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    1. #1
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      he dropped me again

      Im married to a man who drinks way too much, I have an almost 3 year old son, it doesnt happen every day, but when it happens, he goes off after work puts his phone off and comes home late.
      I am trying my best to let him be, and not to be a control freak, but we get into terible fights now and then because of this. Last Friday we were going to have a braai when he comes home after work. So I told my son were going to braai when his dad comes home from work, my boy was so excited, his father knew that we wanted to braai, when he comes home, but he chose to stay out until 12:00 that night, and I couldnt reach him cause he did put his phone off again. My whole problem is that he isnt just dropping me but now also my little boy, which I love so much, and also I realy love my husband as well, but when he is sober,,,and it realy hurts....

    2. #2
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      Zeppie2's Avatar

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      he dropped me again

      Hiya Jasmin, I am sorry to hear of your plight, living with an alcoholic must be tough, I cringe when I think of what I have put my ex partners through, but at the time I didn't care because my main focus was alcohol and nobody else. Your husband will need to decide for himself he is drinking way to much. I don't know how you will get him to see sense, for me it was loosing a great relationship (and then it took me over two years to see sense). I don't want to sound all doom and gloom. Could you encourage him to look at the site? Does he even admit he has a problem?
      Good luck, there is light at the end of the tunnel, it just takes some of us a long time to get there.
      I wish you and your little fellow well

    3. #3
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      he dropped me again

      Facyn,

      What do you mean?

      Jasmin you are in a tough place. I suggest you start reading about what you are going through and search for support.

    4. #4
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      he dropped me again

      Thankyou for the replies, I appreciate them...
      It has happened again, but this time he had a braai at work, and he came home drunk. He couldn't remember where he put the car keys, so he started looking for them as he wanted to go to the bottlestore to buy more beers before they close at 7 o clock. And this all while he cant even stand up properly..So he started screaming at me and say that I took them and I didnt, and then he screamed at our little boy that he took the key and ask him where did he put it? lol,,, I was very mad at him, for screaming at our boy .. he went to bed 7:15 because he couldnt find the key, so the next morning he found the keys in the sandpit....and he was very apologetic and took our boy and told him he was very sorry,,,then he didnt drink for almost 2 weeks, it was like living in heaven.....but then two nights ago on thursday night he didn't answer his phone after work again, and went and got drunk after work. He came home late and told me I am the wrong one, he needed to sort out something with a "General" so he couldnt phone me, there a pathetic excuse everytime. My whole family and in laws support us in this, but it is getting to a stage where I can see it hurts them also, so I dont want to tell them anymore. There is a GOD in heaven, and his son JESUS who died for us, so how can I turn my back on one of his other children who really needs help and guidance, and GOD is the only one who knows how much I really love this man and HE is the only one who can help my husband, no man can change another man, but God can, I trust Him and pray every day for my husband and I will one day look back and thank my wonderfull God for changing my husbands life around, as he did mine 14 years ago.. For me it isnt so much as the here and now, it is about what happens in eternity....thats how much i love him

    5. #5
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      he dropped me again

      Hi Jasmin!

      I have the same problem. My husband prefers the bottle to me. I have gone through many forms of his addiction and I hate to say it alcoholism is the worst.

      It causes me great anxiety when he is out drinking instead of being home with me, his wife. I need to learn how to cope with the emotional toll, such as rejection, low self esteem. Basically I feel like the biggest loser on the planet because he would rather drink.

      I know this is silly because I have read all the books about addiction so I understand it has nothing to do with me..

      but how can those professional say that and expect us to be ok??

      How about they TELL us how NOT to feel that way?

    6. #6
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      he dropped me again

      What is a "braai"? Some sort of party?

    7. #7
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      he dropped me again

      CS04;1268448 wrote: What is a "braai"? Some sort of party?
      I Googled braai. It's a barbecue.

    8. #8
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      he dropped me again

      I know what you are going through. My husband doesn't shut off his phones or go out alone all night, but when he drinks really bad his bi-polar kicks in really bad and he snaps on everyone. Usually the next day he has no clue what even happened. He has only been like that twice. I know he doesnt mean majority of the stuff he says to me, my family, or friends and that he just says it because he is drunk. Everyone asks me why I stay with him after "being drunk" he says that he is done with me and moving back to his home town/state. They don't understand it's because I love him dearly and want to help him through all this. Today he has agreed to stop drinking which is the first BIG step I think he has ever made, I just dont know how long it will last so that is why I am here. All I can say is that you have to hold your head up high. When he is sober talk to him about his drinking problem and also show him this website in hopes it might change his ways. My husband thought this site was a site where I sign him up for AA, but I told him and showed him that it wasn't like that, it was a site where he can go and relate to other's drinking habits like his and where he can have people to talk to that are in his shoes to help him get through this and help him get sober. Hopefully, he will sign up knowing I have and he will take his 2nd step to becoming sober again. Anyways, good luck with everything and I really do hope everything works you with you and your family.

    9. #9
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      he dropped me again

      How are you today Jasmine??

    10. #10
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      he dropped me again

      Hello Mrs. Just seen this. Have you been able to talk your husband into joining this site? That must be very difficult dealing with a bipolar spouse never mind adding al to the mix. I hope you are in no danger. I also hope that you have knowledgeable support as well.

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