Very frustrated trying to find a doc

[hablur]

Hello all,

I just spent the entire morning looking for a doctor that could help me in the Kansas City area. Suffice it to say I can't possibly call all of them, but I gave it a good shot. That leaves me with talking with my family doctor, which I really did not want to do as I am ashamed!

I am a bit miffed with my wife as well. I called her to tell her how my search was going and to ask her if I should keep searching or just tell the family doc. Her response was, "arent all the money you spent on suppliments helping? Also, can't you just not buy it? I know you wont drink it if it isnt in the house." Shit I just felt like my knees were cut off. I said that it isnt if there is alcohol in the house I will still buy it and that I really think I need the extra help. She them tells me about all the side effects of Topamax and that I should probably just go to AA. God I feel frinking hurt. Here I am really trying to get this demon under control and I feel like she cares more about the money that the suppliments cost and that AA is the answer. Some friking support!

Another reason why I wont do AA is I travel constantly and I can always take you guys with me, I can't take AA with me. Plus I do not like thier appraoch.

I plan on going to my doc tomorrow armed with as much info on Topamax as I can so I can get going on it as it is covered by my insurance company. Any thoughts and suggestions on appraoch to the doc?

[Guest]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

Good luck Hab, it really does suck when you don't have a support system at home. Rather than your regular doctor have you tried a mental health facility? Or does that bother you? Some people are uncomfortable, but it's a solution.
Smile Please
Mary

[sickofit]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

keep trying hablur I had to try a few doc's before I got my script yesterday....I ended up going to my normal doctor armed with all of the printed out info and explained it from the heart....my script will be ready tomorrow (public holiday here today). My husband is worried that I think it will be my magic pill and I must admit I feel the same way. Not feeling so good today as I came home and celebrated with 2 beers. Come on magic pill.

[sickofit]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

regarding your wife maybe try and explain just how it feels and ask for her help and support (in detail)?

[sidney]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

I went to several Doctors and my own sister in law would not prescript it.
I went to a new doctor and lied about having migranes.
Got it!

[hablur]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

Thanks for the advice sickofit but I dont have much of an option since I am the main caregiver. She suffers from severe Chron's disease, is Bi-Polar, and she most likely has Addison's disease as well (new diagnosis). She can barely take care of our son. The last few nights she hands him off to me immediately when I get home and off she goes to bed. There is a heck of a lot more to this tan a quick response can do justice too so I just did a fast summary.

Basically it doesnt matter what my issue is I have to take care of her and my son first.

[betty boop]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

Oh Hab .....

You really have things coming at you from all angles ......... to someone that has never experienced alcoholism it is difficult, yes if we want it bad enough we WILL go and buy it, sometimes even if it means driving drunk .....

Have you thought about buying it online (the topa I mean) ?? Several people here have done it that way...

All the best to you, love & hugs :h :l :h

[hablur]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

Betty,

I have thought about buying it online but my wife will go through the roof by spending that kind of money. She isnt happy about me spending the money on the suppliments. I don't completely blame her because I have tried numerous times to quite and still havent so she probably thinks it is just another half hearted thing.

I think I am going to suck it up because I would feel better having my family doc keep tabs on me since I have a fatty liver and am on a special chloresterol regimen. What is shame but what we have brought on ourselves. I am starting to think I really don't give a rip what my doc thinks as long as she does what I want. After all it is my life I am trying to fix. Besides I challenge anyone to look me in the eye and say something down to me about drinking when I am trying to stop. That just wouldnt make sense to me. I have been working through all the feelings today has caused me and I am now in the fighting mood. I am going to give the doc all the supporting info and if she wont then she will have lost me as a patient and I will look for someone that will do things that are best for me.

As far as my wife goes she and I will talk more tonight about this. She may not believe in me but I decided I believe in myself, plus I have all of the folks here backing me up. If I fall off the wagon after a bump in the road I know I can pick myself up and you guys will help me too. Thats why I am here.

Thanks again all.

[Bean]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

My dad is a heavy drinker and we were talking last night about MWO and moderating etc. He said that when he says something like 'hey I haven't had a drink for a week', his wife replies 'so what? what's the big deal?'. Not in a nasty way, she just doesn't get how it feels to someone with an alcohol problem and what an achievement even 1AF day can be. Sounds like you and your family have a lot on your plate and I'm not surprised tensions arise. Maybe your wife feels like your drinking habits are a choice rather than a nasty addiction so she wouldn't understand that it's not as simple as just not buying it. Also, maybe she is angry that she suffers illness and you could be seen to be bringing this problem on yourself? (we all know you're not but hope that makes sense). Its very easy to lash out when we feel unsupported and attacked but try being open and honest and loving with her. No one person can be all things to someone else and maybe she will never quite understand what you are going through so you need to take full advantage of MWO. There is always support here. Keep going with it and I am confident you will make great progress.
Bean x

[hablur]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

Thanks Bean.

[julie001]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

Hablur,

People who do not have a problem with drinking don't really understand how insidious it is. Keep talking with your wife. Communication is vital. And whatever you do, don't give up. It doesn't matter if this is your hundredth time trying to quit. This time it could work! I have faith in this program. And the opportunity to log on here and connect with other people who truly understand is an absolute gift. I understand about your hesitancy in speaking with your family doctor. I feel that way too, but be brave and go for it. You can do this! Let us know how the doctor visit goes. Good luck!

Julie

[amethyst]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

I decided I believe in myself, plus I have all of the folks here backing me up. If I fall off the wagon after a bump in the road I know I can pick myself up and you guys will help me too. Thats why I am here.

Hablur, darlin....I'm sayin this gently... YOU have already declared to the universe ( and us) that you are willing to take on the work, and are READY for this work. While it is frustratin when our loved ones don't understand (and believe me, I SOOOO get this one), they can't stop us once the decision is made. We can be healthy, we WILL be healthy. Let things slide a bit for your dear wife. She is probably scared, and frustrated too. Show her how strong the real you is. Project the image of who you are post alcohol-abuse, and believe THAT. Positive vibes your way.

[hablur]

Very frustrated trying to find a doc

Well I went to my primary doc and she actually seemed unsurprised but she would not prescribe Topamax. She said she will try to find me a doctor who would though. She just doesn't want to do it because her office has a policy against Off-Prescribing meds.

Oh well. I found a place that will give me monthly Vivitrol injections though. Anyone had any luck with that med?