I don't deserve this site

[morrison]

I don't deserve the great people and support here. I havn't been here in a while, and I relapsed. I'm so beat down. I'm afraid I'm done. I don't want to be alive right now. I'll come back when I get better. I promise. I can't beleive how bad I feel. I'm just an idiot. I was doing so well. Everybody here has been so good and supportive, and I just stopped coming by. I deserve what I get. Thanks to all. I won't be around for a bit. I have to take my punishment. I'm so ashamed and in so much pain.

[DidItForMe]

I don't deserve this site

Oh no no no no no no no you don't! You don't just get to go away when you feel bad. That is what this site if for. Do you remember when you found this site? Was it when you where happy and feeling great? No! you found it when you were feeling like shit and were at rock bottom like the rest of us. That's is when we need each other most! Get you ass back here and tell us what happened. How can we be a support group if you leave when you need support? Stay Morrison. Please stay and talk to us. This site picked up you before and we can help you again. That's the beauty of it, remember? Let it out, talk about it, let us help. I want you to be there for me if I fall. Let us be here for you now.

[ScoobyDoo]

I don't deserve this site

Morrison, stop right there!

This is the depressive side effect of the alcohol making you think and feel this way. It's simply not true or right.

It sounds to me like you need us here, and this entire forum now more than ever. Don't dip out... you really have made enormous progress and you wouldn't want to end up back to where you were months ago.

Have you thought about taking Topa?

Try to think back to what tools and way of thinking you adopted when you went for all those AF days. You were on fire!

Doo

[Beaches]

I don't deserve this site

I agree, stick around for the encouragement to get out of the "bad place". Doing it alone, is not so great.

[lushy]

I don't deserve this site

Could not agree with Didit more. You stay put young man! You have done so well since coming here. Do not walk away from the support you need right now. It will only make things worse. We are here for you!!

[morrison]

I don't deserve this site

Thanks

Thanks did it. I thought about that after I posted. I'm just so ashamed to talk right now. I want to, but I'm ashamed. That is why I came by. I know I need help. I just can't believe I did it AGAIN!! This is twice now in just a month. I'm afraid. I'm disgusted. What if I can't stop!! I thought I was done. I'm sure I'm insane. My mind is so messed up. I'll be back in a little while. I think I'm gonna grab a few beers to calm the nerves. I don't think I could come off this binge cold turkey, as it could be to dangerous. I just put to much poison into my system the last 3 days. I really don't think I can handle the withdrawals cold turkey. Ugggg. I'm not a good person.

[AAthlete]

I don't deserve this site

Morrison, I hope that you will reconsider and stay with us. Yes, it is extremely easy to get complacent - which is exactly what alcohol wants you to do - it gives it an opening.

Stay here and talk to us - that's what we're for. Getting your story out will not only make you feel better, it will make you realize that you are not alone and that as bad as it seems, there are a lot of other people who have been through the same thing.

And yes you are a good person. I'm guessing that you didn't ask to be the way that you are, right? Yes it's a battle but it is winnable...

[hablur]

I don't deserve this site

Morrison, you are a good person. All of us are. We are all fighting this together. Start posting like mad about what is eating at you. We can all help you and turn this negativity around as you are a person of worth and value. You deserve the best in life and I for one would appreciate and be honoured if I can help you in anyway.

[ScoobyDoo]

I don't deserve this site

Oh Morrison! I wish I could give you a big hug.

AA is absolutely right.

My drink tracker does not look good... I am still here and I want you to help me get to where I want to be... but first I am here for you

Big hug from Scoob

[Rocky]

I don't deserve this site

Morison....

Regroup...Kicking this is not just turning a switch off, Its LIFE, Its you, and it takes time, ups , down, good bad...no perfection here. I understand hating ones self... The Lord know I have done enough of that, but it is so very self demoralizing. Nothing good can come of it. acknowledge the issue, shake yourself off, make a plan (stay here at MWO and work with us together) and start off again.

You are not "too Bad" to be here and keep trying....

Come on Morrison... re-group...

[happycamper68]

I don't deserve this site

Morrison,
Please go to the doctor so he can help you detox. You need a few days worth of valium or something like that. You cannot do it by yourself and you can't taper off the booze it just won't work. Or go to the hospital. Please Morrison. :h

[morrison]

I don't deserve this site

I'm sticking around

Guys, thank you all so much for the quick replys. I needed something instantly. I overslepted today, and just called in to work. I don't think I'm in trouble, but I gotta take care of some things so I can relax. I'll come back in a little bit. I got to take care of some stuff. It'll be hard, as I can barely concentrate. Ugg. If I can explain how I feel, at least it will be a good reminder to others not to relapse. This is awful. I love all of you for being so supportive, cause I truly feel like a selfish jerk right now.

[ScoobyDoo]

I don't deserve this site

You are not a selfish jerk and we are here for you. Deal with what you have to deal with. Sounds like some valium is what you need for the day to get it out of your system and then tackle new approach tomorrow when you're feeling better.

And, come back here and chat.

You're going to be ok M.

Doo

[happycamper68]

I don't deserve this site

You are NOT selfish, drink water and get some valium or something to calm you down. :h

[irishlady]

I don't deserve this site

Morrison,
I replied to a post on another thread today and said what a damn fine team we had here, that team includes YOU.

Now come on man, we are fighting a war here, and we cannot do it if we are a man down.. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, someone new to the site, looking for help and support, for all you know, it could be your very words that will make a difference to that person...

So, we NEED you every bit as much as you need us, this is a two way thing.

Ok, get some sleep, but we want you back on parade tomorrow...

THATS AN ORDER..

Love ya, Louise xxx