Focusing our attention on what we love and value...

[Arial]

?Focusing our attention ?
Daily and hourly-
Not on what is wrong,
But on what we love and value,
Allows us to participate
In the birth of a better future,
Ushered in by the choices
We make every day.
(Carol Pearson)

I have not posted here for many weeks for several reasons and am posting now really to say, given what I have just read on these boards, keep the focus on what you love and value. Trying to not lose that is surely one of the reasons most of us are here, and with the support and friendship of many who are here I have to say I have been able to cope with a new transition in my life with courage, strength and sobriety. What is it we value? What is it we love? Is it our partner, our children, our goals, our friends, our health, our family, ourselves? Whatever it is, we have been in danger of losing it through drink ? regaining that is what gives us the courage and strength to make the change we are obviously seeking.

This site has been the salvation for many ? myself included. Though I have never been too prolific in my contributions (though I have tried when possible) and I have never asked for help, the support I have received has been enormous, through the inspiration of others, through gaining strength from others? experiences and stories, through reading, reading, reading, taking a wonderful word of wisdom from here and one from there. So take the site and the wonderful people here for what they are ? tools to help you take that new direction in your life and friends to be there to rejoice and empathise as needed.

6 weeks ago I was celebrating my 18 year old daughter?s graduation and looking forward to her new venture in life at university. 2 weeks later she was diagnosed with MS and in one brush stroke the vision of her future potentially changed. I know it is not a life threatening disease, but it is a life changing one. I don?t look, or ask, for sympathy or commiseration, though I would welcome any input from anyone with any experience of MS, but I ask again, what is important in life? There are several amazing people here who cope through tragedy and trauma and still find the time to support others ? my hat off to you - I couldn?t find the emotional energy to do that ? hopefully once we get treatment up and running I will? Looking at what we love and value can help guide our choices to a better future. So my very deepest thanks to this site for enabling me to meet this challenge sober ? instead of reaching for the bottle I reach for my children and I?m there for them. So to all, thank you.

[Happier]

Arial,
I am so sorry to hear about this. I too have just celebrated my son's graduation and had his grad party. I thought all of this was quite stressful so I couldn't imagine what you and your daughter and family are going through. It was actually a very tearful summer for me. Now
we are sending him off to college Aug. 14th. Is your daughter still going off to college?

The good thing about MS is that the life expectancy now is nearly the same as that of unaffected people. Females tend to have a better prognosis. The earlier in life MS occurs the slower the disability progresses. I wish your daughter all the best and for a wonderful future
Your right it's not the end of the world but when they are just starting out their future MS puts a wrench in it.
Keep us updated.

Happier

[lushy]

Arial, so nice to hear from you again. I loved that poem and I could not agree more with what you said. That is a wonderful contribution and very welcome today.

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter's diagnosis as I know the uncertainty can be unnerving. I have a friend who was diagnosed 11 years ago and has not exhibited any further symptoms. My husband's best friend also has MS. It sadly is becoming more and more common but the good thing is that they are putting much research into the disease. Happier is right in all she said, however, in regards to the disease.

Please don't be a stranger. You provide a lot of inspiration for many people.

[SKendall]

Ariel, I've missed you lately and am so very sorry to hear about your daughter. What a life changing moment and when I read this I just had a gut wrench.

I know of 3 people with MS, one is my step daughter. As you will discover there are varying degrees of MS. My step-daughter has been in total remission after her initial diagnois 10 years ago, except for occasional numbness. Fatigue and stress seem to be her worst enemies, other than that she is highly functional.

My other friend is about 58. She went misdiagnosed for years and years, but the biggest problem she has had is a thyroid problem and once that was regulated, she functions extremely highly with minimal problems.

My other friend I have lost touch with when I lived In Texas and the doc told her she would be better moving to a northern climate because heat is a stressor, she remained in Texas and I lost touch with her.

There is a lot of MS research being done at Swedish Hospital in Seattle if you are interested.

Please let us know what happens. Hugs to you.:l

[Preciouspinot]

What a beautiful post at such an appropriate time Arial. I hope you continue to come here for the needed support and friendship this site has to offer. I have a good female friend who has MS. She is 41 and has been diagnosed for about 6 or 7 years now. She has a great doctor and also does acupuncture. She is doing great and goes jogging and to the gym. She has some days where she feels really tired or has tingles in her legs but, those are few and far between. She is now running a restraunt with her hubby in Guatamala and having a great time in life!

[Mags]

Ariel

I haven't heard from you for a while. You are a strong and lovely person. I hope for all the best for your daughter.

[Saint Jude]

Ariel, Thanks.
Very nice post. Sending many :l and prayers to you & your daughter... I have a friend in Colorado that's still quite active, who has MS. Just gotta live day to day...
Another friend of mine is quadrepalegic...he calls us TAB's Temporarily Abled Bodies... just never know.

Congrats on Graduation too! You must be proud.

[Accountable for Me]

Arial, very nice post. Life is unpredictable for sure. Many prayers to you and your daughter. Congrats to your daughter's graduation as well! You must be very proud!

[Waves 2]

Hi Ariel,

Your post today is providing emotional support for others at a time when you are having to adjust. :l

Posts like this are the backbone of this site and I thank you for it.

Your daughter must be reeling. I am glad that you are now in a position to give her all your support.

In all cases of serious illness I think the only way to approach it is to be positive and live your lives ( as much as possible ) in the way you would if that illness were not present.

Congratulations on Graduation.

[Arial]

Dear all, thank you - what lovely responses!

It's amazing how much you can learn about something in a fairly short space of time. After spending the last weeks doing research, talking to doctors and professors both here and in the US I feel confident that I am well-enough informed to be able to help my daughter keep the control in her life that she needs. Current research is very active and also very promising so compared to 10 years ago things are looking pretty hopeful - not only for intervention but even a cure, so fingers crossed. Whereas we have, Happier, put university on hold for a year, she will be heading there next year hopefully taking life head on as any other 19 year old - we just need to spend a little time getting a few things in place and she'll be all set!

Congratulations to all others who have sons and daughters graduating this year! It is a bitter sweet time, is it not? I was the Mum at the back of the graduation hall with the the dark glasses and clutching a box of tissues - and yet there's also a sense of excitement that they're moving on to the next stage in their lives - becoming young adults. I'm excited to see what way life will turn for her as the years continue...

After having been AF for about 3 months I have to admit to having slipped a few times over the last weeks - but not to get blind drunk, not even as a way of coping, more because I just fancied a drink. However, having read many posts I am also aware that this can quickly turn into a slippery slope so I'm going to be back with the abstainers for a while to make sure I keep that big, ugly monster at bay. One thing I can still say absolutely is it's not welcome here any more!