mae all ..how are we today?bit late for me this..but dont kid yourself..it wasnt a lie in ..been up since daft o clock doing bits and pieces .Just cleaned the rabbits out and now its pouring with rain so no garden for a wee while.Fireplace is in tiled and hasnt fallen down /out ..yet!!!!
ok on we go with the show..tea n coffee on the boil
Evening TT how are you this fine day?how was today at work? noticed that you are on line now , so need to check make sure we dont do 2 posts
Mornin Sam ..how are you ok I hope .yep I hate riding motorcycles in the rain...in fact hate riding them at all..probably due to the fact I cant!!!:H
Hiya ppqp ..how are you today?what are you up to today?so the bridge classes are history now ? best of luck in your new job..hope it all goes well for you..sit down and have a cuppa first.
Hiya Pauly..how are you ? Is the sun still out for you today? Its amazing how better you feel when the sun is out isnt it?
Hiya Cinders ..congratulations on your 5 months ..long may it reign..as for your remark and apologies for it all being you...we all go through that at times ...thats what friends are for so dont worry about it,we have all done it.So what are you up to today?
Hiya LaV..how are you today ..wow your life has certainly emptied now that xtreme babysitting has come to a close!!When do you get the new flock then?here is a large coffee ..was going to say start the day..but its half over!!
HI yah and how are you today?any word on the tenants for the house yet?hopefully it will go right for you
Morning SF..hows things with you today?things ok after your meeting?..and yes we are here :l
right peeps time to go..wont be doing too much today...arm and back are a wee bit sore so wont be doing any heavy lifting..take care all
My new thesaurus is terrible.
It's also terrible.
I've decided to call my bathroom the Jim instead of the John.
It sounds better when I tell folks I go to the Jim every morning.
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."
How do you get a fat girl into bed?
Piece of cake.
I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, clothe, school, and inoculate for 75 cents a day.
Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
'Hey you!'
The koala looked down at him and said,/>'F.CK ME! How much water did you drink!?'
I once dated a girl that collected magazines.
We had to break up because she had too many issues.
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish."
The sunny California sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, and the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man thought for a while, and said, "I want a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges and environmental consequences that kind of undertaking would create. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel would take over thousands of miles! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing!", and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four?"
On a recent visit to Switzerland, a store employee refused to show a purse to Oprah Winfrey saying it was ?too expensive.? Oprah then bought the store, and had the clerk made into a suitcase.
Entrepreneur Elon Musk has unveiled the ?Hyperloop? a high-speed transport system which would allow people to travel from LA to San Francisco at 800 miles per hour. Sure, 800 miles per hour is great and all, but what if you?re in a hurry?
?riding the Hyperloop is easy. You get on, the train accelerates to 800 miles per hour. It stops, you wipe the barf off of your clothes, then go to work.
In Tennessee, a judge has ordered that a baby named ?Messiah?, must be renamed, because only Jesus Christ is the Messiah. The parents said they understood, and went with their second choice, ?The Prince of Darkness.?
Anthony Weiner has trashed the media for publicizing his sexting scandal, and not focusing on his mayoral campaign. To which the press replied, ?You?re running for mayor? Of what city??.
?in order to make sure the public knows his stance on the issues, Anthony Weiner is printing his campaign promises across the front of his underwear.
Scientists in Hawaii have used proteins from jellyfish to create glow-in-the-dark rabbits. It was a huge day for scientists, now they can finally watch rabbits have sex in the dark.
Today, the Department of Justice sued to prevent the merger of US Airways and American Airlines saying it would be too powerful. Strangely, the US government did nothing to block a merger between Arby?s and Fuddruckers.
Samsung unveiled a new TV that can show two different programs at once, a feature they call the ?marriage saver.? Of course Sony is now offering a TV that can show eight different shows at once, which they call ?the marriage preventer.?
In Ohio, an instructor of a gun safety class, accidentally shot a student. The instructor quickly recovered by saying, ?See, that?s what you SHOULDN?T do.?
It?s been rumored that the new, cheaper version of the iPhone, won?t feature Siri. Apple reassured users that despite not having Siri, you can still use voice-to-text mode. Just say your text message out loud, type it in, then hit send.
?when customers asked where Siri went, Apple said she?s still inside the phone, she just refuses to talk to poor people.
r />
ok on we go with the show..tea n coffee on the boil
Evening TT how are you this fine day?how was today at work? noticed that you are on line now , so need to check make sure we dont do 2 posts
Mornin Sam ..how are you ok I hope .yep I hate riding motorcycles in the rain...in fact hate riding them at all..probably due to the fact I cant!!!:H
Hiya ppqp ..how are you today?what are you up to today?so the bridge classes are history now ? best of luck in your new job..hope it all goes well for you..sit down and have a cuppa first.
Hiya Pauly..how are you ? Is the sun still out for you today? Its amazing how better you feel when the sun is out isnt it?
Hiya Cinders ..congratulations on your 5 months ..long may it reign..as for your remark and apologies for it all being you...we all go through that at times ...thats what friends are for so dont worry about it,we have all done it.So what are you up to today?
Hiya LaV..how are you today ..wow your life has certainly emptied now that xtreme babysitting has come to a close!!When do you get the new flock then?here is a large coffee ..was going to say start the day..but its half over!!
HI yah and how are you today?any word on the tenants for the house yet?hopefully it will go right for you
Morning SF..hows things with you today?things ok after your meeting?..and yes we are here :l
right peeps time to go..wont be doing too much today...arm and back are a wee bit sore so wont be doing any heavy lifting..take care all
My new thesaurus is terrible.
It's also terrible.
I've decided to call my bathroom the Jim instead of the John.
It sounds better when I tell folks I go to the Jim every morning.
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."
How do you get a fat girl into bed?
Piece of cake.
I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, clothe, school, and inoculate for 75 cents a day.
Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.
A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, 'Hey Koala! What are you doing?'
The koala said, 'Smoking a joint, come up and have some.'
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints. After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned over too far and fell into the river. A crocodile saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side. Then he asked the little lizard, 'What's the matter with you?'
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he had been sitting with the koala in the tree, smoking a joint, but got too stoned and fell into the river while taking a drink..
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the rain forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting finishing a joint. The crocodile looked up and said,
'Hey you!'
The koala looked down at him and said,/>'F.CK ME! How much water did you drink!?'
I once dated a girl that collected magazines.
We had to break up because she had too many issues.
A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish."
The sunny California sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, and the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man thought for a while, and said, "I want a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges and environmental consequences that kind of undertaking would create. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel would take over thousands of miles! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing!", and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four?"
On a recent visit to Switzerland, a store employee refused to show a purse to Oprah Winfrey saying it was ?too expensive.? Oprah then bought the store, and had the clerk made into a suitcase.
Entrepreneur Elon Musk has unveiled the ?Hyperloop? a high-speed transport system which would allow people to travel from LA to San Francisco at 800 miles per hour. Sure, 800 miles per hour is great and all, but what if you?re in a hurry?
?riding the Hyperloop is easy. You get on, the train accelerates to 800 miles per hour. It stops, you wipe the barf off of your clothes, then go to work.
In Tennessee, a judge has ordered that a baby named ?Messiah?, must be renamed, because only Jesus Christ is the Messiah. The parents said they understood, and went with their second choice, ?The Prince of Darkness.?
Anthony Weiner has trashed the media for publicizing his sexting scandal, and not focusing on his mayoral campaign. To which the press replied, ?You?re running for mayor? Of what city??.
?in order to make sure the public knows his stance on the issues, Anthony Weiner is printing his campaign promises across the front of his underwear.
Scientists in Hawaii have used proteins from jellyfish to create glow-in-the-dark rabbits. It was a huge day for scientists, now they can finally watch rabbits have sex in the dark.
Today, the Department of Justice sued to prevent the merger of US Airways and American Airlines saying it would be too powerful. Strangely, the US government did nothing to block a merger between Arby?s and Fuddruckers.
Samsung unveiled a new TV that can show two different programs at once, a feature they call the ?marriage saver.? Of course Sony is now offering a TV that can show eight different shows at once, which they call ?the marriage preventer.?
In Ohio, an instructor of a gun safety class, accidentally shot a student. The instructor quickly recovered by saying, ?See, that?s what you SHOULDN?T do.?
It?s been rumored that the new, cheaper version of the iPhone, won?t feature Siri. Apple reassured users that despite not having Siri, you can still use voice-to-text mode. Just say your text message out loud, type it in, then hit send.
?when customers asked where Siri went, Apple said she?s still inside the phone, she just refuses to talk to poor people.
r />
Hope you get good news very soon!
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