. This seems to heap sadness and pain into my life. Fortunately, I'm managing to turn things around with a lot of effort and a lot of help. I'm planning on staying happy from now on; no more bad decisions.
                  We can do this.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Chef's Story

                    Yes Popeye, we all can do this!!
                    "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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                      #11
                      Chef's Story

                      I've received so much support on the first day . . . I'm excited about this choice. Thanks, also, Popeye, I noticed you are in Scotland . . . that's actually where I lived when I was overseas (in Buckie). Beautiful country. Again thanks a bunch for everything. Finding this place is making this better for me and my family.:thanks:

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Chef's Story

                        Hi chef..fab news you have decided to come on this site...many young moms on here too.

                        Fantastic news for you daughter is that you want to clean up your act...dont keep thinking to the past..we all have skeltons in the cupboard! Dont know if you canget hubby on board to cut down with you..my hubby drinks too but somehow we have got to 45 days AF today together..we hope to try moderating one day ie, maybe only drink when we have a meal out with friends,,no more house drinking or whatever we set the plan as.

                        MY close friend also came on board with us and she is 45 days AF too.

                        So for me the things that worked so far are....doing AF with hubby/friend
                        Use this site am and evening for motivation/inspiration and to be accountable to other(my choice)
                        The power of prayer...twice daily quiet prayer (10mins maybe?)not sure if you have a faith?
                        changed my diet.. Eating 5 fruit and veg daily
                        joined weekly exercise group and go walking three or more times a week (to keep the weight down)
                        I know you have atoddler..so free time is limited but how about getting some friends who you dont drink with...toddler group??
                        One evening out at a night class?
                        Then in the "bewitching hours when the cravings set in..worse for me in earlier days..keep busy..play with your daughter,do the garden,clean the cupboards, take a soak in a buble bath...anything except pop that cork!!!!

                        Just little steps ...so maybe just for today???????????Its a fab feeling to feel all "clean"(i used to be a smoker too so i know the pangs that come from the double addictions)

                        Good Luck and if today is the first day...go for it ..you sound as though you have had enough of the old lifestyle anyway....plenty to gain.KEEP POSTING WE ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU.

                        Regards Cassy

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Chef's Story

                          Welcome!

                          :welcome: Chef,

                          It's not going to be easy, but it's worth it! I also used alcohol as a coping tool - but that's such a warped perspective. I put my children in the role of the carer - unfortunately they are old enough to have the memories and I'm trying now to make up for lost time and give them some lasting, good ones of me. Unfortunately you can't buy back time but we can make choices for our future, and believe me, it is so much easier to cope without the alcohol!

                          Great to have you with us - congratulations on this first day of the rest of your life - with help you can carve out a new direction for yourself and your family and leave the destructive path you're on at the moment. Embarassing moments? too many to count - bad decisions? ditto - but good reminders of why things have to change when the going gets tough!

                          Good luck with everything and you know where to find us! :l
                          :rays: Arial

                          Last first day - 15th April 2012
                          Goals:
                          Days 1-7 DONE
                          Days 8-14 DONE
                          Days 15-21 DONE
                          30 days DONE
                          60 days
                          100 days

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                            #14
                            Chef's Story

                            :thanks: I only had 2 glasses of red wine with my dinner last night (and they were the actual serving size as opposed to my BIG glasses!!!), and, boy was it nice to wake up refreshed! I noticed I savored it more instead of downing it as fast as I could. Normally, I sit down at the table with my little girl while she's eating, and I drink , but last night I ate with her (hubby was at work). It was very nice, and I look forward to making that a ritual with her. As for my hubby, he really doesn't drink that much (he also used to be a social smoker, but quit after a particular morning of feeling quite rough - that was about 5 years ago). He has the moderation thing down, now I need to get it b/c I do enjoy a nice shiraz w/smoked ham and boursin cheese (yum) . . . and I will. So thanks to all who have given me such wonderful advice . . . it' will be put to excellent use (and my little hunny-bunny thanks you, too)

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                              #15
                              Chef's Story

                              Good for you Chef!

                              You've made a great start. Do this for yourself and for that precious little one. the book gives you lots of great tools, and these boards give lots of wonderful support. Let is know how it goes!!!
                              Learning to live life on the outside of a bottle. :flower:

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