Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

[sheshe]

Hi everyone (wow, can't believe how hard just doing that much was!):new: .

I've been lurking for about a month and this is my first post. I have all of the supps (long story, had them to get off of anti-depressants) and take them religiously. I've been trying to identify my triggers and today really made it clear. I HATE HOUSEWORK!! I can't seem to even look at a dirty dish w/out wanting a shot of scotch ('nother long story - I may post to the "stories" board eventually). Taking care of a house is just like Sisyphus w/the damn boulder! It never ends, no one appreciates it, hell, nobody even NOTICES!!

I used to be an ambitious academic - working on my PhD in Philosophy (although, don't get me wrong! I've had a drinking problem for about 20 years) - had a baby and for the past 5 years have basically been stuck at home because I have a husband who travels 60-80% of the time. I guess my point is that I'm sitting here drinking because I've spent about 4 days (I run a business that's taken me away from the house for about 2 weeks) doing laundry/dishes/gathering up trash/vaccuuming, etc., etc., etc. AND I CANNOT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT W/OUT BEING TRASHED!!! How on earth does anyone find that rewarding? One more call from my husband telling me about the restaurant he ate at and complaining about the room service in his hotel may just finally send me over the edge - because I'm usually cleaning up cat vomit or a 5 year old's "accident".

OK - sorry so long and sorry if the suppressed hostility came out!

[lushy]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

Welcome She! Yes, being a stay-at-home home can definitely be a trigger. I work at home and it can be very tough at times to not to turn to the wine to help me get chores accomplished. Glad you found us and looking forward to hearing more....

[adagirl]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

I'm with ya on the housework. I'm a fairly new SAHM. Got laid off w/a nice severance package just over a year ago and decided not to go back to work until after the kiddos are in elementary school. They are almost two and almost four right now and it seems like elementary school is a long ways off now!!! LOL No more cleaning lady, no more nanny. I am it! Honestly, I just plain suck at housework. I'd rather take the kids out and just avoid it. Unlike you, I did not drink to motivate me to do housework, though. I'd just drink and then I wouldn't care that the house was messy. LOL

[Helensback]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

Housework

I dusted today
I drank today too.

I vacuumed and I vodka'd
I whiskey'd and I wiped.

I swept and I swilled
and I wept and I willed..

my life to change..

..so I could change too.



Hang in sheshe.

Helen

[sujul]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

Wow, Helen--fab poem!

Yeah, sheshe, I'm with ya too on the housework...I used to think if I could just have a few slugs of vodka then I'll just kind of putz around and get it done--like THAT was ever gonna happen! I would start with the vodka, continue with the wine and then just complain that we lived in a slum! Then I'd plan on doing it the next day BEFORE I started drinking but...you guessed it! I would suddenly think: well, a couple of slugs of vodka and I'll just putz around and get it done....yeah, did that day after day after....

I've been alcohol free for over 14 mos--my apartment doesn't look much better, but at least it's because I'm actually doing other things rather than laying around guzzling and being self-righteous about it!

Welcome, sheshe--you'll find lots of folks here who know what you're going through....

[uda]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

:welcome: sheshe - housework is a tricky one. I've spent years feeling extremely resentful and angry about having to do it and it not being appreciated in any way! Apart from it not being something I particularly enjoy, there were so many emotions tied up in it - jealousy at my husband for having a more interesting way of occupying himself, resentment at his lack of appreciation of my 'sacrifice', resentment that I was wasting my intelligence doing something menial.....And it's infinitely worse when you have young children (mine are pretty big now) because the mess reappears as you are clearing it up!

The only way I seem to be able to do it is by using it as occupational therapy - doing it when my brain is exhausted from other activities and I need something mindless and physical for a little while. Only works if I concentrate on the process (gently and methodically moving hoover/duster around) rather than the result (a clean and tidy house - I wish!) because the result, if ever achieved, is extremely temporary.

Yep, and I used to drink too to make it bearable and/or to make the mess bearable.

Take care
Uli

[Guest]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

Hi sheshe and welcome,

Yip, know exactly where you`re at............housework is but a necessary evil !!!! Think many of us girls feel that way, but like yourself, we just accept having to do it rather than live in a pig-sty. I like the way Mary Poppins does hers!!! lol

Think a dramatic life-style change, such as becoming a stay-at-home mum can often allow us to have less of a strict timetable and so it is that drink as a little `treat` can so easily slip into the free spells we have in the day. Also think in many respects that going from the world of academia/high fliers to the often mundane list of chores to be done at home could drive anyone to drink.

Think getting some new hobbies to occupy our free time is the way to go, and if you get yourself a hobby that really takes your interest, you`ll find yourself flying through the housework, just to get that bit of `me time`.

Best wishes,

Starlight Impress

[SKendall]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

Hey Sheshe and others. Saw a placque outside of a home recently that read "All of the women I know who have immaculate homes are truly boring". While I do not endorse a messy home, and actually function better in a tidy home, I have to say that when "housekeeping is my only mission in life" I truly lose interest.

If you have to keep it to a minimum, I always suggest in breaking down the tasks into 20 minute segements. 20 minutes in the bathroom will work wonders; 20 minutes vacuuming is a lot of vacuuming, 20 minutes in the kitchen will include stacking dishwasher or soaking of dishes, cleaning of counters, etc. you get the picture.

Glad to know you.

[sheshe]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

Well, great! Did it again. Now I have a hangover. My goal is no more blackouts, no more hangovers. Oh well, I think I'm gonna do another AF stint. I was doing so well - AF for almost a month, then moderating very well. What the hell? I wonder if it's not my period having an effect as well? At least the house is cleaner!

You hit the nail on the head with the emotions that are tied up in it! I am going to have to learn how to deal with those.

Oh well, damnit - another day, new start, AGAIN!

[Cinders]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

Welcome

SheShe,

I, too, hate house work.

I travel for a living and get to come home and clean up the house and do the laundry, pack my bag and go back on the road. Something wrong here. :H

My hubby does do a good job keeping the place picked up while I am gone, but he doesn't clean the toilets and tubs or mop the floors, and I have to throw the old food out and clean the fridge or the idiot will poison himself the following week.

I think I need a wife!!

btw, my "fun" on the road is usually sitting at the hotel bar "hanging" with the other travelers having "fun" on the road. I am trying to figure out other things to do like hanging out on MWO and swim in the pool for exercise, etc. Traveling is really not that much fun, usually long hours at the client and lots of time alone.

Cindi

PS :welcome: and Good Luck with staying AF for a while. Keep posting here and check out what others are doing to stay AF or Mods. So many are doing so well!!

[42cat]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

Newbie here ... Just wanted to say that I understand the housework thing ... and anything else that I feel is "boring" .... I can't even watch evening TV without a drink... The other morning, after my husband went to work, I made a vodka and diet coke and commenced with the housecleaning... as we had family coming later on for my oldest's graduation (high school) get-together.

Even as I was drinking/vacuuming/wiping, etc., I was thinking .. "Why do I need this drink? I don't really need this drink. This is ridiculous." .... Yet I had it anyway. I agree that it is likely an emotional thing. Getting no thanks for the effort ... caring so much and having no one notice ... or something ... or maybe just coping with a boring activity ... not sure what.

Anyway ... I just wanted to say that I understand an am coping with similar "stuff" ... hoping to ditch the bottle(s) ... including the hidden ones ... and get on with a better life. Good luck to you .. and all of us.

~Cat

[buffy]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

I feel the same way. Housework is boring. I was doing well also Sheshe. Af for almost a month, then moderating well. I got depressed about things and started to change my thinking. I get angry because my life seems to revolve around everyone elses needs. Picking up after everyone, taking care of everyone else so they can get on with their fun. When hubbys not at work he is golfing, kids come and go and leave a mess behind, dogs that need care, yard needs work, I am tired and pissed off. I need a vacation. I wish I still worked and could get on an airplane and leave. I started thinking like this last night, have a hangover this morning. I went to bed drunk and let my family get their own dinner. Of course there is a big mess in the kitchen this morning for me to clean up. Sorry about the complaining, I have it so much better than most, but feel like my life is passing me by and there is no way out.

[sheshe]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

Wow - it's really nice to know that I'm not the only one! Everything you all have said is exactly how I feel! Well, damnit, today I'm NOT cleaning! I'm gonna nurse my hangover, set some new goals, maybe putter around in the garden (which is what I really wanted to do last night!), and try to forgive myself for getting drunk yet again.

[buffy]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

Me too sheshe! I am going to do something for myself today, I think I will go shopping and buy myself something.

[imatree]

Newbie lurker and god do I hate housework!

I too hate housework.
One of the things I most look forward to in getting sober is having the energy to get and keep my house clean. As it is now, I work all day, come home fix dinner, have a glass of wine and am so completely exhausted I can't possibly get anything else done. Except, of course, pour another glass of wine.