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  1. #1
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    Alcoholism is...

    I went to an AA meeting last week -- I don't like AA but I am struggling and need to find some new tools. I asked the leader for a phone number, called her, and when we were talking, she said "alcoholism is more than just drinking." Sorry to be dense, but I am having a hard time processing this comment. Is is the fear and emotional crap that goes along with drinking (well the crap the next day), or something else? I am still trying to wrap my head around the term "alcoholism;" I just can't go there. Is this what is holding me back? I am trying to figure this out.

  2. #2
    Registered User. AAthlete's Avatar

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    Alcoholism is...

    In AA, alcoholism is just a symptom - not our true problem. I drank because I couldn't find a good way to deal with my selfishness, self-centeredness and dishonesty. I could just as well have done drugs, become abusive, etc.

    That's why simply stopping drinking in and of itself rarely sticks - we aren't addressing the underlying issues of why we were drinking in the first place. It was only when I accepted my disease, accepted and was willing to change my character defects, and became willing to make amends for the harms done that I truly let go of those defects and had the urge to drink removed. That was my experience, but of course every one is different.

    Hope that helps....

  3. #3
    Registered User. wonderworld's Avatar

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    Alcoholism is...

    Hey CS:

    I think she might be talking about the stuff in all the other steps after step 1. While I'm not fond of the AA language sometimes, it's not completely different from the MWO idea of honestly and openly examining your drinking triggers, drinking aftermath, drinking history, effects of drinking on your health, happiness and relationships and life in general. It's kind of like saying that taking the actual drink is just the final step in a habitual pattern, and that you have to deal with the whole picture to change that pattern. That simply "not drinking" doesn't work.

    there's my go at it! Hope you're doing okay otherwise -

    WW xox

  4. #4
    Registered User. vlad's Avatar

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    Alcoholism is...

    Alcoholism for me wasn't so much how much I was drinking as to the obsessional aspect - it was like I was living in a completely different world to everyone else. I could no longer relate to the real world, the place I was in was a scary, dark place - the only thing that mattered was where my next drink was coming from, couldn't think much beyond this. I was THAT obsessed; whilst at work, a colleague once caught me looking at images of vodka on the internet!!! (Ummm... what was I going to do? Lick the graphics off the monitor screen?!!!? Goodness knows...) But on a serious note being obsessed caused me to take risks, e.g. turning up to work drunk, turning up to church drunk, drink driving etc etc. It was at this point I admitted to being alcoholic. Not sure if that answers the question.

  5. #5
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    Alcoholism is...

    Wonderworld, I guess that's what they mean by a "dry drunk" (which I was once trying to explain to another MWO member). I know the Big Picture (marriage? motherhood? career/business?) has flaws, and it scared me on those weeks that I was AF before. So that is why I have been sitting on "Now what" for a month now.

  6. #6
    Registered User. lukalee's Avatar

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    Alcoholism is...

    My question to your question is, why do you drink?

  7. #7
    Registered User. ready2change's Avatar

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    Alcoholism is...

    Lukalee...I know your directing this to CS04, but I wanted to ask you this. What if you don't know WHY you drink? I started drinking as a young teenager. Drugs and alcohol. Married in my early 20's and became what I would have labeled then a "social" drinker. But know at 51 I see that alcohol has always been a problem for me...more so the last few years. But I honestly don't know WHY I drink? I don't want to, but I am driven to? Is that the addiction? Is my brain re-wired from all these years of abuse? Am I just a pleasure seeker...chasing the elusive buzz? I really want to know WHY I drink...I have a great life, so can't blame it on that. Any ideas...anyone?

    R2C

  8. #8
    Registered User. Doggygirl's Avatar

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    Alcoholism is...

    luckalee and r2c, interesting questions about "why do you drink."

    I too am 50. The reasons I became a heavy drinker in the first place (back to the teen & college years - doing what others did, "loosening up," fitting in socially, etc.) no longer apply. At some point, I morphed into someone who drinks because I am addicted to alcohol. In the last year of pondering the question a whole lot, that's what I see as my current situation. (well, no drinking for 68 days but you know what I mean......) My brain just wants a fix. My brain will get over it eventually.

    DG

  9. #9
    Registered User. magic's Avatar

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    Alcoholism is...

    There are no black and white lines on this page.

    Alcoholism is a complex disease......addiction, affliction, what ever you want to call it.

    Each and every one of us has different answers to different questions.

    But there are questions. "Why do I drink?" is a complicated one.

    You need to find YOUR queries first, then set about to find the answers. With honesty~to yourself. That is often the hardest part.

    Putting down the drink is just the beginning.

    You need a healthy brain to formulate your questions. And a healthy brain to understand your answers.

    Sobriety must accompany change~change must accompany sobriety.

    And with respect to both you AA Athlete and AA ~willing to a change my character defects and willing to make amends for harms done.......I think that it is unfair to post this out of context. The 12 steps cannot be taken piecemeal nor are they a blanket repose for everyone. Women who suffer abuse at the hands of a spouse come to mind.

    We all have character defects and have inflicted harm to others. We are, after all, human beings. I, myself, believe neither of these things to be cause for alcoholism.
    Laying blame on the alcoholic because of behavior is just unfair.

    Yes, we must take responsibility for our actions. But so must those around us and not lay blame for their actions at our feet.

    For those of you still looking for your questions.....keep looking. They're there.

    magic xxxx

  10. #10
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    Alcoholism is...

    uncertain and unstable

    I guess that is why these questions -- and answers -- keep eluding me: my brain must not be healthy. I am not a big fan of 12 step programs. That's partly why I like MWO, becaause of the other elements. I thought that Topa, supps and the CDs were going to be the answer for me, and they weren't enough. So that is where I am today.

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