I have been struggling with my consumption of alcohol for some time now and have shared my struggles with my children. They all think I do not drink too much but I have, not only a physical attraction to having more than one drink but an emotional repulsion to booze as I have seen all the damage it has done to those I love. So, while I may have a glass or two of wine every few nights, my drinking is not out of control.... but my son's is.
He is 31 and had been single and a heavy binge drinker for the past ten years. He met, inpregnated and has had a child with a fantastic adult child of an alcoholic. The baby is 2 months old, they are in love and both drink too much.
While sober the two of them are so happy together and in the stage where they are happily planning their first Christmas as a family, etc. Last night (and this happens every few weeks or more), they got drunk together and things went from bad to worse. His personality changes completely when he drinks and he drinks dangerous amounts and quickly. He becomes argumentative, surly and rude. She argues back, cries and the baby sleeps through all this. Last night they were at my summer home and I heard the drunken argument that went on until four a.m.
I have tried talking to my son about his drinking and he is in denial although he talks about cutting down. He is an alcoholic by any standards and she is not far behind him having drank a full bottle of wine and a half dozen beers last night.
They are precious to me as, when sober, they are loving, humorous, a team and totally taken with their newborn. I am worried for the physical well-being of the infant more than anything. So far they have not become violent to my knowledge but he raised his voice last night and is a total stranger to me when drunk. I've seen him pick up the baby drunk and rock him awkwardly.
I feel if I could get her onside, she could influence him as they party together and he adores her.
Do I send them both another letter (I've sent him a few which were thrown back in my face)? It would be the first time I addressed the issue with her. If so, what do I say?
Do I take her aside and try to talk to her behind his back. He is so sensitive I could see him withholding my grandson from me as punishment for interfering. I am willing to take that risk but only if it helps.
Please advise...
He is 31 and had been single and a heavy binge drinker for the past ten years. He met, inpregnated and has had a child with a fantastic adult child of an alcoholic. The baby is 2 months old, they are in love and both drink too much.
While sober the two of them are so happy together and in the stage where they are happily planning their first Christmas as a family, etc. Last night (and this happens every few weeks or more), they got drunk together and things went from bad to worse. His personality changes completely when he drinks and he drinks dangerous amounts and quickly. He becomes argumentative, surly and rude. She argues back, cries and the baby sleeps through all this. Last night they were at my summer home and I heard the drunken argument that went on until four a.m.
I have tried talking to my son about his drinking and he is in denial although he talks about cutting down. He is an alcoholic by any standards and she is not far behind him having drank a full bottle of wine and a half dozen beers last night.
They are precious to me as, when sober, they are loving, humorous, a team and totally taken with their newborn. I am worried for the physical well-being of the infant more than anything. So far they have not become violent to my knowledge but he raised his voice last night and is a total stranger to me when drunk. I've seen him pick up the baby drunk and rock him awkwardly.
I feel if I could get her onside, she could influence him as they party together and he adores her.
Do I send them both another letter (I've sent him a few which were thrown back in my face)? It would be the first time I addressed the issue with her. If so, what do I say?
Do I take her aside and try to talk to her behind his back. He is so sensitive I could see him withholding my grandson from me as punishment for interfering. I am willing to take that risk but only if it helps.
Please advise...
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