well folks,
it's here. I have the supps. i have the topamax, i have read the book, if there was a t shirt I am sure I would have that too. And today, arriving home from work i see the CD's have arrived, so there is no excuse. Except that I haven't really got anything to play them on and I don't want to start without that so I will wait until I get something to play them on becaeu nothing we have, and we have probably half a dozen , having three kids in the housre- is right, so I will have to wait for that. Becasue it is really important so it needs to be right, doesn't it. Which might be able to be tomorrow, but we will have to see how things go, won't we as I am not sure if I will be able to go to the shops then. And in the meantime I can carry on drinking too much; not far too much tonight as I have a BIG DAY TOMORROW, but certainly more than is good for me.
I don't know how long i can procrastinate with this, proably twenty years off and on and counting, but i have to take a deep breath and jump in and be prepared to work at it and stick at it and remember why i am doing it; for my health and my live and my children. I don't want to die young so why am i doing this to myself; and given a possible, and I know it is only possible lifeline, why the hesitation ?
A new life, has to involve some grieving got the old one I suppose, no matter what the problesm of that old one are. i remember when I got divorced from a violent man that it took years to think about the value of getting away; weighing up the costs, benefits, emotional ties. all of that. I read a book in the end which helped me make the decions, called "too bad to stay too good to go". For me, i think that a drinkig life, to the extent I do it which it drinking far too much but functioning pretty well within that, is summed up by that title. And if i go through the steps it talked about- those at any rate that I can remember some years on, the themes are similar. Weigh up the benfits, take a deciosn.
Well, i ahve done that, and I know the result. All I have to do now is put it into effct.
i'll let you know.
it's here. I have the supps. i have the topamax, i have read the book, if there was a t shirt I am sure I would have that too. And today, arriving home from work i see the CD's have arrived, so there is no excuse. Except that I haven't really got anything to play them on and I don't want to start without that so I will wait until I get something to play them on becaeu nothing we have, and we have probably half a dozen , having three kids in the housre- is right, so I will have to wait for that. Becasue it is really important so it needs to be right, doesn't it. Which might be able to be tomorrow, but we will have to see how things go, won't we as I am not sure if I will be able to go to the shops then. And in the meantime I can carry on drinking too much; not far too much tonight as I have a BIG DAY TOMORROW, but certainly more than is good for me.
I don't know how long i can procrastinate with this, proably twenty years off and on and counting, but i have to take a deep breath and jump in and be prepared to work at it and stick at it and remember why i am doing it; for my health and my live and my children. I don't want to die young so why am i doing this to myself; and given a possible, and I know it is only possible lifeline, why the hesitation ?
A new life, has to involve some grieving got the old one I suppose, no matter what the problesm of that old one are. i remember when I got divorced from a violent man that it took years to think about the value of getting away; weighing up the costs, benefits, emotional ties. all of that. I read a book in the end which helped me make the decions, called "too bad to stay too good to go". For me, i think that a drinkig life, to the extent I do it which it drinking far too much but functioning pretty well within that, is summed up by that title. And if i go through the steps it talked about- those at any rate that I can remember some years on, the themes are similar. Weigh up the benfits, take a deciosn.
Well, i ahve done that, and I know the result. All I have to do now is put it into effct.
i'll let you know.
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