morn all..how are we ...small band on here yesterday...was it something I said or smelt funny?there were no jokes so it cant be that!!watched the invictus games last night...yeee more golds!!aprt from that,bit of a busy day...final total at the dentists yesterday...4hr 35 in the chair,19 injections!and I think it is 18 stitches in the top of my mouth...plus lotsa drilling and messing about...half way thru the anasthetic was wearing off,jeez I nearly hit the roof..hence the extra needles..hopefully thats the worst bit over...so its dribbly mince and soup for the next couple of days for me...weather has turned a bit blowy today..also got Jeeves adoption papers thru ,so he is now officially part of the madhouse!!
brew time ...going to try one...
hiya Sam...hope you slept better mate,have the deeds issues been sorted out ,or at least on the way?hope you had a good one yesterday..
hiya pauly ..hows you then?all good I hope..did you sleep?someone is defo hoggin the sandman ,sleep fairy,Ive been up since 5!!have a good day too...
mornin Lav ..hows you then today...still not playing out in the garden?Ive got quite a bit to do today,and repot seeds up too..they have just shot up with the weather we have had..anyway here you go a brew for you..have a great day ...
big shout to all the missing ,the lurkers and anyone else have a great day...
13096299_989885774393842_1214046986004275561_n.jpg
13119010_10209996867185093_8315560890414295938_n.jpg
joke01.jpg
a toothless termite walked into a bar.."Is the bar tender here?"
Q: What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?
A: Shoot him again.
What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of the clause.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, "Uh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard. "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!" Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear. "Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says. "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
A C-141-A Starlifter had been delayed for take-off for over an hour at Thule Air Force Base, Greenland, because a sewage repository had not been pumped out.
Finally a young airman wanders up to the aircraft with the appropriate equipment.
The airman fiddles around for a while, does his thing, and then gets ready to leave.
The aircraft commander, a young captain, confronts the airman. "You've caused me to be two hours late for my take-off.
I'll see that you are not only reprimanded, but punished as well! "
At that the young airman, smiles.
"Sir, with all due respect, I have no stripes, I'm stationed at Thule, Greenland, it's 20 degrees below zero, and I'm pumping shit from your aircraft.
Just what kind of punishment did you have in mind? "
The US standard railroad gauge (width between the two rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.
Why did the English build them like that ?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then ?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
The first long distance roads in Europe (and England) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots first formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for (or by) Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheelspacing.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Specifications and bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you maybe exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses. Thus, we have the answer to the original question.
Now the extraterrestrial twist to the story...
When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, the major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.
And you wonder why it's so hard, to get ahead in this world...
brew time ...going to try one...
hiya Sam...hope you slept better mate,have the deeds issues been sorted out ,or at least on the way?hope you had a good one yesterday..
hiya pauly ..hows you then?all good I hope..did you sleep?someone is defo hoggin the sandman ,sleep fairy,Ive been up since 5!!have a good day too...
mornin Lav ..hows you then today...still not playing out in the garden?Ive got quite a bit to do today,and repot seeds up too..they have just shot up with the weather we have had..anyway here you go a brew for you..have a great day ...
big shout to all the missing ,the lurkers and anyone else have a great day...
13096299_989885774393842_1214046986004275561_n.jpg
13119010_10209996867185093_8315560890414295938_n.jpg
joke01.jpg
a toothless termite walked into a bar.."Is the bar tender here?"
Q: What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?
A: Shoot him again.
What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, the other has a pause at the end of the clause.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, "Uh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard. "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!" Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear. "Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says. "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"
A C-141-A Starlifter had been delayed for take-off for over an hour at Thule Air Force Base, Greenland, because a sewage repository had not been pumped out.
Finally a young airman wanders up to the aircraft with the appropriate equipment.
The airman fiddles around for a while, does his thing, and then gets ready to leave.
The aircraft commander, a young captain, confronts the airman. "You've caused me to be two hours late for my take-off.
I'll see that you are not only reprimanded, but punished as well! "
At that the young airman, smiles.
"Sir, with all due respect, I have no stripes, I'm stationed at Thule, Greenland, it's 20 degrees below zero, and I'm pumping shit from your aircraft.
Just what kind of punishment did you have in mind? "
The US standard railroad gauge (width between the two rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.
Why did the English build them like that ?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did "they" use that gauge then ?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
The first long distance roads in Europe (and England) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots first formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for (or by) Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheelspacing.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Specifications and bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's ass came up with it, you maybe exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses. Thus, we have the answer to the original question.
Now the extraterrestrial twist to the story...
When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, the major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.
And you wonder why it's so hard, to get ahead in this world...
Comment