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[cke123]

Hi everyone! Since my last post I have been doing well. I had thought I could drink moderately, and I guess I was until last night. We drank some beers and 2 bottles of wine with dinner. I didnt even remember leaving the restaurant, and now I am totally panicking about what I may have said or done. My boyfriend assures me that I didnt do anything, but I always think that he's lying to make me feel better.
I get sooooo paranoid and have so much anxiety after a night of drinking. Does this happen to anyone else?

Just wanted to reach out to friends on this crappy Tuesday!

CKE

[cke123]

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Yes, he would def let me know. He is not one to keep quiet about those things.

Alcohol is definately a recipe for anxiety, depression and paranoia. Not fun...wonder why I keep doing it

[morrison]

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Oh hell yes!!

CKE, it does make you so anxious. Alcohol has a direct negative effect on the central nervous system, and that is why you feel that way. Sadly, I'm in the same boat concerning moderation. Can't do it. Fail over and over and over again. I just can't drink, period. Don't feel bad if you have to abstain for good. I know before I f'ed up that it was the happiest time I had in ages, and I wasn't missing out on anything. Take care, and all that anxiety will subside.

[cassy]

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Hi there..i am bus trying to moderate too,...however every time i come on site it is full of posts from people trying to moderate but keep "slipping"..the message this tells me is "be careful because maybe moderating is not possible when you are a problem drinker"

interested to hear other peoples views on moderating.

Not knocking at anyone...there are amazimg stories of people who have cut down so so much(myself included)so for that i am grateful to this site and for the encouragement of so many "moderators" and "abstainers"

I used to smoke and remember cutting down time and time again until eventually i had to accept it had to be no fags ever.....Just not ready on my journey with the booze to say "no nay never!!!)

Regards cassy

[cke123]

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I hear you cassy, the thought of never drinking again sounds boring....but I do know that it is best for me right now. Unfortunately I never remember that when i get invited out for drinks.......

Moderating is hard. I find it easier if I make sure that I eat...but sometimes that doesnt work either and I always regret over doing it.

[morrison]

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Hello cassy

Cassy, this is the thing. For people like myself, I can't imagine mods. It is like a dream world. I can't understand how people can do it. Its 100 percent not an option. And yes, you will find two schools of thought on this board. I am definately not the type of person to say you can't drink at all. If you can drink and have a good time, more power to you. Sadly, for myself and millions of others, we will continue to make complete asses of ourselves everytime we think we can just have a couple.:upset:

[morrison]

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Hello Janie

Thanks. Good to meet you. I love this place. Wish I didn't take time away. I didn't realize how much it helped. God I felt horrible this morning, but I made sure all was well at work, made some calls (you know the type. Hey, are we cool? I didn't freak out did I?) I'm ready to grab a bite here in a minute, and that should help too. This site is a life saver for me. Helps me forgive myself, which is HUGE. Anyway, I'll see you around.

[betty boop]

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Absolutley .....

I wake up feeling really calm ... turn over and realise that hubby has gone to work already ........ realise that I can't remember going to bed ......... then WHAM ........ sick feeling to the stomach ....... What did I do/say last night ......... Worry all day till he comes home and I can judge his mood ............ Realy not worth it .........

[cke123]

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Morrison, did you have a night like I did? :upset:

[irishlady]

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I admire those of us who can abstain successfully... For over 10 years I tried and tried to moderate.. Sometimes I would last for a few weeks just having 2 glasses of wine about three times a week, other times I wouldn't get past a day....

When I think of all the energy, stress and time I put into it I get so mad with myself..

For me now the only way forward is to abstain, but far from being boring, these last seven months of not drinking have been the happiest months of my life for over thirty years.. New doors have opened up, plans I have laid over the last few months are starting to pay off for me now, and if I was still drinking, even moderately, as I said earlier, the amount of time and energy needed to sustain that moderation wouldn't have left me time for much else..

Love from a very happy Louise xxx

[cke123]

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Louise,

How many times did you try to quit before it stuck?

[morrison]

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oh, a whole weekend and a Monday to

CKE, I was hurting so bad this morning. Still do, but am feeling better once I started posting. It is just not worth this pain. I'm glad I have this site. If not, I would be killing myself with guilt. I'm still feeling guilty, but have moved past the point of self loathing. I hope you get better soon.

[cke123]

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I am with you. then came the dreaded "oh sh*t..." when you check your call log on your cell phone and can't remember what you talked about for 7 minutes with your friend. Its mortifying. I can never shake the feeling either. It last all day!

[morrison]

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oh, its the worst

how about when the little stuff pops into your mind out of nowhere, the stuff you forgot about, and then just a glimpse of the situation is all you have. You immediately panick, and get a sick feeling. Oh, the shame. I hate that. You think you took the worst of it that first hour upon waking up, but throughout the day, the shameful little bits of information come sneaking in. Ugg. That is the worst. You can actually see youself behaving in this horrible way. So emabarrising.

[irishlady]

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Well as I said I was trying to do mods for about 10 years, then when I realised I couldn't do that I must have been trying to quit for about the last three years... I would manage a whole week now and again, other times I would get up in the morning with a horrendous hangover, go to work swearing never to drink again, finish work at 6pm, and as I work in a supermarket I would make for the wines and spirit aisle, and although I didn't want to buy any my hand of its own accord would reach out and put two bottles of wine into my trolley..

Before I found this site, the longest I stayed AF was about two years ago when I went for 4 weeks without a drink, I felt so good, I stupidly thought I had a handle on drinking and could control it now, and guess what I did, i bought a bottle of wine to celebrate my 4 weeks of soberiety..

Alcohol is the meanest, sneakiest and most dangerous thing I know, it pretends to be your best friend, but would a best friend betray you like that, and would you keep a best friend who did??? I don't think so...

Since joining MWO I have now been AF for 7 months, thats a total of 214 days so there is no way I am going back to the old days...