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    1. #1
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      Son with Newborn is a Binge Drinker

      I have been struggling with my consumption of alcohol for some time now and have shared my struggles with my children. They all think I do not drink too much but I have, not only a physical attraction to having more than one drink but an emotional repulsion to booze as I have seen all the damage it has done to those I love. So, while I may have a glass or two of wine every few nights, my drinking is not out of control.... but my son's is.

      He is 31 and had been single and a heavy binge drinker for the past ten years. He met, inpregnated and has had a child with a fantastic adult child of an alcoholic. The baby is 2 months old, they are in love and both drink too much.

      While sober the two of them are so happy together and in the stage where they are happily planning their first Christmas as a family, etc. Last night (and this happens every few weeks or more), they got drunk together and things went from bad to worse. His personality changes completely when he drinks and he drinks dangerous amounts and quickly. He becomes argumentative, surly and rude. She argues back, cries and the baby sleeps through all this. Last night they were at my summer home and I heard the drunken argument that went on until four a.m.

      I have tried talking to my son about his drinking and he is in denial although he talks about cutting down. He is an alcoholic by any standards and she is not far behind him having drank a full bottle of wine and a half dozen beers last night.

      They are precious to me as, when sober, they are loving, humorous, a team and totally taken with their newborn. I am worried for the physical well-being of the infant more than anything. So far they have not become violent to my knowledge but he raised his voice last night and is a total stranger to me when drunk. I've seen him pick up the baby drunk and rock him awkwardly.

      I feel if I could get her onside, she could influence him as they party together and he adores her.

      Do I send them both another letter (I've sent him a few which were thrown back in my face)? It would be the first time I addressed the issue with her. If so, what do I say?
      Do I take her aside and try to talk to her behind his back. He is so sensitive I could see him withholding my grandson from me as punishment for interfering. I am willing to take that risk but only if it helps.

      Please advise...

    2. #2
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      Son with Newborn is a Binge Drinker

      Oh hon that is a very difficult situation to be in. What does your husband think? Do you know her folks? I would think the more people you could get for an "intervention" the better. They could blow you off, but the more people that talk to them the better. Does your son have brother and sisters that feel as you do?

    3. #3
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      Son with Newborn is a Binge Drinker

      Yes, we all feel the same. His girl is a problem drinker and a child of a severe alcoholic. We may have to have an intervention if it gets much worse. He will freak out but it's better than dying.

    4. #4
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      Son with Newborn is a Binge Drinker

      Hi SoberSoul, Yes, I think the child's welfare is the priority here. I'm not sure how I would approach this but I do think that you have to sit down and think about what you have done so far; think about the next possible steps; start putting each of them into action. I think Hart's idea about getting as many people as possible onside is a good one. Can you have a quiet word with the child's health visitor/ attendant nurse or do you not want to raise this outside the family yet? I wish yo all the best with this very difficult issue.

    5. #5
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      Son with Newborn is a Binge Drinker

      Hi SoberSoul, I really feel for you and the situation you are in. Your son hasn't responded well to your efforts in the past, maybe getting her on side would be a good place to start. I don't know, it's a very tricky situation. He's in denial and will be defensive. I wish I could be of some help, I just want you to know you are not alone and this is a safe environment for you to air your feelings.

      You might also want to look up al anon? They support families of alcoholics I believe, and might be able to help. :l

    6. #6
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      Son with Newborn is a Binge Drinker

      They are coming today for a few nights and I was thinking of telling them that if one of them gets drunk the other one HAS to stay sober and that if they argue, I will bring the baby in my room. That way they know where I stand. I can't change their drinking right now but while they are here I can protect the baby. They are wonderful parents 99% of the time. They are both very loving people normally. Alcohol is so destructive; my beautiful grandson is saddled with parents who are in denial.

    7. #7
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      Son with Newborn is a Binge Drinker

      Hi SoberSoul, That sounds like a good plan. Why not ask them to take the baby in your room anyway? Play the grandmother wanting to watch over her grandchild card.

      It sounds a tough situation but I am sure you have got what it takes to deal with it.

      Best wishes as always

      Neddy

    8. #8
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      Son with Newborn is a Binge Drinker

      SS have you thought about telling them you've quit drinking and you'd like it if they could abstain while they're in your house?

    9. #9
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      Son with Newborn is a Binge Drinker

      3June2013;1538203 wrote: SS have you thought about telling them you've quit drinking and you'd like it if they could abstain while they're in your house?
      Wow! a radical idea 3J, but I like it. Not up to me though, but it might be worth a try SS?

    10. #10
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      Son with Newborn is a Binge Drinker

      First of all, I must have read your mind as I have already made arrangements to have junior in my room tonight as a treat for Mom and Dad to sleep in. They are thrilled.

      Can't ask them to abstain; that would be too easy. Hubby won't abstain so why would they?

      They have just arrived all sober, sweet and happy... just opened their first beers and it's 2pm

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