af daily tuesday 11 June

[bear73]

wow - where does the year go?

Up ready for the day - I'm still feeling anxious - fell asleep listening to relaxation CD last night. I am off to the gym tonight after work, putting gym bag in my car - focus I am giving myself is eliminating my anxiety - that should get me there.

I'm still trying to do too much - Flylady can wait, I will do my own mini version of just 15 minutes per day and leave it at that.The house is looking better than it has in a long time and part of that is OH working on it as well which is good. I think what I am realising is that there are always going to be things on the to do list - at work and at home.

I'm having stinking thinking about not drinking - 'giving up is adding pressure and anxiety'. I think that's about my approach - if I take one day as it comes,and just say 'for now' then that should lessen my pressure.I am also reminding myself that alcohol causes anxiety and depression.

Good day all to come, I am off to do some deep breathing!

[Cinders]

af daily tuesday 11 June

Bear,

My daughter started drinking to relieve anxiety, too. Of course, she ended up just like me.

Lav has recommended an anti-anxiety OTC med. Have you tried it? She really talks it up. I would have gotten it myself except it has a couple of ingredients that could interact with my pharm meds. I take anti-seizure meds, bp meds, she is crazy meds, and now Antabuse, of course. :-)

I am going to order it anyway to give to my girl. I think she is ready for it.

I started to post a tome about my family situation but decided against it. Suffice it to say, my son is going through AWS right now. He is broke and cannot afford to buy any anymore. I gave him two beers yesterday afternoon as he was going through serious DTs and hallucinations. I told him to call me no matter what time and I would bring him another one. He didn't call last night, which thrills me as long as he is okay. I also told his wife she could call if she needed to, as she is a heavy drinker herself, although not quite as bad as my son.

Anyway, I absolutely will not give them money because it will be spent on alcohol and cigarettes. I am taking his wife to Costco today to purchase food for the family in exchange for the massive help they have all been giving me in cleaning up my house, painting, moving heavy things, etc. I am extremely proud of both of my grandsons - 15 and 13- for the help they have been giving us.

I don't know what else to say at this point. I am praying that they will both decide to sober up. He cannot get another job until he is dry.

Understand, these are two loving people. Like me, they are alcoholics, but they are also good people and we get along very well and there is a lot of love here.

I can't even get into my daughter's situation right now, so I will defray on that.

I would appreciate any feedback and thoughts about how best to proceed. I will support them in any and all efforts to get and stay sober. I cannot support them monetarily as hubby and I are very tight since I am not working. But, I can offer love, understanding and my own experiences to help them.

Advice would be greatly appreciated since all here may have ideas to share that could be valuable help.

Waves to all. TT and Mick, stay safe on your journeys. Lav, keep your ex busy working on the mulch. lol. Y@H, get back to dancing, if you can, I have found all this exercise to be invaluable to helping my mood, even though my legs/back/arms ache a lot. :-)

Kuya, I hope you are well and back in fighting shape. Wits End, Maryjo, Cat, Det, SF, Blondie, and hopefully Morrison if you can visit us, stay safe, stay sober, be happy.

(Hmm, sounds like a song. Stay sober, be happy... in a Reggae kind of way.)

Love,
Cindi

[Lavande]

af daily tuesday 11 June

Good morning Abbers!

Thanks for starting us up Cindi!
I'm grateful last night's storms have moved out without leaving any damage. Lost power for a short while but nothing else I am aware of. There was a tornado touch down about 10-11 miles from here, too close for comfort

Cindi, I think you are doing the right thing for your son & his family. You are making sure they are safe but not enabling them & that's important. It has to be hard to see your own kids go through all this let alone your grandkids. They are lucky to have you on their side
I am a poster girl for the OTC Amoryn. I will not take an Rx unless I feel it is absolutely necessary. Nearly 30 years in nursing & seeing what some meds can do to people helped me develop that attitude At this point I get by taking just 1/day but if I feel my mood shifting I take 2/day until things settle down. It is a very effective product without side effects & that makes me happy

TT, CONGRATS to you on your 8 AF months - yay!

bear, you would probably benefit from this herbal supplement as well. I did check a few years ago & you can purchase Amoryn in the UK. It worked wonders for me & helped me walk away from AL without looking back

Greetings to everyone today & sending wishes for a terrific AF Tuesday!
I'm going to spend the day with my girls so I'm happy

Lav

[porqoui]

af daily tuesday 11 June

MAE ALL...

Bear...thanks for kicking us off. When I was going through a rough divorce and my anxiety was through the roof the first question from the Doc was always "Any alcohol?" In the begining there was al involved and boy what a difference when I took that out of the equation. Thank you so much for Flylady. I heard of the site awhile ago and couldn't think of the name. Sorry you're going through the stinking thinking phase, been there, done that. Instead of thinking of it as giving up why not try I'm grateful I don't have to drink anymore. It does sound like you're trying to do too much. Do take those deep breaths and yup "for now" is a good way to go.

Cinders...morning to you. Sorry, don't have any advice for you but I gotta say it sounds like you're looking at things in a positive way. It is very easy to be an inabler without realizing it so good job on that front.

Lav...glad you survived the storm without any damage. The weather sure has been difficult this year. Enjoy your day with your girls.

Off early to work this morning. Notice on the doors they're sweeping the parking lot so all vehicles have to be moved. Waves to our Mickster...have a great AF Tuesday all and all to come...PPQP

[Determinator]

af daily tuesday 11 June

ooooh Roooh ABeroooos!

Cindi, really feeling for you hon xxxxx. I'd say you're doing the best things you can and that's admirable. your kids will make their own decisions when this rollercoaster ride isn't worth it anymore.
at that point your wisdom and experience will be an enormous gift for them.

Lav, power outage yesterday for us also. had a rare but groovy electrical storm. love those!

Bear, being happy and letting go of anxiety can be physiological and a learned psychological discipline as well. I think that both are often the case, and both take time to figure out like a detective. you must have patience and staying power and you'll find the way.

shouts to PQ and all to come

be well

[treetops]

af daily tuesday 11 June

Hi guys will make this quick as Internet is crap. Moved to another place today. Feeling pretty depressed - probably lonely and missing family security and love
People I have been with dont drink a lot but they kind of give me funny looks when I pass on the wine - sort of then ignore me. It's also been tough being a vegetarian so I guess I am not a great dinner companion. Also the very late dinners in Spain dont help my mood. Having bouts of self doubt and insecurity but no desire to drink
But not like me to be so down. Conference starts tomorrow
Take care all and be good!

[bear73]

af daily tuesday 11 June

take care Treetops - it will end - yep Spain love their meat - tortilla is lovely but a bit dull at every meal. Thanks Lav for amoryn tip - I'll check it out - am taking valerian and hops.
I can get a bit obsessive with supplements - I did some exercise 20 minutes in the garden of rebounding,lunges and squats.Feel better for it.

Cinders - you're doing the very best you can for them - and not helping them to spend money on alcohol. Take care of yourself as well.

Det - working on the psychological aspects with CBT - I need to practice patience - i think i try and tackle all of my problems at once - or throw everything at a problem then get fed up when it doesn't work straight away. Wanting instant results is quite common in people who drink/use substances - I can see that in me.

[Solitaire]

af daily tuesday 11 June

Morning from South Africa!
I seldom post here, but I often read...
I popped in now looking for Mick's jokes as I could do with a giggle at 7am!
Cinders, I so feel for you!
My boys are 19 and 17. The eldest drinks the way I did, the 2nd one started "drinking for courage" before going out... And both smoke the green stuff.
I am grateful that I have a programme (AA) to keep me strong, but as far as my kids are concerned, I battle.
At times I want to shout at them: TAKE IT (12 steps) ORALLY OR ANALLY, BUT JUST @#$% TAKE IT!!!
And then the self-loathing and blaming game starts: was it the example they saw in me?
I will not have a drink today, I will be there for my fellow alcoholic (and that includes my kids), and I will just do the next right thing.
Autumn hugs from Sol xxx

[Mick]

af daily tuesday 11 June

Hi all just a quick pop in cinders keep your chin up big hugs to you xxhi lav ppqp be elsear and all

[Cinders]

af daily tuesday 11 June

Solitaire,

Guilt was one of the emotions that kept me going back to the bottle.

I now realize that at 32 and 34, both of my children are making their own choices and I can't do it for them.

The only "blame" involved is perhaps genetic, not much we can do about that.

If it makes you feel any better, neither of my parents drank more than socially and that was not even often. Yet, look at me. On the other hand, aunts and uncles, whom I did not grow up with, btw, were drunks.

Glad AA is helping you, too. It is so nice to be able to talk face-to-face with others and they do help keep me grounded when my brain starts taking off on those wild tangents.

Love,
Cindi

Solitaire;1518677 wrote: Morning from South Africa!
I seldom post here, but I often read...
I popped in now looking for Mick's jokes as I could do with a giggle at 7am!
Cinders, I so feel for you!
My boys are 19 and 17. The eldest drinks the way I did, the 2nd one started "drinking for courage" before going out... And both smoke the green stuff.
I am grateful that I have a programme (AA) to keep me strong, but as far as my kids are concerned, I battle.
At times I want to shout at them: TAKE IT (12 steps) ORALLY OR ANALLY, BUT JUST @#$% TAKE IT!!!
And then the self-loathing and blaming game starts: was it the example they saw in me?
I will not have a drink today, I will be there for my fellow alcoholic (and that includes my kids), and I will just do the next right thing.
Autumn hugs from Sol xxx