Advice

[Java]

I am abotu a week and a half from 5 months AF, I never even thought I could accomplish that. Here is the thing...I have this lingering urge to attempt moderation...Why haven't I?? Because everytime I have been in a situation to test myself, I have decided against it. One thing, I do not want to give up all the AF time I have, second thing, is I know I still just have that urge to get drunk, why would I want just one...it is never just one, and once i Have one I know I will be convinced to have more.

I was on topa for my first 90 days, and have been off of it for just under 2 months now, I think iw as doing better on it, mentally, but I am not even completely sure of that. I went off of it because I am not a fan of medication, however lately, I have been thinking about going back on it. MY boyfriend thinks I don't need to...I dont really know myself what I should do. I know I will not drink...but should I try the old method, I do not want to be on medication forever. I would have to stop eventually Anyways, which is why i stopped before. I dont know,t hanks for listening to me ramble.

Victoria ( I changed my username)

[MDBiker]

Advice

Victoria,
I am not what you would call a long time abstainer, but I have done exactly what you are thinking about doing. I stopped drinking, quit the topa, and "knew" I would not drink. But I did. Just a little at first. Then a little more. Then more than anyone should live through. I found myself in a worse condition than I had ever been in. And on top of that, I didn't want to quit. I did like the life I had sober but, always wanting a drink was terrible. ALWAYS. When I was on the Topa I didn't really want a drink, and I should have gone back to it, but I would not give up my booze. I am taking campral now and I am not feeling the cravings much anymore. Maybe you should try to tke campral or vivitrol and see if you get past he cravings. I don't have a good direction to tell you to go other than to stay sober and don't be afraid to get some help if you need it.
God Bless You
bear

[Flip]

Advice

No one can tell you what you should do, Victoria, but here's my thoughts.

Are you trying to convince yourself that it would be ok to try moderation? Has it worked before? Do you REALLY want to risk going back to where you started? How do you feel about the past 5 months - are you proud? Do you want to continue to feel good about what you've accomplished?

I stopped drinking for nearly 6 months last year and then thought I could moderate. I did. For about a week, then it was back on the roundabout.

I'm not saying you can't moderate, but think about the reasons why you want to drink again. Will it improve your life in any way?

[paula]

Advice

I know how you feel, I have managed 3 months. If I were to have just one drink,
like you say that would not be enough I would be back to sqare one. I have done
the topa and it really helped me,but I did not want to be on medication for long.
I do still take kuzdo and that helps with cravings.I cannot allow my self to drink,
you are the only person who can decide whats best for you, but reading between
the lines, I think you know the answer.
Best wishes.

[Flip]

Advice

OH, what I forgot to mention is that I stopped again 6 months ago (today!) and I know that I will NEVER drink again and the thought of that is really liberating!

[lucky 2.0]

Advice

Vic,

I have complete faith in you, and support you- whatever choice you make- although I do think abs is a less slippery slope.

xo

[Popeye]

Advice

Hi Victoria,

You're one of the stars that I look up to here, and I'm sure you'll do what's best for you.

I'm not able to moderate at all, though obviously a lot of us here are.
However, the thought crosses my mind a LOT.
I still sometimes feel that I'm missing out by not drinking.
Then I remember the twenty-something years that I put my family through, just so that I didn't miss out.
I don't want to go back, even for a short visit.

[capto]

Advice

Victoria,

I echo Bear, MDbiker, who was a significant encourager in my early recovery efforts . Campral was the next big step for me. Taking Topa meant "I could" if I wanted to. When I went on Campral, I understood I could not drink. Just the act of switching to Campral helped with the psychological cravings. Campral, for a period of perhaps two months, helped me get over the physical cravings. Campral did everything I hoped it would. I then went off all meds. So far so good.

Best of luck to you.

Capto

[Breez]

Advice

I've got a combo of everyone's advise. I'm over 5 1/2 months & just recently got off Topa. I was afraid because summer is just around the corner. But like you said...I thought I can't be on meds 24/7 all my life. Even with Topa I could of easily have drunk if I wanted to. Topa eased my early cravings. Now I have enough AF time under my belt to go without meds. BUT I have a plan. If I feel I can't handle it-I'm going to try the supps & then Campral again (I drank on it yrs ago). I know I need to go the AF route. For so many yrs I tried to moderate & didn't suceed. What would make it different this time? I'm too afraid because deep inside I know I will go back to my ways. It may not happen over night but it will eventually happen.

I look back at all the wasted time & energy & like Pop, don't want to go back.

Good luck with your decision. Only you know what will work for you.

[abby1]

Advice

Hi Victoria,
We have been on the same path for about the same amount of time. I understand what you are feeling. When I quit drinking, I thought well maybe just 30 days.... but that ended up not being the plan. I know now that I can not be a moderate drinker. And for those that can that more power to them. Alcohol become bigger than me in my life. And now I am beginning to have my life back. You need to reflect and deciede what is best for you.
I gave up the campral two months ago. It was a habit to pour myself a glass a wine when I started cooking dinner (or earlier), but now I have made those adjustments.
I know Victoria, you have made those adjustments in your life too. Good Luck what you think is best for you.
Abby

[gabby]

Advice

I am so glad you havent to moderate. You wouldnt have been able to post your 6 month AF.

Arent you so proud of yourself????

Feels so good huh?

Grab on to this feelin and DON'T LET GO.

Its what keeps me goin.