Hi..

[42cat]

Just found this site today. Have it bookmarked and am going to read it every day. Thanks to whoever created and/or looks after the site... seems like a wonderful thing for sure.

I am 42 and consider myself a functioning alcoholic (though that could be some denial talking) ... You know the story, I drink, but I also work, spend time with my family, et .. doesn't seem like anything's wrong.

Like many of you, I've been drinking since teenagehood. Back then, just the weekends. The last couple of years every day. THIS year in particular, I've been hiding my own bottle and only having a "couple" out of the rum bottle in the fridge... then sneaking more from my own stash without my husband's knowledge.

The guilt I've felt this year about this "lie" has been horrible. Also, this year, I've started drinking during the day. It began with just afternoon drinks after work - before picking up my husband from his job at 5:00 - yes, after drinking. Another reason I feel guilty and ashamed. How dare I drink and drive? What right do I have to endanger others, or myself. It is very wrong and I know it. Not sure how to stop it.

More recently, I've began having drinks BEFORE work if I am driving in to work by myself. In fact, I'm afraid to drive by myself without a drink to relax. I panic in heavy traffic.. and sometimes just because I'm driving alone.

So, lots of guilt. I know that this "disease" is progressive. I can see how it's progressed. I know it's not going to un-progress on its own. That's why I'm here.

I've read through a few threads and the support and advice are wonderful. Thanks for listening to my story. Hope to talk to you all again.

~Cat

[paula]

Hi..

Hi Cat and welcome, I understand exactly how you feel.
Good luck.Paula.

[lushy]

Hi..

Welcome Cat!! You have come to a great place. I would recommend maybe buying the book and seeing what aspects of the program you want to try. The supplements are very helpful with decreasing the cravings. Coming around here and posting and reading it also a big help as well!! :welcome:

[hart]

Hi..

Welcome Cat. I worry about your drinking and driving in heavy traffic. Can you take a transit bus or go to a nearby park and ride to cut the amount of distance driving?

I'm glad you are here! Have you considered taking a supplement to help? Have you talked to your doctor?

[karbihere]

Hi..

Hi cat welcome !!!!!!! love the Honesty gosh the story sounds alot like me and probably alot of us in here. Im new here to found this web site about a month ago and read it everyday it has helped. Stick around !!!!!

Your lucky you dont have a DUI just got charged with one and they took my license for a year. ( posted a thread here and it is called is the glass half full or empty)

There have been some wonderful people that responed and have given me alot of hope.
Guess just brought up in a REALLY negative envoirnment and took it with me in to adult and of course the BOTTLE came to. Anyways thanks again for your honesty and sharing!!!

[beatle]

Hi..

yes, welcome to you.
you have taken the first step by recognising and admitting the problem.
We're all trying to help each other with the same problem.
Keep trying, keep posting.

[sujul]

Hi..

Hi Cat and welcome!! I too progressed where I was drinking 24/7--I literally would get up in the night to have a drink...you REALLY don't want to get to that point....so, good for you to recognize what's happening...

I totally understand about the lying to the person you love and the guilt that produces....it was sneaking drinks and hiding bottles and LYING that finally got me to go for treatment. I felt like I was cheating on my partner of 15 yrs who loves and trusts me--and we both deserve better!

You've come to the right place!! There's lots of different viewpoints and all sorts of different personalities--but we ALL have this challenge in common: we want to change our relationship with alcohol. For me, that means being alcohol free--and after 14 mos my life is SO much better!! It's as though I was given a second chance and being the person I want to be....

Glad you're here!

[rachel28]

Hi..

hi a an welcome , join the club, i realised a few weeks ago, when i joined m w o, i think my body screaming at me cos id tried not 2 b drunk bt 10 am, 1 day, well not drunk, i say topped up wiv my morning medicine, used to b half bottle a brandy an a beer, b4 work, i realised brandy is killing me, i was an am experiencing pains all over my body, i think all drink or drug rlated, im 28, i know healthier pensioners, i began checking medical sights to pin point whats wrong wiv me basicaly, i cant remember how i found mwo , iwas extremly drunk 1 night after row wiv bf, whein i logged on in morning there it was, MY WAY OUT literally, id signed up 4 an account, its awful, i cant remember, but my way out of my hole has begun since the wonderfully caring , non judgemental people that r all on this site have done s like bein o much,the advice an genuine care is sometimes overwhelming, in such a good way. like every 1 who s found this site we r all looking for a way out or making sure they dont go back in , keep reading the posts an post some more, u will soon have a new addiction, take care xx

[IAD]

Hi..

Hi Cat,
We're all here to help each other. Read & Post. IAD :welcome:

[Fallen Prince]

Hi..

Hi

I just found this site today aswell, i think its going to really help being able to chat with people in similar situations.
I completley understand about the drinking & driving i found myself doing that even been banned for driving becuase of it, which made my drinking worse.
Good Luck

[Beaches]

Hi..

Welcome Cat and so happy you found this site and all of these people. I think you found us at the right time as well. I found the site when I started drinking during the day just to "level myself off" and feel normal. Stick around the people here are an amazing support and RJ has a great book. Download or order it and read it.

Best of luck to you.

[Guest]

Hi..

Hi Cat and a warm welcome.

Well, seems like you are acknowledging how far your drinking pattern has progressed, and that is half the battle. This site has allowed me to get myself in check: there are so many resources available here, and so many caring, supportive, like-minded people.

I wish you much luck,

Starlight Impress

[42cat]

Hi..

Thanks for the replies, you guys! I just got to work and the 2nd place I logged into was this site, which I'd bookmarked yesterday after I found it. Looking forward to reading through this morning.

It feels good to be understood. Really good, in a sort of "maybe I'm not the evil person that I feel I am sometimes. I actually feel good for seeking a "way out", which is a nice feeling. Now to move forward from here.

One thing I'm worried about is others finding out I have the problem... or that it's progressed to the state that it has. I know that confessing and moving on with "help" from family may be a good thing .... but if I could do this on my own, that would really be great and it's what I'd prefer.

On that note, when I order, for example, the supplements, how and when will they arrive? I usually get the mail, but my husband will have some time off soon and may pick up the mail himself .... and I'd really really really rather do this on my own in private. That's not a bad thing, is it?

Thanks again to everyone. I am in love with this site. Seriously. Thank you. I feel hope here.

~Cat