Do I have a problem???

[Guest]

I everyone. I have been wondering for a while if I have a problem. My husband and I just fight about my amount of wine I'm drinking. I try to drink just weekends (this is diffucult by itself).

When we socialize I will drink at least 3-4 glasses of wine, never less than that. My husband doesn't like to drink at all, but on a Friday night I like to enjoy my glass of wine (or 3 glasses).

My husband assures me that I have a problem and that I need help. Deep down I think I might have a problem, but would like some advice from people with the same issue.

Thanks,
D

[Guest]

Do I have a problem???

Hi Deb, only you can really answer that and certainly not your husband, but if YOU think that you might, you might. Can you just NOT drink for a weekend and it doesn't bother you? That may be the test for you. But again, it's only you that can really answer that question. Take care.

[Guest]

Do I have a problem???

Hi Deb,

I just figured out that I have a problem with drinking. Mine kind of just increased over time. But I live alone so I didn't have anyone else's opinion about it. I think if it starts to interfere with your life - or you prefer drinking over other activities most of the time, or if you only feel like partaking in an event when you know it will include alcohol....stuff like that....maybe it's a problem. Only you know if it is a real problem.
lisa

[Guest]

Do I have a problem???

ya

Hi Deb, Having wondered the same thing many many times myself and for many many years. All I can say in order to keep it simple is......YOU KNOW THE ANSWER RIGHT NOW. What ever the answer is....you know it. We cant tell you, a test cant tell you, AA cant tell you, YOU KNOW

[Guest]

Do I have a problem???

ya

oops.....lol it went and I wasnt done. laughing, laughing (really guys, I havent slipped, straight day 8 tomorrow) OK....back to serious. Ok, You know if you have a problem or not. Maybe just the begining of a problem but same thing. A clue is that you are here. searching. And a good mini tip is to listen to that. Dont wait cuz it only gets harder later. Hope I dont sound lectureish. I'm 45, started partying in highschool, never stopped drinkin, probably since in my 30's I drank nearly every day.....not drunk but drank....and kinda started knowin then. Could have made it easier if I listened then is all. gabby

[Guest]

Do I have a problem???

Deb

Having read a number of articles and things about this, one of the things they say, (and it is only what they say), is that if a member of your family thinks you have a problem, then you have a problem. full stop. You must think you have a problem or else you would not be here. Most of us here have been where you are now, 3 glasses a night, do you want it to go onto 6 glasses a night?, I started with one bottle of wine a nght, got up to two with maybe a whisky chaser, and three weeks ago I was on at least a bottle of gin a night. It becomes a habit. I am on day 18 of abs now and it feels great apart from being tired, which I think is my body readjusting to no alcohol to keep me buzzing. Read the book, read these messages, there are some veru poignant ones. You are at the right place if you want to change. I have found huge inspiration from the lovely people on this site. If you argue and defend our drinking then you definitely have a problem. I am not saying dont drink, because I want to be able to have a drink after 30n days abs, but learn how to moderate it. Sorry to hit you with both guns, but I am like that at times, but you seem to be just on the outset, and sound as if you are worth telling it straight. Good luck in what you do


kirky

[Guest]

Do I have a problem???

ah the age old question. for me deb. easy to answer yes. the important place to look was what the heck am i doing to my life? i have a beautiful relationship and he's not happy that i have even one glass of wine. so, that said, i need to stop. he's more important to me than the wine. and i had to ask myself do i want the booze or my husband. cuz at the end of the day that is what it has come down to. funny in a weird way. nothing tragic happened. it was just the last 3 1/2 years of being pretty tuned out. see even those 3 glasses has me in some far off land disconnected. he just simply started being lost to me really in a very gradual subtle way. it just was happening subtly. no grand affair no grand disruption. no big black outs, oh maybe i drank too much a few times but it was more the subtle silence that was slowly putting that distance. it was all those times i thought he didn't notice i was drinking something. all those times i thought i got away with it. somehow i has just put a wall up. til one day a few months ago we talked and believe me deb. we always talk we are close. but we really talked. and he said you know it is jus really hard for me to watch you slowly kill yourself. and i love you too much to watch anymore. so you are going to have to choose the bottle or me. and i actually had to think about it. hummmm. so i searched and found this site. knowing that something would have to help me help myself. ah, so maybe it isn't about the wine. maybe it is about the tuning out. the place to go be alone in that little cacoon. hummm. anyway, deb. you'll need to decide. just know that you have support here if you want it. K

[Guest]

Do I have a problem???

Thanks

Thanks everyone. I wanted to get advice from people who have been there. I realize I have a problem but think i can do it on my own, but in the past 3 years it just got worse.The worsed is the blackouts and then the following day try to pretend that you can remember everything.

I ordered the book and hopefully i can tackle this problem, i must admit i'm scared. This message board is very helpful.

[Guest]

Do I have a problem???

Re: Thanks

ah yes, well i had tried to do it on my own several times. aa wasn't going to do it either. sigh. this was my last hope. and surprise. it is working. in fact, even though it does take determination. i was very shocked at how well it is working. i've gone from drinking a bottle or more a day to a glass or two a week. and right now i'm trying out the june abstinance program. now i'm having stops and starts which is just fine because i'm on week 9 of the program. but hey i've had more sober days in 9 weeks then i've had in the last 3 1/2 years that my drinking has gotten so very bad. so chin up girl. i do believe that today is your lucky day.; you've got great support here. the book, the items to get that the books talks about, cds, supplements, meds, and away we go. keep posting in the mean time. one moment at a time.
k:rollin

[Guest]

Do I have a problem???

Re: Thanks

Hey Deb welcome! Maybe you'd like to get registered.. it doesn't cost anything and then you can get into the chat room & also get private EZ box messages. Personally, it took me months to register because. I'm not too computer savvy.. but I finally got my Hubby to do it for me! I'll warn ya though....:lol It's a lot of fun,... & can be a new addiction! Healthy one tho!:lol Hugs, Judie

[Guest]

Do I have a problem???

Re: Thanks

This is to soberkimber (k), sorry to use ur thread deb, but I totally relate to wot u said about ur hubby and him saying it's the bottle or him! Wow, deja vous!