First I want to say great job on all your efforts and days counted as AF to all those trying.
I am writing to see if there is a way to tell, and what it is I can do to help a friend, and came across MWO somehow through Goggle search...I've read many of the posting and there are so many positive and encouraging words - especially to each other.
I joined MWO in hopes that someone can tell me what if anything I can do to help a friend.
We have been on line friends - primarily through emails (minimal chat) with someone for about 18 months. We have always shared alot about our days in general, and something about ourselves. About 4 months ago, there was a sudden change in mood of emails, and when I asked was told - tired - bad day - got bad news - but no specifics....At first let it pass and thought other things to do, but then it seemed he had something to tell me, but not sure what - suspected he had become involved with someone, and our daily emailing was about to stop. I suggested in a subtle way that if it was taking too much of his time to email everyday, to just write when he had time...and would always love to hear from him.
The response to this floored me, and have been torn apart ever since - he told me that some of his weekend routines I had been used to had suddenly changed, approx. the time I noticed change in his writings - and that he had been lying to me - he was an alcoholic - and that feeling he would be letting me down, and not being able to be the type of man I deserved in my life - he started lying about things. We having written back and forth for the past 2 weeks, and more things have come out...most importantly this seems to have been a problem with him for anywhere from 5 - 10 years minimum - he will not answer all that I ask - and his last email was most disturbing as he referred to himself as "pitiful and selfish" and embarassed about the person he really is.
This is a very caring and loving person, who recognizes he has lost friends, family, job opportunities, and just enjoying life because of his drinking.
I emailed him the MYO site....told him to talk to his Dr....if not the Dr. at least the pharmacist about some of the supplements that are recommended here...he insists that it is hopeless to try anything without Detox....and that is not a possibility because of risk of losing his job. I am in Canada he is in California - I have no ideas as to what if any protection is avail for employees who enter detox - I also have no idea as to if there is any financial assistance avail.
Sorry this is so wordy .... my greatest concern is that I'm unsure if telling me was really a plea for help....a cry of desperation....or if he really wants to at the very least reduce his alcohol consumption. He told me he had contacted a detox centre and they told him with the amount he is drinking would require at least a 90 day stay....I told him to talk to Dr. first that perhaps that centre was more interested in money than the patient. I got no respsonse...and he won't tell me how much he is drinking but did tell me he has had convulsions and what I thought were symptons of an ulcer, has now been admitted as abuse of system.
Think you have idea of picture - and being purely a social drinker with a consumption of maybe 3 bottles of wine A YEAR...you can appreciate I don't understand completely how
alcohol overtakes your life. What I want to know is what I can and should do to help him.
I'm afraid of pushing to hard....I'll just become a deleted name on his email address book.
He's asked me just to be here when he needs me....and have tried to and intend to always be. I've sent smiles and hugs when he's told me - he took my advise and spent day away from apt walking, shopping going to the park, and glad his dinner tasted and was enjoyed so much more on these nights....but of course I'm skeptical if I'm being played, as he told me his drinking has been the end of all relationships....or if he really has the desire to quit/curb his habit.
I was thinking of sending one of the packages from MWO, but unsure which would be the best as without medical attention don't want him to start any supplements without the advise of a Doctor.
Any help, suggestions, support would be most appreciated....and if the best thing to do is walk away until he is ready to committ to what he says and get professional help to do so is best.... I need to know
congrats again to all who have mastered another day AF.....keep up the great work
I am writing to see if there is a way to tell, and what it is I can do to help a friend, and came across MWO somehow through Goggle search...I've read many of the posting and there are so many positive and encouraging words - especially to each other.
I joined MWO in hopes that someone can tell me what if anything I can do to help a friend.
We have been on line friends - primarily through emails (minimal chat) with someone for about 18 months. We have always shared alot about our days in general, and something about ourselves. About 4 months ago, there was a sudden change in mood of emails, and when I asked was told - tired - bad day - got bad news - but no specifics....At first let it pass and thought other things to do, but then it seemed he had something to tell me, but not sure what - suspected he had become involved with someone, and our daily emailing was about to stop. I suggested in a subtle way that if it was taking too much of his time to email everyday, to just write when he had time...and would always love to hear from him.
The response to this floored me, and have been torn apart ever since - he told me that some of his weekend routines I had been used to had suddenly changed, approx. the time I noticed change in his writings - and that he had been lying to me - he was an alcoholic - and that feeling he would be letting me down, and not being able to be the type of man I deserved in my life - he started lying about things. We having written back and forth for the past 2 weeks, and more things have come out...most importantly this seems to have been a problem with him for anywhere from 5 - 10 years minimum - he will not answer all that I ask - and his last email was most disturbing as he referred to himself as "pitiful and selfish" and embarassed about the person he really is.
This is a very caring and loving person, who recognizes he has lost friends, family, job opportunities, and just enjoying life because of his drinking.
I emailed him the MYO site....told him to talk to his Dr....if not the Dr. at least the pharmacist about some of the supplements that are recommended here...he insists that it is hopeless to try anything without Detox....and that is not a possibility because of risk of losing his job. I am in Canada he is in California - I have no ideas as to what if any protection is avail for employees who enter detox - I also have no idea as to if there is any financial assistance avail.
Sorry this is so wordy .... my greatest concern is that I'm unsure if telling me was really a plea for help....a cry of desperation....or if he really wants to at the very least reduce his alcohol consumption. He told me he had contacted a detox centre and they told him with the amount he is drinking would require at least a 90 day stay....I told him to talk to Dr. first that perhaps that centre was more interested in money than the patient. I got no respsonse...and he won't tell me how much he is drinking but did tell me he has had convulsions and what I thought were symptons of an ulcer, has now been admitted as abuse of system.
Think you have idea of picture - and being purely a social drinker with a consumption of maybe 3 bottles of wine A YEAR...you can appreciate I don't understand completely how
alcohol overtakes your life. What I want to know is what I can and should do to help him.
I'm afraid of pushing to hard....I'll just become a deleted name on his email address book.
He's asked me just to be here when he needs me....and have tried to and intend to always be. I've sent smiles and hugs when he's told me - he took my advise and spent day away from apt walking, shopping going to the park, and glad his dinner tasted and was enjoyed so much more on these nights....but of course I'm skeptical if I'm being played, as he told me his drinking has been the end of all relationships....or if he really has the desire to quit/curb his habit.
I was thinking of sending one of the packages from MWO, but unsure which would be the best as without medical attention don't want him to start any supplements without the advise of a Doctor.
Any help, suggestions, support would be most appreciated....and if the best thing to do is walk away until he is ready to committ to what he says and get professional help to do so is best.... I need to know
congrats again to all who have mastered another day AF.....keep up the great work
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