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    Back...and Trying Again

    Well, I'm back. The last month or so has been rather stressful, and I haven't been trying to deal with the drinking and everything else. But after last night and a serious talk from my husband this morning, I have to give this a try again. It's bad enough that I hurt myself with alcohol, but it is something entirely different when I hurt someone else (my husband). At least for today...no alcohol.

    I take comfort that so many others are struggling with this addiction, and some actually succeed in abstaining. I don't really care if I abstain or moderate...I just have to stop abusing myself and getting drunk.

    Words of encouragement are appreciated! I am taking the supplements, including l-glut, drink no caffeine, exercise regularly, and eat healthfully. I don't really experience cravings, although I do think a lot about drinking, and I know I have an awful, awful habit (addiction) that is incredibly hard to break.

    Thanks for letting me come back and share,
    Sante

    #2
    Back...and Trying Again

    Oh, I am so like you, Sante.
    Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.
    Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

    Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

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      #3
      Back...and Trying Again

      Hi Sante,
      Good for you in coming back. You`ll be O.K. and you will find your way........just takes for it to be "the right time".

      Wishing you luck and love,

      Starlight Impress

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        #4
        Back...and Trying Again

        Sante it's great you are doing this. I recommend AF at least at first, it's soooo easy after one to have more for some of us. I know if I do I think, well I blew it. I wish you well:welcome:

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          #5
          Back...and Trying Again

          Welcome back. Do you use the cds? I have found them helpful. Feel free to join us on the newbies in need thread or one of the other daily support threads, they are very helpful as well.

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            #6
            Back...and Trying Again

            Welcome back Sante,

            Great decision! I've already lost my marriage due largely to drink - what a waste! I only wish we'd been able to find different priorities earlier...

            Whatever your motivation, let this be the start of your new life (and your husband's!) - it sounds like your already well-organised so day 2 here you come! I also found that going AF was the easiest way to quiet the voices in my head - by cutting out the option of drinking it stopped the continual arguments in my head, the negotiations, the battle of wills - I also found it got easier as time went on, because I enjoyed being sober too much and didn't want to lose that. The excercise is important to good to see you're ahead of the game!

            Best of luck and stick with us - we're all in it together :l
            :rays: Arial

            Last first day - 15th April 2012
            Goals:
            Days 1-7 DONE
            Days 8-14 DONE
            Days 15-21 DONE
            30 days DONE
            60 days
            100 days

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              #7
              Back...and Trying Again

              Thanks to all of you for your support.

              I've posted before about my mother who is dying. I have been spending every Thursday with her (and my dad) since last October. It's hard not to reach for the bottle for solace at the end of the day...and long drive home. Last night I didn't get home until 9 PM and had to drive through terrible rain for 2.5 hours!

              Anyway, I did drink last night, but I didn't get drunk or pass out, like I usually do. Can I consider that "progress"?

              I'm so grateful for this site...and I get so much out of reading others' struggles and successes. I just pray if I keep trying, one day it will all fall in place. In the meanwhile, awareness and honesty must count for something.

              Sante

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                #8
                Back...and Trying Again

                Awareness and honesty DO count for something, Sante.... And, as for "progress"--sometimes progress is just not giving up!

                You're pointed in the right direction--no need to look backwards--
                "I'm a sucker for a good resurrection story." Anne Lamott

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                  #9
                  Back...and Trying Again

                  Sujul, thanks for the encouragement. I know if I'm not "positive" about this and the affirmations I remind myself with (for why I want to stop/reduce my drinking) I'll end up in a worse place. I have so many good things going for me...I really need to hang onto them.

                  Sante

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                    #10
                    Back...and Trying Again

                    Sante: I remember your posts & enjoyed them. I'm glad you're back. I'm trying the one day at a time approach. Today I didn't drink & feel good about that. I was able to be completely present to life...myself, my husband, my friends. It was a great relief. Keep posting. Mary
                    Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                    October 3, 2012

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                      #11
                      Back...and Trying Again

                      hey sante. go to the subscriber section and check out the thread to paula. rj just posted something that i just actually printed. and although i'm so grateful to rj wasn't cuz she persay wrote it. it was what she said. just nailed it for me. so instead of the bootsie ramble. ooh that could be like a dance or something. go check that out and print it up. i do believe you could get that analogy about having not drinking be way more important then drinking. building upon that. and, i think each of us who is in the place you are believes at one time or another on one day that our addiction is huge. then if we don't take that first drink, why we've just scored one for our side. werid analogy but i did grow up in the country. there are days you will eat the bear and there are days the bear will eat you. so today you will eat the bear. uh sincerely hope you are not a vegetarian or vegan and that i have offended you. :0
                      :welcome:

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                        #12
                        Back...and Trying Again

                        Sante: I can totally relate to hurting loved ones when I've been drinking. The things I've said to my husband and my children are things i would never say to them if i had been sober. Don't be to hard on yourself...be kind to yourself and learn from it.
                        https://www.mywayout.org/community/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=3461&dateline=1183157830

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                          #13
                          Back...and Trying Again

                          Welcome back....We can do this together...the support helps so much....Great to see you here... Buckle

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