mornin all ..hows we today then?all good I hope..I aint feeling too clever today..ha (when was I EVER clever???)bit rubbish ..to be honest..anyways..on we go brew time it is...
hia ppqp...how are ou today?hopefully feeling a bit better...Im sorry ,but I do read a lot,but probably not the kind of books you read..westerns,thrills historical fiction..anything but horror and sci fi....as for the memories and anxieties coming back...the memories will always be there,but the anxieties ..it depends what slant you put on it..try and turn the negs into positives ..and dont forget ..that pm door is always open... have a look at these books..Ill gurantee you will want the anxieties back instead of reading this crap!!
4 Worst Book Covers and Titles Ever | Bored Panda
mornin byrdie ...hows you then?your post.... I can identify with the racing mind......you mean like the missing toytoys on that poster in Dublin?baking today or just busy doing nothing?
Lav...mail order chicks...hope they are in a padded envelope!!!hows you today then?still recovering?heres a coffee to drink in the hoomid weather there!
hey sam ..hows you then mate?still groinin along?hows the chicks?
hey pauly..lovely pic on fb big wave to yoo too!!hope all is well..
right folks thats me for the offski..have a good one
Funny bumper stickers:
Do we know each other? No? Then please keep your distance.
Sure, overtake me if you want. We'll meet again at the next traffic light.
Braking is for suckers.
Am I driving too close in front of you?
Escape vehicle. Please do not park too close.
I'm also lost. There's no need to follow me.
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
Friends come and go. Enemies pile up.
When you don't know the answer or perhaps you don't want to say:
I will now answer you with a direct and unequivocal "maybe".
WARNING: Alcohol consumption may cause you to think that you are whispering when you are quite definitely not.
When somebody has a belly ache or doesn't feel well, why not cheer them up with:
Ah, you've been nibbling from the loo again, haven't you.
I’m very sorry about all those texts I sent you last night, unfortunately, my phone was drunk.
Did you see (or possibly get) a bad hairdo?
I wonder what the hairstylist does for a living...
When a bird hits your window, how do you know God isn’t playing Angry Birds with you?
It's funny how many people get mad when a sentence doesn't end as they carrot juice.
Interesting status update:
9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I'm crazy. The tenth is humming.
When you're late:
I'm never late. The others are simply too early!
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles.
Tell me what you need from me and I'll tell you how to manage without it.
The shortest horror story: Monday.
What would you, as an uninvolved party, say on the topic of intelligence?
How to win the heart of a woman? Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her.
How to win the heart of a man? Come naked and carry a pack of beer.
Intelligence relentlessly rides in your wake - but you are faster.
What to say when nature calls in a polite but understanding society?
1. Pray excuse me, I have a stool appointment.
2. Please excuse me while I go check the plumbing.
3. Pardon me, I have 6 pounds of boneless mass to get rid of.
4. Excuse me please, I have to go hide a treasure.
5. I'm sorry, I have to quickly disable alarm level brown.
7. Excuse me while I go on a ride on the porcelain steamer.
10. I'll be right back, I just have to quickly set free a good friend of mine.
12. Excuse me, I have to excrete.
4 bottles of bleach: $20.00. A coil of rope, 4 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $45.00. 3 boxes of XXL bin liners: $10.00.
The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!
Good persuasion technique:
Come over to the dark side... we've got candy.
A truth of life:
Only ever trust your own butt to always stand behind you!
Don't share the host's music taste?:
"I believe they are actually using this music to keep the hobos from train stations."
Need to defend a messy apartment?
We maintain an alternative lifestyle
A smooth break-up line:
There was a time when I would have given myself to you, now I'm not even willing to throw up in your direction.
Thank you, I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow creates a new hairdo for me every morning.
What not to say when you get pulled over:
Police officer: Papers.
Driver: Scissors.
Problems at school?
Dear math exercise book, kindly grow up finally and solve your own problems!
Sunday early bird:
Why do you call so early? It is Sunday! 3 pm in the morning!!!
hia ppqp...how are ou today?hopefully feeling a bit better...Im sorry ,but I do read a lot,but probably not the kind of books you read..westerns,thrills historical fiction..anything but horror and sci fi....as for the memories and anxieties coming back...the memories will always be there,but the anxieties ..it depends what slant you put on it..try and turn the negs into positives ..and dont forget ..that pm door is always open... have a look at these books..Ill gurantee you will want the anxieties back instead of reading this crap!!
4 Worst Book Covers and Titles Ever | Bored Panda
mornin byrdie ...hows you then?your post.... I can identify with the racing mind......you mean like the missing toytoys on that poster in Dublin?baking today or just busy doing nothing?
Lav...mail order chicks...hope they are in a padded envelope!!!hows you today then?still recovering?heres a coffee to drink in the hoomid weather there!
hey sam ..hows you then mate?still groinin along?hows the chicks?
hey pauly..lovely pic on fb big wave to yoo too!!hope all is well..
right folks thats me for the offski..have a good one
Funny bumper stickers:
Do we know each other? No? Then please keep your distance.
Sure, overtake me if you want. We'll meet again at the next traffic light.
Braking is for suckers.
Am I driving too close in front of you?
Escape vehicle. Please do not park too close.
I'm also lost. There's no need to follow me.
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
Friends come and go. Enemies pile up.
When you don't know the answer or perhaps you don't want to say:
I will now answer you with a direct and unequivocal "maybe".
WARNING: Alcohol consumption may cause you to think that you are whispering when you are quite definitely not.
When somebody has a belly ache or doesn't feel well, why not cheer them up with:
Ah, you've been nibbling from the loo again, haven't you.
I’m very sorry about all those texts I sent you last night, unfortunately, my phone was drunk.
Did you see (or possibly get) a bad hairdo?
I wonder what the hairstylist does for a living...
When a bird hits your window, how do you know God isn’t playing Angry Birds with you?
It's funny how many people get mad when a sentence doesn't end as they carrot juice.
Interesting status update:
9 out of 10 voices in my head say that I'm crazy. The tenth is humming.
When you're late:
I'm never late. The others are simply too early!
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
If love is blind, then marriage is its spectacles.
Tell me what you need from me and I'll tell you how to manage without it.
The shortest horror story: Monday.
What would you, as an uninvolved party, say on the topic of intelligence?
How to win the heart of a woman? Kiss her, love her, go to the end of the world for her.
How to win the heart of a man? Come naked and carry a pack of beer.
Intelligence relentlessly rides in your wake - but you are faster.
What to say when nature calls in a polite but understanding society?
1. Pray excuse me, I have a stool appointment.
2. Please excuse me while I go check the plumbing.
3. Pardon me, I have 6 pounds of boneless mass to get rid of.
4. Excuse me please, I have to go hide a treasure.
5. I'm sorry, I have to quickly disable alarm level brown.
7. Excuse me while I go on a ride on the porcelain steamer.
10. I'll be right back, I just have to quickly set free a good friend of mine.
12. Excuse me, I have to excrete.
4 bottles of bleach: $20.00. A coil of rope, 4 rolls of duct tape, and a shovel: $45.00. 3 boxes of XXL bin liners: $10.00.
The look on the cashier’s face: Priceless!
Good persuasion technique:
Come over to the dark side... we've got candy.
A truth of life:
Only ever trust your own butt to always stand behind you!
Don't share the host's music taste?:
"I believe they are actually using this music to keep the hobos from train stations."
Need to defend a messy apartment?
We maintain an alternative lifestyle
A smooth break-up line:
There was a time when I would have given myself to you, now I'm not even willing to throw up in your direction.
Thank you, I don’t need a hairstylist. My pillow creates a new hairdo for me every morning.
What not to say when you get pulled over:
Police officer: Papers.
Driver: Scissors.
Problems at school?
Dear math exercise book, kindly grow up finally and solve your own problems!
Sunday early bird:
Why do you call so early? It is Sunday! 3 pm in the morning!!!
Have you had a look at this thread? 
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