New to long term moderators

[Poppykin123]

Hi, I have been AF for 14 months until today! I hd a horrible day and I was invited to a Barn Dance this evening! The drinks were flowing and I decided I would give it a go! My 7 year old daughter was with me and my best friend.

I had 2 large glasses of white wine and a glass of champagne. I had plenty to eat beforehand and during! I was very aware of the situation and I could recognise when to stop. I also managed to drink a large glass of water and I am now drinking a large cup of tea.

I suppose the reason I decided to post this is because I am scared. Do I try moderating or am I playing a very dangourous game! I nearly reached 3 bottles of wine a day before I stopped and I never want to return to that hell again.

Please let me know your experiences with this and how u have managed.

Love Poppykin xx

[bkyogagurl]

New to long term moderators

Hi Poppy-

First off... The progress you made is awesome! I think it's natural to be curious about being able to moderate or not and only you will find the key to that.

It's such a tricky deal. The thing is you stopped for a reason before so if things get out of hand you will recognize the issues arising. It will be up to you then to decide where you go from there. It's such a tough battle and if everyone just walked away the first time from AL there would be no forum here.

How do you feel about? I know you said you are scared but do you feel like you shouldn't have drank or are you ok with it. It's sounds like you made good decisions in drinking water and ending with Tea.

[Poppykin123]

New to long term moderators

Thanks for your reply! I have decided over night that it is to risky to return to drinking wine! I had a really bad day yesterday and went to the party. I bought the birthday girl a bottle of wine so I don't think that helped. I had it in my hand which did not help. I also have Adult ADD and I manage my systems without meds because I am scared it would get out of hand. I realised this morning that everything in my daily life has gotten overwhelming again. So I have done lots of clearing up this morning and I have also done lots of planning for the week.
I am also going to come on here and post more regularly. I think the big thing I have learned is I am always going to work hard on my sobery and put it first. Thank you again for replying it really helped.

[available]

New to long term moderators

Hi Pop

So glad you made the choice not to try moderating, i mean it has to be doable but i know for me it all ends in tears. We start off with good intentions and it turns to shit within days or weeks and before you know it, its back to those 3 bottles a day.

You have a plan and at the end of the day it was only 1 day out of hundreds and you were in control of al. I know if i have a drink it will have all the control again and sobriety is such a great feeling and so powerful to us.

Take care and keep on posting.

[frances]

New to long term moderators

Yep that was my experience too...it took 3-6 months or so but I was definitely back to my old habits. I think you have made a very wise choice!

[nancy]

New to long term moderators

considering moderating

Two large glasses of wine is can be a lot. Of course it partly also depends on how big you are. For a small woman, two large glasses of wine and a glass of champagne is a lot of alcohol. Did you drive after that?

I also think three bottles of wine a night is pretty extreme.

I do think moderating is possible. I am a believer in the books written by Lance Dodes. He says that it's not actually the amount that matters so much but the psychological dependence. If you are obsessing and using alcohol as a psychological crutch, then you are still addicted, even if you only had one glass that evening.

My advice is to avoid these kinds of gatherings in the future!

Well done on your period of not drinking! You are very strong.

[Poppykin123]

New to long term moderators

I am so pleased I posted on here last night! Thanks so much for all your kind words and support. I hate the feeling of the reasoning in my head. I did use it as a psychological crutch when I was drinking and I know that's what happened yesterday. I am very proud to say I wasn't driving and I had my daughter with me so I had to stay responsible.

I know I could probably moderate for a short time but I know it would not last and I am not prepared to risk it. I never want to return to that he'll again.

I am back on board with a plan. For me I need to focus on keeping organised. I also have to keep my recovery the most important part of my daily life. It is so not worth risking everything I have worked so hard for.

Love Poppykin xx