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Shadowforest
April 9th, 2016, 04:54 AM
47 year old mum of older kids.

I have been heavy drinking for many years. Red wine is my poison of choice. A bottle barely touches the sides. Can easily polish off 2 or more.

Sick of the way I feel. Functioning with full time job etc

Decided to start this journal to keep track of what I'm drinking. Going to gradually cut down. Scared of withdrawal symptoms. Do t go a day without alcohol so ensure whether will get withdrawal or not.

Cut down starts today. Aim to be AF by 1st July.

I'm love running. I'm overweight so terribly slow. I want to cut the alcohol, lose the weight, focus on healthy eating and not come near last in a race.

Here goes.

Guitarista
April 9th, 2016, 05:11 AM
You can do it Shadowforest. I'm just back from a trail run today actually. Near a big surf beach way out of town. Good feeling. You can do it. G

available
April 9th, 2016, 05:24 AM
Hi Shadow and welcome. 51 year old mother of 4 grown up children. Used to be what i classified myself as a functioning alcoholic and now am sober and happy. Two plus night drinker of white wine. I only drank on days ending in a Y so i pretty well had everyday covered.

Now life is great.

We all withdraw differently so do what you think is best for you. I stopped one day and just decided to let my body heal slowly and one day at a time. I knew in myself if i kept on drinking it would justify myself to just keep it up especially if i was stressed which seemed to be a major trigger for me.

The newbies nest is a great place to pop in and get to know others. Lots of great threads to read to keep you motivate.

Eloise
April 9th, 2016, 06:11 AM
Hey Shawdow!! 48 over here, almost 2 years sober and want to reiterate You Can Do This!! And, it is worth it!!
I am still listening to the Bubble Hour podcasts, they really sealed the deal for me... gave me soooo many reasons why the only sensible option was to stop drinking.
They also made me realize that drinking too much is not the sign of a bad character. We are not horrible people, we just developed a drinking problem. Good for you for recognizing it is time handle the situation!

Shadowforest
April 10th, 2016, 07:47 AM
Well last night had 5 large glasses wine. One glass short of 2 bottles.

Did make it out for a hungover 10k run this morning. Slow one.

Not beating myself up about the wine. That the most I am going to have.

Going down from now.

lex
April 10th, 2016, 11:59 AM
shadowfest- good luck with this but it might be a good idea to bite the bullet and get in, say, 30 days AF. Listen, if you can run a 10k with a hangover surely you can notch up 30 days! Good luck either way!!

Shadowforest
April 10th, 2016, 01:05 PM
I would love to. In 18 months I've only managed 1 day AF. not sure if can and scared of withdrawal symptoms. May be I read too much about DTs but have had a close friend die of DTs.

I ran a marathon last year while drinking heavy during training. I can run and drink. I'm slow. I'm fat cos I drink too much. What can I achieve if I don't drink. I'm not just doing it for running though. I want to be healthy.

Byrdlady
April 10th, 2016, 01:31 PM
Hey Shadow and welcome!

None of us here are doctors, so all we can do is share what worked for us. For ME (and this is just ME), whenever I tried to taper off and EASE into it, I just didnt get anywhere....here's the thing, I started out with intentions of not having as much that day, but once I had a couple, my judgement was impared so off I went. I evenually just went cold turkey. I drank a liter (bottle and a half) a day, much more on weekends. I didnt have any DT's but you can expect to be anxious, after all, we aren't getting our fix. The taper is a good idea in theory, but if we could control this thing, we wouldnt be here. Cold turkey is actually more humane than the constant feeling of deprivation and impending doom of the taper. All of this is my opinion, and you know what they say about those!

I let the FEAR of quitting keep me from actually doing it for years. The thoughts of it are much worse than the reslity. Today, I feel so blessed to be free of AL's pull.

We are glad you're here! 2 good links in my signature line! All the best, Byrdie

Shadowforest
April 11th, 2016, 04:54 PM
Stopped at one bottle of wine tonight. Now drinking tea. Now that's an achievement. Seriously considering quitting altogether rather than tapering.

Shadowforest
April 12th, 2016, 04:53 PM
Same again. After a boot camp fitness session found bottle of wine. Wanted to continue but stopped and had tea so proud of myself. Xx

Shadowforest
April 12th, 2016, 04:55 PM
It's so much nicer to 'feel' bedtime rather than to collapse in a drunken stupor ��

lex
April 12th, 2016, 06:02 PM
I'm still thrilled about not going to bed groggy, and not waking up at 3 am feeling anxious, every night- and I've been sober for over a year now. In hindsight, having a few drinks every evening before dinner-which i did for some 30 years-was just plain stupid! Oh well live and learn.

SKendall
April 12th, 2016, 06:51 PM
I agree Shadow. I become optimistic when we have a newcomer b/c we get to experience them gaining a better life. There will be bumps along the way but it is all so worth it. Tapering might work for you and you may want to ask for medical help and if not you can buy an anxiety reliever OTC called Calm's Forte or google supplements for insomnia, anxiety, etc.

Good Luck

treetops
April 12th, 2016, 10:27 PM
That's great that you cut down on the wine Shadow. I was a very heavy drinker for many years but quit 3 and a half years ago. I agree with others that it is easier to quit than to try to taper. Too easy to finish an opened bottle of wine. I am always careful about offering advice because we are all different when it comes to withdrawal symptoms and you don't want to put yourself in danger.
When I first quit there was some sweating and headaches - nothing dangerous. but mostly it was crankiness and insomnia. This passed although I will always be a light sleeper. I lost a ton of weight and the puffiness from drinking. My health greatly improved and mentally I am so much better. Well well worth it.
Anyway keep posting and we will try to support you through this.

Shadowforest
April 12th, 2016, 11:23 PM
Thanks for kind words everyone. I keep thinking if I get my drinking down to a lower level then quit, the withdrawal won't be so bad, but not sure if it works like that.

I'm up fretting in the middle of the night. I have a lot to fret an]bout. Nothing serious. Just lots of issues giving me grief.

lex
April 13th, 2016, 11:56 AM
When I quit drinking I soon stopped finding myself up fretting in the middle of the night. So I'm betting you have that to look forward to if and when you do take the plunge into the calm waters of sobriety! 😀

Shadowforest
April 14th, 2016, 02:31 AM
Pleased with another night of sticking to 1 bottle of wine (although was strong 14.5 per cent), I have been having 2 bottles and more at weekend. Feeling loads better ready already. Feel like I can do this. ;)

Shadowforest
April 15th, 2016, 01:53 AM
Last night I was rubbish :cuss: I had some good news and felt I needed to celebrate it. Put it behind me. Planning on a no wine weekend.

treetops
April 15th, 2016, 02:06 AM
Hi there Shadow. One of the things for those of us who choose to be sober is that we decide that we dont need AL to be our buddy when we celebrate, commiserate, socialize, get angry, sad, watch TV, enjoy a sunset, keep warm in winter, get intimate with someone, relax in the bath etc. These are all things that millions of people do all over the world (well mostly) without AL. Sure, our social conditioning and habits have shown us otherwise -but it doesn't have to be this way. It seems like it does but the occasion, moment or feelings itself are what it is about. Others may drink but thats their choice or their addiction.
It takes time to get this way of seeing AL as an annoying and unnecessary addition to our lives - and remember most of us here on MWO are addicted.
It might seem like a struggle but IMO once you let go and accept your addiction and dont see it as a battle or a struggle it really helps. You arent powerless in any of this. But we need help and extra support (for some medication) to get to this shift in thinking.
Keep at it.

Shadowforest
April 17th, 2016, 02:17 AM
I did it. Last night one bottle of fruit cider. That's so bit a drink. Raring to go this morning.

treetops
April 17th, 2016, 03:17 AM
Good on you Shadow. It will get easier and have a great day. Just post here before you get the urge to drink.

Shadowforest
April 17th, 2016, 11:59 AM
Well I did well last night. One bottle of fruit cider. Today weather is great .n sitting in garden drinking wine. 2 bottles then will stop. This might sound bad but this weekend, I've so cut down on what I would normally have. I'm doing it xx

actiongirl46
April 20th, 2016, 10:57 PM
Hey Shadow, how's it going today? I hope you are well

Shadowforest
April 21st, 2016, 02:27 AM
Hi action girl. I'm good thanks. Planning an AF day today. I can do this.

treetops
April 21st, 2016, 02:49 AM
Yes you can do this. Be well.

Shadowforest
July 23rd, 2016, 03:12 AM
7 days AF!! OMG. I have enforced this by going to a retreat for one week. Drinking fresh juice only all week and no alcohol. No withdrawal symptoms. I go home today. I need to adapt to this new life of moderation. At least I know I can stop. It's just stopping that the problem.

available
July 23rd, 2016, 03:43 AM
Great work on 7 days af Shadow. If you have 7 days you have done the worst and your body is now healing. My feelings are that for an alcoholic moderation is not really possible. The only one stopping you from stopping is yourself. I knew that i had to be accountable for not drinking and take on strategies that worked for me so i didnt go to the bottle. You will feel amazing every day. I have my childrens friends over drinking at the moment and as much as i would like that "one", i cant. But i am happy with my coffee and everyone knows i cannot have one. Its funny as they apologise for drinking in front of me and this is 2 and a half years of being sober.