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    #1

    Has this happened to anyone??

    Hi

    I joined the site last week and posted on the 'visit to the Dr' thread. Anyways, I have been taking the Kudzu for 3-4 days and the L-Glutamine for longer. Had 5 days AF last week and then a night on and 2 further off so doing better than usual. Im waiting for my Topamax order from Aclepsa. As with many here once I start on my wine I can't stop until I've had approx 1.5 to 2 bottles of wine at my worst - drinking every second day and mostly at home in the evening. However, last night, following 2-3 average size glasses the thought came into my head 'I really don't want any more - I could stop now'. HOWEVER, because I am in such a habit of drinking more I just went on and drank more - quite consciously. Do you think the Kudzu might be kicking in? I would never have felt like stopping before - let alone entertain the idea for a few momeents and then make a ?? rational decision to carry on out of habit. Any comments would be really welcome.

    Thanks all

    Camelia
    Wine tomorrow, wine yesterday but NO wine today
    Tags: None
    #2
    Has this happened to anyone??

    Camelia -I think you need to give the kudzu awhile, but it definately helps you cut down. Hang in there, soon you'll drop the "habitua" drinks.

    For awhile - I think I was like you, drinking 1 bottle plus just about 1 or 2 days on, one day off (because I felt so guilty and hungover - the feeling lasted with me the whole next day, so I was able not to drink out of sheer misery). However, since taking the Kudzu, I still want the first drink, but I find that I do drink less that evening (about 3-4 glasses of wine - still more than I want, but much better) as a result I haven't have had any hangovers. This last month, however I haven't been able to get many AF days under my belt - 4 to be exact.

    So, I am drinking less per session, but more often than before. I feel like I need that really bad drinking episode to get me to go AF forthe next day. I know logically that's crazy and I don't know which is worse. Anyway, I think at this point it's a mindset and I have to tell myself, I don't want to drink at all today and plan on several AF days during the week. I've just been slacking off and making excuses - I need to get my determination back.

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      #3
      Has this happened to anyone??

      I think the Kudzu is great stuff and could be contributing to that thought. I also think the fact that you are here and acknowledging your issue and you have a desire to change helps you to have those thoughts as well. Next time try and listen to that voice that says, "I don't need anymore" and switch to something else to drink. It is those small steps that helps us get to where we want. And once that becomes a habit you can make further changes.....
      I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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        #4
        Has this happened to anyone??

        Thanks for your replies - everything helps!
        Wine tomorrow, wine yesterday but NO wine today

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          #5
          Has this happened to anyone??

          Camilia,
          The supps will help even after a few days; but If you abstain from drinking for about 60 days (I think that's the right amount of time) and then try, you'll find greater results. With the program they suggest that you not drink for awhile. Stay on your supps & meds give it another shot in 60 days. (If you can handle it then, maybe you can casually drink. Some of us can't........only you'll know that answer.....remember " Be true to thy self". We're here to help)...........IAD
          ?Be who you are and say what you feel because
          those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.?
          Dr. Seuss

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            #6
            Has this happened to anyone??

            I agree with lushy, it could be a result of the sups, but more than likely it is you and the power of your mind. It is pretty awsome what the mind can do. Sometimes when you first feel the craving to drink try to divert your mind to something else and see if the cravings go away. Remember, we are all "just getting started"; we have a lifetime to practice what we learn here.

            Bear
            What St. Frances of Assisi said of himself is true for me.
            ?If God can work through me He can work through anybody.?

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              #7
              Has this happened to anyone??

              Hi Camelia

              I can relate to everything you've brought up in your post. It sounds to me like it's going to take that time to break the psychological habit. I'm sure the Kudzu & L-Glut are taking part also in the thought process. I'd love to be exacting but I think everyone is different. I can't stop thinking about what you mentioned last week about the two types of alcoholics. As soon as I read your explanation, a big penny dropped for me, and goes to explain why some drinkers (eg like what you see in AA) talk about drinking vodka in the shower before work just before they clean their teeth etc. Most of us here probably cannot really relate to that.

              Re Kudzu... for me, I decided to stop drinking during the week and limit it to weekends, as a starting point. I was used to drinking 5 or 6/7 nights a week, usually with a minimum of 1 bottle of wine (but maximum of say 1.5 bottles). So when I joined MWO it took me about a week to work out my game plan, and that is to use the Kudzu/L-Glut to stop drinking durign the week nights, and it's working for me. I have never had DT's or cravings as such, just the psychological factor of wanting to "have a few drinks because it's Friday" routine. I've been doing that since I was in my late teens, so no wonder it's going to take time to break that habit but in the meantime, I'm really glad that I have chopped out the mid week drinking! By Thursday/Friday, I have that totally feeling of wellbeing and feel sensational... so why do I drink again on the Friday night? (lol) Probably because I do actually enjoy that buzz feeling but just don't know when to stop... but I just hate that hangover and sleeping in til 11am, not remembering parts of the night before and not making the most of the weekend... what a waste! I was just chatting to my mum earlier and told her about what you posted last week. She suggested that I work out what level I am comfortable with in relation to weekend drinking and try to use that as a guide. I wouldn't mind having a hangover once a month... but every weekend is crazy and just so stupid, yet I've been doing it for years!

              So... I'm also waiting on the Topa and am hoping to take a few months break from drinking with the help of Topa and then try to go back to a little bit on weekends, with the odd splash out (eg at a family function or wedding) type mentality and take it from there.

              As for you... Well done on your progress so far! It is not an easy thing, those first few days... I found the 3rd consecutive day AF MUCH easier, and it all just gets a bit easier from there, as you get your will power and self esteem back in order. Well done!

              Scooby
              :heart: Sobriety - Keep it simple :heart:

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                #8
                Has this happened to anyone??

                Hi Scoobydoo and thank you. My pattern is exactly the same as yours. I am going to start drink tracker now and see how it goes over next few weeks. Then see the effect of Topa when that arives - we can compare progress! Good for you that you've cut out the mid week drinking - thats a real step forward - I have yet to manage that after many attempts - but feel very hopeful this week. My new motto....

                "wine tomorrow, wine yesterday but no wine today" adapted from Lewis Carrolls Alice in Wonderland. In the book it's 'jam' not wine.
                Wine tomorrow, wine yesterday but NO wine today

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                  #9
                  Has this happened to anyone??

                  One more thing? What do the numbers stand for on drink tracker?? I am considering one to be a glass of wine - probably 250mls.
                  Wine tomorrow, wine yesterday but NO wine today

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                    #10
                    Has this happened to anyone??

                    Hi Camelia,
                    I've often done that, sometimes I really don't want a drink but have one anyway and then find the bottle has gone, its ridiculous. Try and get into the habit of getting a glass of milk or juice at those momments.
                    Suz
                    Happy to be sober since 07 Sept 09.

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                      #11
                      Has this happened to anyone??

                      Hi Camelia

                      I love your motto. How appropriate!

                      With the drink tracker, I use it based on 'standard drinks' or standard units, but I guess you can use it however you want, so long as it's consistent for you - as a gauge. I measure 6.5 standard glasses of wine in a bottle based on the alcohol content etc. There are sites such as this one here DAO - Drinking Guidelines & Standard Drinks which will help you work out standard drink conversions.

                      It'll be nice having someone to compare notes with. We ordered out Topa around the same time so hopefully we'll get it at the same time and keep each other company!

                      Scooby
                      :heart: Sobriety - Keep it simple :heart:

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                        #12
                        Has this happened to anyone??

                        Hi

                        tried out an Avatar today - and a signature - just testing now. One more day AF Hurrah!!!
                        Wine tomorrow, wine yesterday but NO wine today

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                          #13
                          Has this happened to anyone??

                          Camelia... that's such great news about another AF day up your sleeve!

                          Scooby xo
                          :heart: Sobriety - Keep it simple :heart:

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