will power failing

[chilli]

Hi Guys
Havnt been on for a few days, have been working a lot, just a excuse had another fall, friday night finished work, girl at work asked if i wanted to go for a drink, told her i was on a detox, but thought i need to meet people or i will go insane, told myself one would not hurt, we had two then i got a bottle of red for when i got home( with the intention of only having a couple more, cds will kick in right) wrong bottle gone, got on phone babbled to my friends (that dont ring unless i ring them) thought what the hell i will ring them, then played my daughters guitar (which i can not play) and generally felt sorry for myself, dont get me wrong i did think of getting on here, then i conviced myself what a loser i was to spend my weekends talking to complete strangers who i probably can never meet, and scared that i was going to become a cat lady with 20 cats a computer and no life. How the bloody hell do you make friends and be social if you dont go out to pubs , clubs, even bloody dinner includes wine. Just read over this god no wonder no one wants to hang out with me. How bloody depressing, thank god i work in customer service so i can talk to people then, sorry i guess i expected a mircale when the tools arrived, but alas i have failed miserably, any tips, by the way have had a really sore throat and tong since going on supps is this normal or should i see the doc.
chill
:upset:

[Guest]

will power failing

Ahhh Chilli, I'm sorry you're having a bad row.

If you're a loser, than I am too..and I honestly don't think I am. I'm just working through some things.

We all have set backs, and it's depressing to have to go through. So many emotions, and being drunk or hungover make the being up even easier. It takes hard work to break an addiction, it doesn't happen over night. I fight with it everyday still. I still think about having a drink, sometimes it's all I think about.

I hope you are feeling a bit better. Get some fresh air, or scream if you need to. We're here for you.

[Guest]

will power failing

Chilli,
Cheer up, as none of us think you`re a loser. Alcohol just robs us of a lot of our self-esteem(has done that to me), but I think if we can start to manage the booze, rather than it managing us, then that self-esteem can return ten-fold.

And sure, you may only talk to all of us online, but that doesn`t make any of us less real. M.W.O. is a very real community, with very real people who genuinely care about others.

Sending you a big hug. Hope you feel better soon.

Starlight Impress

[eyesontheprize]

will power failing

Chilli, Give yourself a break. You've had the insight to realise there's a problem, and the bravery to decide to do something about it. It's hard, but the alternative is to go on as we were doing. If our 'real world' friends were able to support us every step of the way, communities like this wouldn't exist, but they can't, only people with similar problems can really understand. As other people have said, the depression and self loathing is part of the package of what alcohol does to your brain. I've only just started doing this, and I have huge admiration for everyone on this site. Re socialising without alcohol. I know people who used to drink a great deal and now don't. They still have great social lives. I saw a guy the other week who I've always been fond of, but used to rather dread seeing because he'd drink an enormous amount (even more than me!!) and get slurry then make a lunge at any passing female. We went out, had an utterly charming evening, he looks fit and happy, and actually seeing him look so well and content was one of the triggers for my deciding to try and quit. You're doing a wonderful thing, it will change your life. Nothing stays the same. It will get better. Good Luck.

[DiverRob]

will power failing

Hey Chilli :l

We all have set backs - I know I've had my share. The important thing is that you're back here! I certainly don't think you're a loser - you want to take care of yourself and change your habits - that makes you a hero in my books!

Take care of yourself and don't give up!

[gitawine]

will power failing

Chilli-
Want to feel terrible about yourself in a short amount of time?? Just add alcohol
I am the same way, I drink and then think about what a loser I am and all the terrible things in my life, and forget about all the good. You're here and trying...Don't give in to "all or nothing" thinking. You can go out w/ friends and still have your friends on MWO w/out turning into a Cat Lady. Keep on truckin'....

[rachel28]

will power failing

hey cheer u,, when my brother lived with me guess what he used to call me,? mad cat lady!!!!! its not just u belive me, my bro moved in with me an my son 4 yr ago, i was havin real ruff time 1ltr vodka an passin out,! my bro gave me an excuse to get OBLITERATED its all i wanted to do, i split with the love of my life , the boy next door,we split an it killed me seeing him everyday walkin past so i drunk A LOT. thats when my bro called me mad cat lady!!! he caught me in a bush,out side my house (where id fallen ) pissed as a rat talkin to a stinky grey stray cat!!! i have 1 cat an had 5 strays who used to come in 4 a cuddle an food,my brother said id end up a mad old lady wiv 100s of cats!! i left that place an have lived with new partner 4 3 yrs , i have left the house but the drink moved in with me, i stopped drinkin to be sad an forget, i drank cos i was happy, i was a happy drunk untill now, its been quite a blur the last 3 yrs but i know my child is more stable than ever an i have a partner who has just realised my problem, i vowed today i would only have 4 cans all dy i messed that 1 already, i not even gonna make an excuse, im not gonna beat my self up, i just make every 1 else miserable when im pissed at myself, im just gonna not get hammered that is an improvement, just tell yourself that talkin on here shows that u r thinking about ways to stop, u r also makin the thoughts in your head real, just by expressin them on here, i was dubious but as every 1 prob has guessed, i dont shut up, i have constant thought spinnin round my head, i forget most of em by end of daybut if i tell u guys, by bein honest on hear im starting to b honest wiv myself, well i dont know if any of that makes sense but dont b down on yourself cat lady,

[rachel28]

will power failing

at least u r not a mad cat lady ey, !!!!

[buffy]

will power failing

Hey Chilli, what's wrong with having 20 cats and sitting by the computer all day????...just kidding...I have a feeling it might be easy to think that all this is a bit like the "magic pill", so many of us look for in weight loss. There is always some pain and effort in things we do if we want results...All of this is so helpful, but you have to work it...I hope this doesn't sound like a lecture, I have to tell myself this very day. I am the one in charge of me....! I know there is more to it than that, but for me that is the most important thing I have found in my life. I can't expect anyone or anything to do for me that which I can and need to do for myself.

[Change]

will power failing

chilli;148515 wrote: i was going to become a cat lady with 20 cats a computer and no life.

Don't. You're almost describing me!

I believe you can have a good time not drinking. Drinking is not fun, it is embarrassing... sometimes. Just tune in to the drinking people's energy and join the ride for a little while, whilst sticking to lemon, lime and bitters or something. I also believe you can meet people while not drinking. Just make sure you spend your energy on somebody who's on the same wavelength as you. You don't want to end up with another drunk... :H . Bad joke, but you know what i mean.

I think the secret to going out and not drinking is to leave early, before that point where everybody becomes really drunk. If you stay around for this, you are wasting your time, because you will likely need a translator by then anyway!

[betty boop]

will power failing

Ahhh Chilli ..... It's OK im a loser too ..... Spending all weekend on here .....

You CAN do this, breath deep and start again ...

Love & HUgs, BB

[hart]

will power failing

I had to break in here. When I was a little girl there was an older lady, I thought old, but looking back she was probably in her 50s, (for some reason doesn't seem so old now) She lived in a trailer and had probably about 20+ cats. Didn't drink. I thought she was cool and I wanted to grow up like her!

Alas, I am not that old yet, live in a house, have ONLY 3 cats and 1 dog. She seemed happier.

(((Chilli)))

I too have had my will power fail lately, I have every sympathy. Joe and I decided no drinking during the week, and after last weekend, drinking during the weekend wasn' too fun, don't know about it. I think you and I need to find out WHY we are unhappy and reaching for the booze. What needs fixing?:bonkers:

[louise]

will power failing

Chilli, You have been doing really well and I hope you can focus on that and not this one day of being back to old habits. I'm sure when you are feeling better you can think of lots of ways to meet others that don't involve alcohol. We just are all in such a habit of thinking that everything social (actually everything) has to include alcohol. I would not even consider going to a restaurant for a casual weeknight dinner with my husband if they did not serve alchohol. I'm starting to remember all the other things I used to do and I'm sure you will too.

[rachel28]

will power failing

i justgot to say i never meant i wouldnt want to b mad cat lady, i love cats, i seem to end up wiv strays all time, i just remembered how miserable i was bk then