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    #1

    Dis-order in the Courts

    ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
    WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
    ________________________________

    ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
    WITNESS: July 18th.
    ATTORNEY: What year?
    WITNESS: Every year.
    _____________________________________

    ATTORNEY:What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    WITNESS: I forget.
    ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
    _____________________________________

    ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
    WITNESS: Forty-five years.
    tyle="font-family: Verdana;">_____________________________________

    ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
    WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
    WITNESS: My name is Susan.
    ______________________________________

    ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his Sleep,
    The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:
    Tags: None
    #2
    Dis-order in the Courts

    this is actually a lot longer but I can't seem to get the rest of it to come thru. Maybe I'll try again.
    The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

    Comment

      #3
      Dis-order in the Courts

      ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
      WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
      ________________________________

      ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
      WITNESS: July 18th.
      ATTORNEY: What year?
      WITNESS: Every year.
      _____________________________________

      ATTORNEY:What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
      WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
      ______________________________________

      ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
      WITNESS: Yes.
      ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
      WITNESS: I forget.
      ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
      _____________________________________

      ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
      WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
      ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
      WITNESS: Forty-five years.
      tyle="font-family: Verdana;">_____________________________________

      ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
      WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
      ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
      WITNESS: My name is Susan.
      ______________________________________

      ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his Sleep,
      he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
      Witness: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

      Attorney: So the date od conception was(of the baby) was August 8th?
      Witness:
      yes
      Attorney: And what were you doing at that time?
      Witnessuh...

      Attorney: Do you recall the time that you performed the autopsy?
      Witness:
      around 8:30
      Attorney:And Mr Denton was dead at the time?
      Witness: No he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him!

      Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
      Witness:no
      Attorney: How can you be so sure Doctor?
      Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
      Attorney: But could the patient still have been alive nevertheless?
      Witness: Yes, it is possible he could have been alive and practicing law!
      The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

      Comment

        #4
        Dis-order in the Courts

        My husband is sleeping (just back from London) and I am trying so hard not to laugh loudly that I am crying!

        Comment

          #5
          Dis-order in the Courts

          Lawyers! Ahem, ... Bill Clinton: I actually DID NOT have sex with this woman (Amnesia ... What was her name again?)! AND: With Bill Clinton there came a new definition on what actually constitutes adultery ... Aparently oral sex wasn't part of the deal, grin ... So THERE Hilary!
          Paddy
          Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit the Frog - eace:

          Comment

            #6
            Dis-order in the Courts

            I just had to reread this. It reminded me of being interviewed for a jury where someone was sueing the dr. over his neck surgery. The attorney asked if we had any neck problems. I admitted I did. (This is a true story)
            Lawyer: What are your neck problems.
            Louise: I have stiff neck.
            Lawyer: What causes this?
            Louise: A congenital syndrome. I was born with fused cervical vertebra.
            Lawyer: How long have you had this condition?

            Comment

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