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  1. #1
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    Another rock bottom

    I woke up this morning with the most horrible knot in my stomach, and it wont go away..We had a massive drink fueled row last night in front of the kids..The worst one we have ever had..I cant get the poor kids faces out of my head..I feel like scum...I am scum..
    I have just rang work to tell them i wont be in today and have thrown out all the alcahol in the house..I dont feel its enough..I want to do more...I have never felt as low as i do right now..It might be what i need...And what i deserve..Things have gotta change..I have got to change..I am just sick to death with always going uphill..

  2. #2
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    Another rock bottom

    Oh Mackeral......I know that knot in the stomach well! Listen.....Things WILL change because you want them to. Take stock today, nurse your wounds and think of a plan. Please be easy on yourself. You are a good, good person and we are all here for you. Bella xxx

  3. #3
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    Another rock bottom

    Sorry you`re feeling so down Mackeral, but please don`t get mad at yourself................you`re just experiencing many of the trials and tribulations that we all have to learn to overcome, nomatter how long it takes each of us.

    Take heart, because the more attempts we make at going uphill, the less steep the slope becomes.

    Hope you feel better soon.

    Much love,

    Starlight Impress x

  4. #4
    Registered User. AMELIA's Avatar

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    Another rock bottom

    So sorry to read that Mackeral. Know how it feels, thinking of you.
    xx

  5. #5
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    Another rock bottom

    You know, from a grown child's point of view, the worst thing isnt the fight itself, it's a parent who doesn't recognize the abuse, denial etc. Children want to be acknowledged and are actually pretty resilient. But they like an apology.

    get over your headache and get back to MWO!

    nancy
    ps
    you are not scum, you have a problem. if someone external you loved had the same thing, no doubt you would not use the word scum

  6. #6
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    Another rock bottom

    Thankyou for the advice, there is a simple solution..I just gotta not drink ever again..And because i am so mad with myself i can see me doing it this time..I have said that so many times before..but i can actually see it...No good has ever come from drink..And it never will...Time to grow up and start acting my age..I dont want to be a drunken slob my wife and kids see sat on the couch every night..And i dont feel sorry for myself this time...I feel sorry for them..

  7. #7
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    Another rock bottom

    Hi Mackeral
    Just wanted to send my thoughts to you...feeling like that is truly horrible isn't it. But the feelings are horrible, not you. As a pal once said to me, "You're not shit, just in shit". You're not shit, just feeling shit today. I had a row with my man yesterday, too - felt horrible but it's OK now. No booze does help...
    Blessings
    FMF x

  8. #8
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    Another rock bottom

    you might find this hard to believe, but some parents are unaware of the damage they cause their children. you are aware, so take that and be glad that you know this is wrong..

  9. #9
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    Another rock bottom

    Hi Mackeral
    Just wnted to send you my thoughts. It's a truly horrible feeling isn't it? You are not alone - I had a row with my man yesterday but it is OK now - no booze does help to , if not keep, get your head back afterwards... As a pal once said to me, "You're not shit just in shit" and so I say, "you're not shit, just feeling shit".
    Good on you - you can do this. Don't let this horrible feeling (which isn't you) win and make you take another drink.
    Blessings
    FMF x

  10. #10
    Registered User. satori's Avatar

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    Another rock bottom

    Hi Mackeral,

    Sorry to hear about your row - been there - felt like sh*t too - but - it was the thought of what I was doing to my kids that made me want to change too!

    Dont beat yourself up mate - get some rest and some water inside you, and once you are feeling better - go and apologise to them all
    And - if you REALLY mean to go AF forever - tell them that!

    I wish you and your family all the best.

    We are here if you need us - We all know this is not a walk in the park!

    Take care

    Satori

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