Drink Driving

[lolly]

After trying to find my partner after he went missing yesterday, i rang hospitals and eventually police, he had been arrested for D.D having been followed back home by an off duty cop, his reading was 163? i dont know how many times this means he was over the limit, its also his third offence, the policeman reckons he may get away with a 10 year ban as our jails are so full, does any one on here know if thats the case and exactly how over the limit that reading meant? Thank you

[stillcrawling]

Drink Driving

Oh my...

Lolly,

I think the issue at hand will be that it is his third offense. I am sorry that you are going through this ... in the US it varies from state to state ... In Arizona I had a friend that had to do 30 days in jail (tent city) because it was her 2nd offense -- she was allowed work release. So, it really depends. Liz

[lolly]

Drink Driving

Thanks guys last offence he got 3 year ban with a third off because he did a substance abuse course, ive tried looking on the net and they say 35 is the legal limit so i guess he was like 5 times over! I dont know how this all works but maybe he will get treatment if he goes down

[betty boop]

Drink Driving

Oh Lolly, I'm in the UK so don't know what your laws are like, but just wanted to say that you are in my thoughts ...

Betty xx

[lolly]

Drink Driving

Thanks Betty this can be a very lonely time i cant tell my family they would go bananas and ive tried everything in my power to help him but he just seems on the road to self destruct

[betty boop]

Drink Driving

Lolly, been thinking about you ...

How are things now ?????????

Betts xxx

[lolly]

Drink Driving

betty boop;140507 wrote: Lolly, been thinking about you ...

How are things now ?????????

Betts xxx

Thanks Betty

Well he got 4 months suspened sentence, 240 hours community service and a home curfew tag between 8pm and 8am.

apart from that nothings changed hes well into his 3rd week of a bender shutting himself off and drinking 1or 2 bottles of vodka a day, hes face is bashed up where he told me he had fallen down the stairs, he is under hospital still being assesed for rehab treatment but dont know if he will go to next appointment

[Accountable for Me]

Drink Driving

Lolly - I was busted once while under the influence and lost my license for a year. I was then again busted not drinking and driving but driving while not wearing a seatbelt and under the suspension when leaving my driveway and did 14 days in jail (I was sentenced to 30 - but here you serve half). I paid over $600 in impound fees - not to mention I had my license suspended for another 30 days before I could try to get it back. I don't know what else to say except maybe it is a lesson learned. It was for me.

[InnerStrength]

Drink Driving

Hi Lolly
I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I dont think there is anything you can do for him at this point - he has to want to change. He is probably wallowing in self pity which is AWFUL for an alcoholic to do - and is very typical alcoholic behaviour, to boot. I am thinking of you and sending you my best wishes. I hope he realizes that this is a good "bottom" for him and it can help him start to climb upward.
Love jen

[Mags]

Drink Driving

Where I live the laws are very strict. My son got busted for driving with blood alcohol of 0.11 (0.8 is the legal limit). His license was suspended for 6 months - very hard on a 22 year old. I'm glad he got in trouble. He needs to learn to NEVER drive drunk - he could kill someone. Hopefully this has taught him a hard lesson.
What I am saying is drunk driving is a crime and should be treated as such. Drunk drivers are deadly weapons. I hope someone can convince him of how dangerous he is.

[lolly]

Drink Driving

InnerStrength;172600 wrote: Hi Lolly
I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I dont think there is anything you can do for him at this point - he has to want to change. He is probably wallowing in self pity which is AWFUL for an alcoholic to do - and is very typical alcoholic behaviour, to boot. I am thinking of you and sending you my best wishes. I hope he realizes that this is a good "bottom" for him and it can help him start to climb upward.
Love jen

Thanks hun life is no different we have been in and out the cycle ever since, each time him professing to never do it again he values our future, but then promptly goes into another bender, went to hospital he decided to opt for one to one counselling should have made the appoint ment but never did, now on another bender just as a job interview is coming up this week, well ive decided enoughs enough i have tried for over a year to help and have done so much to try get him help and help him. this time i think ill walk he has been real mean because i wont go round, says i dont care, desserting him when he needs me, doesnt matter ive been to hell and back ringing hospitals etc whe he went missing, washed him shaved him when hes been too weak with the effects, arranging his social security benefits, driving him about, the list is endless all because i really thought i could help him get over this, but as so many say its never going to change if he doesnt want it to, he's been like this apparently for the last 10 years so i guess even meeting me and having a second chance at having a wonderful life and future is all ruled out for alcohol.

[betty boop]

Drink Driving

:h Lolly, thanks for checking in and keeping in touch, I am really sorry that things are no better .... Keep your chin up love ....:l :h :l

[trixietrack]

Drink Driving

my BF was arrested for drunk driving twice. his truck was taken away he spent 2 nights in jail
came out. started riding his bike with a suspended license and a warrant for his arrest (traffic tickets) then got caught drinking and driving again. Now his bike is gone too.
I did the same thing as you honey, waiting for him to get home calling and looking for him everywhere. paying all the bills 'cause he lost his job. trying my best at nurturing him and loving him. it has been 4 and a half years, nothing has changed.
it is very sad. Feeling for you my dear

[lolly]

Drink Driving

Thanks guys:l this week has been awful as i have tried to stay strong and keep away, i cant beleive the amount of times he's rang and said he cant beleive im desserting him now when he needs my help, but ive tried everything for a year now and been down this path so many times heard the words over and over, then i give in and think this time it will change but never does, i'm trying to stay strong and start trying to pick up the peices of my life, i'm 50 and know if i carry on i'll be old before i know it and missed out on what could have been some really good years.

[STARLIGHT]

Drink Driving

lolly, I know this is hard on you. I do think you are doing the right thing in leaving him. It is very hard on you! You deserve better and to be respected and happy! I will be 50 next June 2008. My marriage is ending! Still living in the same house and working together. Believe me it is not easy. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place at the moment. You need to be strong and know you did everything you could to help him! But, please realize he can only help himself when and if he is ever ready too! So, you now should live the next 50 years as you would want too! I wish you love and support and inspriations to get to where you want to be!
Blessings - Angel